Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
You will recover after a narcissistic relationship.
If you have got out of the relationship, or if they left have you, either way, it’s incredibly hard, stay strong, it will get easier.
If you’ve finally stopped giving into to your parents or friends demands, feeling guilt for walking away, stay strong you’ve done the right thing for your happiness.
From gaslighting to playing the victim, mental or physical abuse. A Narcissist wants, what they want, whenever they want it, and nothing else will do.
Regardless of what type of narcissist you were in a relationship with, most have the same four basic traits.
They all lack empathy.
Dangerous disregard for others.
When you get free it’s hard, so now You need to imagine, the level of freedom you are now Going to have, you can make your own choices that suit you, and you can become yourself again and enjoy the things in life that you enjoy doing.
So now is the time no matter how hard, if you want to recover, you’ve got to put the work in, if you want a happy life again, you’ve got to get up, show up, get out there and start doing all those things you love again for you. This will help you find yourself again and bring your inner happiness back out. Try new things, a little hint, if you enjoy something, you don’t have to be good at it, you just have to enjoy it, then keep going.
Your allowed days off, you’re allowed to relax, cry, scream, you just have to give yourself the willpower to go again.
With the great thanks to the mind-numbing programming from the narcissist, you may still be in the mindset of. “I can not do that. “ or “I’m not good enough.”
Only you can change that, by removing those thoughts when they pop into your head and tell yourself. “I’m free to do what I want to do.” “ I’m good enough for me, and good people will agree.”
Write a list as to why you left. Another thing you might need to deal with once you are out, is that narcissist, they hate that you’re no longer under there control and some will go all out to destroy you, they may even send flying monkeys you way, they may smear you to others, report you to the police, or rarely they may say how good you are, so when you tell others what they are doing, they can play victim. This is incredibly tough when you’re feeling weak. They may even swoop in with their reinforcements of playing nice, re-idolisation of you if they think you are coming out of that trance they put you under, and they have no one else to give them endless attention.
When you feel weak, and they come back all sweet, pull out that list and remind yourself, why you left, and why you need to stay out.
Now it’s all about you, what you love, what you want out of life, what makes you happy.
It is OK to feel fear, do not let it stop you. You can live without them, and you can do so much better in your life, and you can be so much happier. It’s incredibly hard at first, getting out and staying out while the narcissist is running around your head, don’t worry it will pass and you’ll soon be in a much brighter place and so much happier.
No one deserves the torment of a narcissist, you can stay free, keep reminding yourself, no one deserves to be treated that way, and you can have a happier life, you deserve a happier life.
Sometimes it’s the routine you miss and not the person, and sometimes it’s the dreams of the relationship with a partner, or a partner.
You might feel you love them, that is most likely the trauma bond attachment. Most people, when being abused, don’t stop loving the abuser, they stop loving themselves, you need to fall in love with who you indeed are.
Change is scary, change is hard, but how many times have you gone back to give them another chance to treat you right? How did that work out for you? You need to go in a new direction now, no matter how hard it seems, for a feeling of much more peace and happier life, yes you can do it.
People who haven’t been there don’t understand it, try and talk to people who have been through it, who totally understand how you feel, get your feelings validated, how you feel is valid, find supportive people raising people back up onto a much happier life.
You are allowed to grieve, in fact, you need to grieve let it all out, once you have it’s time to move forward and leave the narcissist in the past.
You can do it, and you will do it, stay strong, keep getting up, keep going, it will getting easier, then life becomes beautiful again.
You can, and you will.
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