Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Overcome anxiety, the timeline process,
This is to overcome the anxiety of any future events you have coming up.
So if you get anxiety, overseeing a narcissist, this one I’m going to use the example of, you’ve got to see them face to face either when they pick up the children. Or you’ve got the children’s birthday party, and they’ll be there. Of a family do, and your narcissistic parent will be there.
If your feeling stressed because you’re dwelling on something you don’t want to do in the future when you focus on the dread, the more you focus on the negative, the more your subconscious mind gives you anxiety.
You get these because of your internal thought process, so you need to change your perspective.
So imagine your subconscious mind, has a timeline of your past, present and future, with a narcissist, you may not have to imagine, it might already be in your conscious mind.
Close your eyes and put that time lime from up to down, left to right, or diagonal, whatever suits you, with your past at the start, present in the middle and future at the end.
Then where is your past, point in the direction that your past is? So if you put that line, left to right, point to the left if your past is on the left,
Then which direction is your future then with your other hand point to the future, give your timeline a colour.
Once you’ve found your timeline open your eyes, then think of that up and coming event that’s stressing you out.
Close your eyes and imagine this future event playing out, what do you feel in your body, that nervous, anxiety or stress,
Is it in your tummy, your head, your shoulders?
Rate 1 to 10 how anxious you feel.
Then say the number out loud,
Then open your eyes and take a long deep breath in and out.
Note what number it was, where the anxiety was in your body, you’re feeling the way you do, because of a possible, negative outcomes that you’re creating in your mind that may happen in a future event, and lots of us do this, especially after a narcissistic relationship.
Close your eyes again and ask yourself what could benefit you? What positive things, could come from this upcoming situation? Tell yourself a new story on how you would like the event to unfold, calm and happy and with a good outcome.
Then tell yourself those, no matter how hard, dig deep and find the right story. Remember it’s a future event, nothings happened, you can imagine the story as you want it to play out.
Example. I will have more opportunity to practice grey rock, minimalist interaction, until I nail it and walk away with my head held high, feeling proud of myself. Imagine it’ll go better than you ever thought, it will help you to observe who they indeed are.
If they come at me, I know I’m worth more, I shall excuse myself and go talk with good people.
While your eyes are still closed, take another deep breath, exhale slowly, then visualise, the events of what going to happen, working in your favour.
Visual your timeline, then float above it, looking down that timeline, turn and float into your future, until the event your thinking about, then float past the event, then land back down in the future when the events of, all went well, you’re safe and happy, the narcissists words didn’t affect you and functions went even better than you first imagined.
Take another deep breath in, look back at your past, notice your anxiety has gone.
Look at what you did, how well it went, how you managed not to react, how much better you feel, then while thinking that, bring yourself back to the present moment.
Keep doing that, until your subconscious mind has changed how your thinking to a positive outcome.
Ask yourself now on a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel? If it’s gone down to and 8, it worked. Try it again to move it further towards the 1
Just keep going until you find the method that works for you.
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Observe don’t absorb.