Re-Building your self-esteem.
After a narcissistic relationship, you might be left with little self-esteem. Building up and working on your own self-esteem and inner strength will help your recovery.
Start focusing on your self-esteem, learning again how to support yourself—getting control of your own mind, body and behaviours. Your own perception. The effect you are having on the world around you, getting positive feedback and not negative. Simple steps like walking tall and smiling more, you might notice people say “You look happy” or strangers saying hello as smiles are infectious. This little step plays a massive part in you feeling happier within yourself.
No more self-destruction. Yes, we can all do this after a narcissist. Listen closely to what you are telling yourself. Instead of “I can’t “ learn from mistakes, accept them for what they are, move on and grow, tell yourself “ I can.” Until your mind believes it and you are making want seemed impossible, to now be possible. Start with easy, simple things to overcome, as seeing within yourself you are making those possible will help with the bigger things. Build those foundations up within yourself first. Don’t talk negatively to yourself and don’t give up, yes you’re allowed time to evaluate, reflect but don’t spend too long thinking about what it is spending more time overcoming it—taking care of yourself, getting in that shower, brushing your teeth. Slowly get control of your finances, slowly start a new activity, slowly begin a new routine, gradually start eating healthy and slowly start drinking less or even smoking less. If you are at the start and dive in a slip up will affect you more than if you are doing it slowly, remember mistakes are allowed as long as you learn from them.
You can not forever sit around full of self-pity, it’ll not help you. You need to keep going and keep trying. Yes, that’s hard after being with a narcissist as they will have manipulated you into feeling guilty if you take care of yourself, as they demanded you take care of them.
Well now your not doing it for anyone else you are doing it for you. So start doing whatever makes you happy. Keep going keep trying new things and new approaches until you find what works for you. Yes, you can do it.
Give up on that narcissist they do not want to change, do not give up on yourself. Remember you changed yourself once for them. You can change yourself again for a better, happier, more positive you.
Most importantly, you have got to want to help yourself, find what works for you. The narcissist didn’t fix you; they broke you. No one else will heal you. Good people will advise and support you. You have to action the steps and learn to love and fix yourself first. You can do it.
Click on the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.