Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
They give no closure, most likely they Know they stay longer within your mind, they remain stuck there and harder to move out, without closure most people will still search for answers, as most people want to know why, and then want to know-how. Most likely the narcissist has learned from the exes, just how much it helps their smear campaigns as you search for answers, also that people chase them to get those answers as most people want to know why so they are gaining attention by not giving you answers. The fact they don’t see themselves as the problem, they lack in object consistency, meaning they can walk away and simply not care. The only thing they car for is revenge as in their reality it’s all your fault.
It’s just a further manipulation tactic to keep you hooked, they can not let someone get the better of them, so they seek out smear campaigns and further ways to hurt you. To keep you locked into their world.
They know the impact they left on you is deep, you want answers, because you’re not getting them, you want and need to know what’s happening even more, some of us then end up messaging and ringing to get closure, for the narcissist to further use this in their smear campaign against you, telling those who will listen, you’re stalking them.
Perhaps they owe you money, another manipulation tactic, In the hope you ask them for it they’ll never give it to you, just provide excuses after excuses to keep you hanging on, like dangling a carrot and then taking it away, they get to keep the connection for longer.
Or they’ll then give you the “what money?” Just to confuse and anger you more. Please see my financial abuse post for more information.
Then it will be belongings they leave in your home. they issue excuses after excuses again to keep you waiting, or they’ll keep yours, the ones you most value, again they will keep excuses going of why they will not return them.
They also might want to keep you attached so when they hoover, you’ve not fully let it go.
They may turn up where you are, so you act unhinged, then when you react, this helps them with there smear campaign against you and how crazy you are.
They may disappear for a while, to leave you wondering, what’s happened to them?
All tactics to keep you thinking about them.
learning about the disorder will give you the closure you need for yourself, whilst also creating a new life for you, new dreams and new routines, new friend and new hobbies, to keep your mind occupied on your life more and more now and less on them, as you are worth so much more.
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The narcissists belongings.
The smear campaign.