A narcissist and their silent treatments.
The narcissist’s silent treatment is psychological, emotional, ￼￼and mental abuse and is one of the narcissist’s favourite manipulation methods. It’s to torture your mind, as it slowly takes away your self-confidence, and your self-esteem leaves you in pain and leaves you feeling powerless. The silent treatment is devastating,
A narcissist is all about control. Their silent treatment is their way of telling you. They think you’re beneath them, and you need to be punished until you conform to their ways.
The narcissist will never admit they fear anything. Yet, with their silent treatment, they deploy it as they fear being in the wrong, as they fear openness, they fear being truly vulnerable, they fear exposure, they fear not getting their own way, and they can act the victim. Yet, they fear being the victim, so they need to make you feel like you are the problem, so they blame it all on you. Their silence is to shame and manipulate you into conforming to their demands. The silent treatment is, so you stop doing the things you enjoy doing and start doing what the narcissists want you to do, for fear of silence. If you don’t do as they please, narcissists want you to conform to their demands. You are being manipulated into doing what they want and forgetting who you are.
The narcissist can give the silent treatment for hours, days, weeks or even months. Genuine people can also fall silent with genuine people. They do it because they are genuinely hurt and unable to talk about why. Need to figure some stuff out, and then they’ll communicate with you again. A narcissist doesn’t want to communicate with you. They want to control you.
Genuine people might fall silent when they’ve been lied to. Narcissistic people fall silent when they get caught out on a lie. Genuine people might fall silent when someone repeatedly lets them down. Narcissists fall silent when they don’t get their own way. Genuine people can fall silent when they learn someone has cheated on them. Narcissists fall silent when they get caught out for cheating.
A narcissist uses silence to escape responsibility, to escape communication, to evade consequences and to hurt you.
Their silent treatment is used to cause you feelings of frustration and pain. The silent treatment causes your brain to hurt the same way as physical pain because you are wired to be part of a group, to be around others. The silent treatment gives you emotional distress. You start blaming yourself, you start looking for reasons as to what you did, and the narcissist will come back and use those very reasons against you. Hence, they gain more control over you as you change to whatever they want you to be. Therefore, you avoid any further silent treatment. Of course, a narcissist will not stop. They’ll give you the silent treatment again. The silent treatment causes you to feel hurt, confused, frustrated, annoyed, get angry, and possibly react so that the narcissist can blame you for your reactions to escape the consequences of their actions.
What can you do?
Stop playing. Recognise their silence for what it is. Don’t play the game with them anymore, as they take great delight in your reactions to their silent treatment.
You can not say anything to change it. It’s a game of control to a narcissist, and many enjoy it.
You can not change a narcissist. You tried to help and be reasonable within the relationship. You can not give an unhealthy person healthy values. They don’t get it. You can not say or do anything to change them. It’s all one big game to them.
You often end up being the one apologising to the narcissist.
A narcissist is limited. They are not able to compromise unless they can use that compromise￼ to exploit another. They can not see someone else’s point of view. They don’t want to see someone else point of view. They lack the empathy to care.
It’s time to work on you. You don’t need to comply or join in with the narcissist games. They try to turn you into someone you’re not.
You’re in charge of your peace and calm, and it is given to you by you. You can find your inner happiness again.
When it comes to a narcissist’s silence, respect their silence and use it to distance yourself from them, as many narcissists are waiting for you to chase them.
The narcissist’s silent treatment.
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