Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Overcome your loneliness, after a narcissist relationship. If the break up is new or the children visit the other parent and you are at a loss with what to do with yourself.
We all do have a need for human connection.
Don’t worry about feeling lonely right now, others have been there and got through it, and can you too.
To be alone, means you are physically alone.
To be lonely is a physical state of mind.
So you can be alone with yourself and not feel lonely.
Or as you probably realised during the narcissistic relationship you can be with someone and feel lonely.
Face removing the toxic people from your life.
Accept the loneliness and embrace it. It’s all about taking the small steps to get to where you want to be.
Step 1. Stop telling yourself you are lonely it’ll not help, tell yourself. “I’m good with my own company.” Then do some of the following things until you are.
Step 2. Create a vision of where you want to be in six months, write it down, focus on it, then take the steps to get yourself there.
Embrace your loneliness, your time is now yours, to do what makes you happy, to find what you enjoy, to do things that give you inner joy, have a break and do what you want to do.
Step 3. Creating new routines for yourself and how you want to do things now.
Step 4. Call a friend, sometimes they might say no, that’s fine people are busy, others they might say yes, great.
Step 5. Focus on your quality of friends, not the quantity.
Step 6. Learn to be happy with your own company. Join groups, people with similar interests to your own, find new interests. Volunteer, or give something back, it really helps you. As Charles Dickens said. “ no one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.” find something you’re interested in thats creative and do it, even if it’s just singing in the shower.
Step 7. Be true to yourself, don’t people please, do what makes you happy, do what feels right for you. Find one thing you are, then take note, then find another, then take note, keep asking yourself, “ what do I enjoy,” “who do I want to be.” “ who am I.”
Step 9. Remember creating yourself new hobbies and new routines, takes time so take your time do the baby steps and find things that you enjoy.
step 10. Work on your Presences, right now you need to focus on the moment, focus on today, don’t be distracted, by worrying about the past, or the future. Live in the here and now, whatever you are doing at every moment of every day focus on the task you are doing if you start obsessing about the past. Bring your self back and concentrate on what you are doing right now,
Step 11. Everyone has insecurities, everyone has dreams, everyone eats, everyone has strange quirks, take a genuine interest in others, learn what you do have in common, with people
Step 12. Relax, don’t rush yourself through, take time out and do what you want to do for you.
Step 13. Reach out to others, either to get the help and support you need, or to help support and advise those in need.
There is nothing wrong with feeling lonely, embrace that feeling, it’s there to help you learn who you are, others have and so can you. It will be ok, it will work out, just believe in yourself, take the steps to create a new happier life for you.