So have you got a bad, negative past? The memory pops into your head out of know where? Do you think about it way too much? It makes you feel bad?
If you concentrate and worry about the past, it affects your future. You can not change the past. You can change your future.
You’ve tried lots of ways to stop, and it’s not working. Keep trying new methods until you find the one that works for you. Here is another method.
So you don’t just have one program in your head about the past events with that narcissist. You have an entire series, playing on repeat.
So now is the time to break free and remove those thoughts, pictures from your headspace and allow better things to enter.
A little like when you nip to the shop for a pint of milk when you get there to pick up a loaf of bread. Come home and remember, you forgot that milk. Your brain is actually designed to remember and to forget.
It’s not that you forget things. It’s that because they don’t always see things visually, sometimes you forget.
Well, this is a great thing, as you can train your brain to do this effectively.
When you’ve had a bad experience, especially over a long, confusing time, you never got closure to it—questioning why didn’t I see? Who even were they? Was it all me? Was it them? If I’d have done this? The narcissist has trained your brain over a long time. Now you just cannot shake all those thoughts out.
Along with those thoughts come flooding all those feelings. Hurt, pain, anger, resentment, confusion, and so many more. You are not alone. You can move past this.
Bring it consciously into your mind. More often than not, it just pops in any way. You can learn that you can bring thoughts into your head, then wipe them out with a fun memory, and shut down thoughts. If it pops, subconsciously doing the same. Keep doing that consciously until you suddenly think, “Hey, I no longer subconsciously do it.” Then stop.
Or bring that thought into your head. Then close your eyes and see the picture, then bring that picture into a small circle, then turn it black, then turn it white, repeatedly, or thing black white repeatedly.
If you’re thinking about revenge. The thing about the past is it’s over, it’s done, it’s finished, it’s in the past, no matter how many times you went back, there comes a time you stop going back, and you start to recover. If you still have the mind games because of the children, know exactly what they do, learn the pattern of manipulation, don’t react to any, you’ll soon see that pattern, once you’re aware of that pattern, you’ll know not to react, and what will come next.
You have a blank future waiting ahead. It’s right there in front of you, reach in, grab it, take a leap of faith in yourself and go for it. You can do all sorts with your life, even things you haven’t even dreamed about yet.
Please remember, this is just for advice. Try different techniques until you find what works for you. Again, Narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum, so if you have to go no contact, do it. If not grey rock, please see my post on this.
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All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.