When you are feeling bad after a narcissistic relationship, not looking forward to the next day, lots of negative thoughts, lots of bad thoughts all clumped together, struggling with day to day life and your self-esteem is shot to pieces, here is another method to try.
It’s time to focus on what you’ve achieved each and every day no matter how small, at the end of each and every day.
The more self-esteem you have, the more challenges you can face in day to day life.
So on a scale, 1 to 10 where is your self-esteem at now. 1 lowest 10 the best.
So now imagine someone is coming to interview you on your life, all about before during and after the narcissistic relationship and this report is to help others in different stages of their recovery, then write down every single thing you have achieved in your life so far, anything at all so from the first book you enjoyed reading, what you achieved in school, even didn’t often go, because you found it so so hard, find a few fun moments you can bring to mind, if you’re one that aced school write that, remember we are all great at something.
Albert Einstein’s. “ If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing it’s stupid.”
A picture you drew as a child, your first job, birth of your first child both men and women, you both became a parent that day, passing your driving test, making your bed today, brushing your teeth today.
Any and all achievements, you have a lot, you sometimes you just need to search harder for them when you’ve got low self-esteem,
As for today, if you’re genuinely struggling put anything, even if it’s just going to the toilet, hey you needed to so you got up and did it. It’s an achievement, own it and be proud of it. All of them, no matter how small or how big, writing them all down for the interview.
Then once you have put them down, you need to become in your mind that reporter you have to observe that list as if it’s not your own, become that reporter, who knows everything you’ve been through with the narcissist as they’ve been through it too, they know all the ups and downs, what a hard journey you’ve been through, and just how hard it is to rise back up. Now see it all your achievements through there eyes, look at all those achievements throughout your life in its entirety, Then tell that person just how special they are, looking at it through your own eyes, look at all the things you’ve achieved despite the hard times, look at the things you’ve accomplished today, despite all the difficult times, you felt rubbish yet made your bed, brushed your teeth, you made a drink, then tell yourself how proud you are of yourself for everything you have been through and all you have achieved.
Then think about how much you would respects someone else if they’d been through all you’ve been through, value how much they have been through, and just how amazing they are doing.
Then take that own it and be proud of yourself, each day add something new you do to that list, small things at first and keep building upon those, at first you will just have to tell yourself to do the simple things, if you keep going before you know it your brain will program it’s self to default, and you’ll just be doing them, praise yourself as a narcissistic relationship is hard to recover from, then when your doing the default daily things, you can work towards discovering your passions, you’ve learnt you make yourself do the small, this is an essential step if you’re not already doing them, because when you drive forward to the bigger, sometimes we slip up, sometimes we make a mistake, and sometimes we get held back, those are the times you need to remember how far you’ve come, reflect and be proud of your achievements so far, allow yourself the setback, them drive yourself forwards to try another way and go again, then keep going, until that’s programmed as default in your mind.
You need to pay attention to how you see and talk to yourself. “I can not,” you need to stop that thought and tell yourself ” I can.”
It takes time, just like over time your brain got reprogrammed with the narcissist, now you need to learn then action reprogramming it for you.
You can do it. You just need to start. Then you need to keep going.
If another human can do it and you put your mind to it, and you want it, find your drive for it, you can do it too.
Believe in yourself, anything is possible.
After a few days, write down where your self-esteem is again on a scale of 1 to 10
1 being the lowest 10 being the top.
Keep going and keep moving yourself up, it’s your very own challenge, no right way on how many or what you do each day, only your own special was just for you, keep going, you will build your self-esteem back up, and you can do it.
How narcissists get you doubting yourself.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.