Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
The narcissist and why they Might suddenly go quiet on Facebook.
If the narcissist in your life likes social media, as not all of them will use this, then you’ll have probably spotted some of these patterns, they do enjoy the power of Facebook, the power of social media and the power of playing games with your mind through anything they can including facebook. When it comes to manipulation and a narcissist, nothing is off-limits.
They use social media for lots of reasons.
This is when their once Facebook main page, was updated regularly, always sharing story’s, tagging you, regularly changing profile pictures, including you together at the start, then just themselves, or them and their children, narcissistic friends and parents can also play with your mind through Facebook. This allows you to see what they do through social media, and why they do this, so it no longer manipulates your mind.
When they suddenly go quiet, the profile picture stays the same, and the timeline goes quiet. They no longer update the status on their achievement, the only thing on their posts from months or years ago, birthday wishes from others, often without reply, might be the odd thumbs-up, their Facebook has gone silent.
Why do they do this, they might not be doing anything on their profile page, yet they are still using Facebook, to watch people and calculate their next move. To spy on you and to spy on others, to gather as much information as they can about those around them. To see what you’re doing if they want to hoover, or if they are devaluing you, ready for the discard.
They may have gone quiet on the page you know about, yet they may be another profile set up, that you don’t know anything about.
They do it because they believe you are less likely to block them on discard as you think you know they don’t use it, so they can still check in on your profile after the discard ready for the hoover, Some will block you, some keep it and don’t block you, as they think you might have a look at their profile, which some of us do, narcissistic ex-partners will then upload pictures with their new partner, just like they did at the beginning with you, and those photos will most often be of things, you used to do together, or things the narcissist always promised to do with you. Parents will start posting what they are doing with your siblings, friends suddenly posting with the friend they are currently love bombing, as all narcissists can love bomb and shower you with attention. Or the narcissist can start on the mass smear campaign against you, using the power of Facebook, about what a bad, friend, child, a partner you were.
Some will randomly block you during the relationship or during a silent treatment, to keep you questioning and guessing what’s happening.
They use it to triangulate people when You first meet, and they may want you to send them a friend request, they might tell you they rarely go on. That they only use it for messenger, they prefer being with people, real-life matters to them more. This is only to impress you, so you think their real and admire them.
They use it to deny accountability, so you question your self when you ask about cheating, they may say. “ how can I meet anyone I never go online, look at my Facebook,”
They might let you check the messages because of course, they’ve deleted them all, they’ll them shift blame onto you, for doubting them and treating them how you do. To provoke reactions from you.
When they meet someone new they’ll be on again, ready to show their new relationship to the world, to give that new person the social media hook, they did with you in the start. To show everyone what a normal loving relationship they can have, be it with their children, their friends, or water partner they have lined up to manipulate at that time, they are in to hide their own insecurities.
My best advice is to block all social media contact if you can, you do not want them having information about you, they will only use it against you, and as much as some people might want to see what they are doing now, if you see something it’ll only bring up past hurts and past pain for you, if you’ve already looked don’t worry a lot do, nows the time to take the change and block them.
There’s a difference between how you use social media and how they do.
They block to hurt and confuse you. You block to leave them in the past and move forward in your life.
They post to brag about how great things are, to cover up how their life cycles go. If you post, it’s to share your life with those you care for, or for those good Facebook memories a year later. Or to share with friends and family, you don’t see often.
When they tarnish your name on Facebook it’s to smear your name, divide and conquer and try to destroy you as they are envious of others when you post about narcissism, it’s to raise awareness.
When they go quiet, it’s often for mind games. When you go silent. Usually, you’ve had an emotional overload and need a social media break.
When they check in on your social media, it’s to gather information about you; it’s stalking your whereabouts and plot their next move against you. When you look at their social media, it’s to find answers that they never gave you, human minds are curious, looking in on those you once cared for, often only ending up hurting yourself more, which is why if you’re in this stage acknowledge you want to look, tell yourself it will not help you, and immediately find something to do that makes you happy. Makes you smile, makes you laugh, and keep going until you’re so wrapped up in your new life, you rarely think of there’s.
You can, and you will recover from this.
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Video for more information on how they use social media.