Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw. Self -worth.
After the narcissist, you may have lost your self worth to them.
The negative effect on your self worth after a narcissist is huge, you can overcome it, right now you may feel lost, you may feel shame and you may feel unworthy, this is all because of how the narcissist treated you. you are not alone others have and do feel like this too. So don’t be ashamed it’s normal after being with a narcissist. Don’t let it shape you to who you are today, don’t tell yourself “you’re not good enough “ tell yourself “you are, good enough you are worthy you do deserve to be treated better” leave the narcissist behind yes that is hard with trauma bond but you can get through it. I have a post on trauma bonding. You might be ashamed to speak up for yourself, you might be talking down to yourself. You might be hiding away at home and lost your self-care. Lose the blame and the shame and rebuild yourself.
Self-worth is about valuing, respecting and knowing your own self worth knowing your own values and what you are. Start with courage small steps, small risks to get things you want for yourself. even if you are afraid. for example if your not wanting to go out with friends, give yourself courage just make yourself get dressed and go once you are there you will have fun. When home you’ll be proud of yourself and this will help you continue to grow. Give yourself the courage to be applying for a job. Just do it and keep going until you achieve what you want. Getting out of bed and walking out of that front door. Just give yourself courage, make yourself do it, even if it’s only a 5 min stroll, you will start to feel better. The courage of taking the children out. Identity your own values and start living by them. Start setting standards for yourself, what you will and will not accept. Also, standards of behaviour you’ll accept from those around you. Start creating boundaries for yourself and those around you. Big boundaries around the narcissist. Stand up to them for what you believe in what you want. Do not listen to them. When you know you’re doing the right thing for you, it doesn’t matter what they think. Now it’s about you. Give yourself protection of your own values with standards and boundaries. Once you grow these you’ll get more courage within yourself to do more. Slowly start speaking up for yourself and your own beliefs. Again baby steps all the way once you achieve the little things the big thing will become so much easier.
Read and learn everything you can about the narcissist, and how to help yourself recover, you’ve got to put the work in but you can achieve recovery, take information that helps you as everyone recovery is different.
With a narcissist, no contact is best to help rebuild yourself, if you have children with them and the see the children, limited contact, see the grey rock post.
Yes, I know this is hard after been this a narcissist that’s destroyed it all. Remember you had these before. You changed them for the narcissist. You can change them back for yourself. You are not alone. Others before you have done it and your teaching others after you that they can do it too.