Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
If you’re worried about judgment from others, or before you judge others.
We are mostly loving, kind, compassionate genuinely people, because of how a narcissist has treated you, you’ve shifted your focus away from love and trust, even to yourself, you might now be left full of self-hate, self-doubt, feeling unloved, resentment, hatred, towards yourself and those around you. This is because you’ve been repeatedly told, you’re not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, kind enough, not pretty enough, and so many more. So you may resort to judgement to protect yourself from the pain, and fear of being alone.
The most powerful response, is to start communicating with others again, start on your social media feed then work up to face to face, conversations, lead by example from your inner self of forgiveness and compassion, with the narcissist you tried those over and over, which got you where you are today, this doesn’t mean stop doing it. It means to learn from it. Walk free forever from the narcissist, start giving yourself compassion understanding, that you are, a loving, generous, kind-hearted, sensitive, tolerant, considerate, loyal, human, good-natured big-hearted person and start giving those things back to yourselves, start talking to yourself the right way and not how negative people speak to you, they are not you, and you have the capability to define you.
Start giving yourself forgiveness. “I did all a could because I’m forgave them, for their wrongdoings,” “ I tried to help because I’m a kind-hearted person.” “ I took things to heart because they attacked my heart.” “ I gave them things because I’m generous.”
Then tell yourself from now on, your going to give yourself these things first and once you do, you’ll forgive those who manipulated and betrayed you, because deep down, they feel so unworthy, they have to get their self-worth from others, then walk away from them forever, you did all you could, until you lost yourself, now refind yourself and put you first. Then do all of the above to those people who deserve your trust, help, respect, caring side, your generosity, those who give it back in return. Remember you did not cause it, It’s who they are. You can not change it they have a disorder. It’s who they are. You can control how you live for you.
Tell yourself. “ I am beautiful, inside and out.”
Choose people who work with you, where you raise each other up in your dreams.
Don’t worry about judgment from others, and if they want to judge you, they are not worthy of you, they have their own insecurities and problems, those who judge, either don’t care or they are glad it’s you. Those people are not your people, there is, however, so so many people that have walked in your shoes, have lived similar story’s, can relate, Empathise, understand, care and have a willingness to help you, those are the people for you. Help those who support you and leave those who don’t.
Don’t judge others unless you’ve walked in their shoes, everyone has a different life’s journey, no one knows genuinely what others have been through, if you’re supporting someone who’s come out of a toxic relationship, they don’t need your judgement, you weren’t their, they need your help, your compassion, your empathy and support, until they rise again, a happier and better person than they were before the narcissist.
Other peoples judgement of you is not for you, two types of people in the world, those who stay on their track doing all they can for themselves to be at their best, create the best for them, and those who take down others to lift themselves up, so if you want to make the best selling book, you focus on creating that book, then their are those who create a book and go around trashing everyone else books to try and make theirs better, there could be no wrong with their book, there’s wrong in how they treat others.
We are only in competition with ourselves, never let someone’s criticism of you make you doubt your own abilities, do it anyway for you, don’t worry about others judgment of you, that is for them and never for you. You define you, never allow others to tell you otherwise, with good intentions, there is only your way to live your life.
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