Overcoming Narcissists Abuse, by Elizabeth shaw – Life Coach.
Reasons why the narcissist discard you.
When you first meet them life is amazing and you feel like it could not get any better. They tell and show you in so many ways why they are with you and how much they love you. Some sentence they use may seem over the top and some make sense.
Then over time they slowly start to devalue you, it is confusing, upsetting and just a horrendous thing to go through. They will do whatever they can to cause you pain. They will explain things to you but it’ll not make sense and this is done on purpose by the narcissist, to keep you confused and where they want you.
Video on cognitive dissonance, to explain why you get confused.
Then they will discard you, whilst you’re left empty, exhausted and shattered by everything they put you through. You’ll get no explanation as to why they’ve left. They walk away with their head held high, whilst you wonder what’s happened, and why has it all suddenly ended. Why they not told you. What did you do to cause this?
They fail to give you any explanation and they have a calculated, manipulative reason to not tell you, they believe they are better than you, don’t need to explain themselves to anyone. As they’re not acceptable for anything they believe it’s all your fault, you failed them, this also leaves you with more questions, more self-doubt and more of a reck. Which they need you to be so they can tell everyone you were the crazy one. They don’t want to give you information about why it ended. The lesser narcissist that doesn’t know what they are, doesn’t know themselves they just know it had to end. That’s the way it has to be.
1. They leave because they realise you’ve worked out exactly what they are, either from others telling you, or finding out about it on the internet. So the narcissist believes they must provoke you and get an emotional reaction from you. You may not fully understand why they are doing this, or why it’s so important to them, but you do know they want you to react and you’ve stopped reacting. You’ve learnt to respond in a neutral fashion which the narcissist hates. So they up their game with you. Whilst finding someone new to latch onto. Your resistance is substantial and you’ve turned off the emotions, you’ve not walked away, perhaps because of the family home, children, financial reason, or you don’t fully understand narcissism and still hope they will change to the person you met at the beginning. They feel week without your emotional response so they leave.
2. They’ve found someone new, they’ve probably had countless affairs, to find a suitable backup, for if you leave them. They’ve seduced someone new who’s giving them lots of emotions. So now they have a nice new shiny person to play with their emotions. Don’t worry it’s nothing you did. It’s not because they love them as they can not love anyone. They will try and come back one day.
3. They’ve fully broken you. They don’t actually want to finish you off. They want to take you down to bring you back up to take you down again. Like holding your head underwater just long enough so you need air to bring you to back up for air to just shove you under again. Sometimes they take it to far and completely break you so you can not come back up from the mess they’ve put you in. No, you can not whist your with them, but once you leave you can rebuild your life. Because you are left numb of not functioning. Even in a hospital because of a mental breakdown down. The narcissist didn’t actually mean to push you this far, as they’re getting nothing from you, but as they’re getting no emotions from you they leave. Again telling those around you that you’re crazy. Which to others you will look. Others will not always realise it’s the narcissist that put you there and you may not until you leave.
4. Exposure. Because you’ve worked them out but not fully and you’ve not worked it all out. You may be trying to tell those around you who they are because you don’t know the full facts, also the narcissist will have got in there before you, they maintain the mask. Some may realise and see you’re telling the truth, so they take your side, tell others and turn their backs on the narcissist. Their false self is crumbling, they are getting no emotional response and it takes to much energy from them to get any. So rather than face the music. They drop you and move on for someone new. With people who don’t know what they are.
5. Wounding with the intent. Not only do you know who they are, you know to give emotional free criticism to them which criticism hurts a narcissist greatly. They are been beaten and hate it. They believe you’ve been taught by someone. Also, they feel like they are under attack. So they flee quickly. They retreat. You want to get revenge. They want out to recover. Then come back to get you once your guard has dropped.
Those are some of the reasons a narcissist leaves. Remember them leaving is the best thing that could possibly happen to you.
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