One thing you will have most likely lost after a narcissistic relationship is any love for yourself. If one of your parents happened to be a narcissist, you might have never truly learned to love yourself.
The best relationship you can ever have is the one with yourself, and it’s time to start working on you for you and a much happier self. You are the one that can make it or break it. You and only you are now in control of you. Whether you’ve only been with a narcissist or around a lot of them in your life. You accepted behaviour at a time you didn’t fully understand was unacceptable, you did no wrong, you’re just a loving kind trusting person, who wanted to help, care and love them.
With how well the narcissist manipulates others, through, future faking, silent treatment, gaslighting, projection, blame-shifting and the rest, there is no wonder you got left in this state. Remember you’re not alone, and you can heal and recover, you can rise above that narcissist as they’ll never be able to do what you can do. Change and be happy for you. You have changed yourself before to suit the narcissist, remember that didn’t happen in a day, the narcissist quickly gained your trust, then they slowly and carefully manipulated you bit by bit, so you were no longer you, and no longer knew what to do. Well, today’s the day to start living your life your very own way, you can do it, remember you are a good person, and you are kind you have empathy the narcissist just made you blind.
They might have slowly taken you apart. Now you can slowly put yourself back together, leaving the narcissist far behind.
Whatever pace you go, that’s up to you, and everyone has their own way, it’s not a race.
So thanks to continually trying to please the narcissist you’ve gone around in circles trying to people please, yet what you did was never enough they always wanted more from you. You’re probably left with self-hatred, well it’s time to flip that around and start working on everything you do. You’re wiser and now stronger than you were before, you can totally do this. Even if you’re struggling at the moment, tell yourself you can and believe it because you will.
”Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right. ”
Stop treating yourself poorly in the way to talk to yourself. Change your mindset for the better. Stop treating yourself poorly. Take care of yourself, treat yourself, right. It will bring you great delight. Work on small things day by day and before you know it what seems impossible right now will suddenly be possible because you’ll just be doing it. No, it’s not always easy, it takes time work and effort from you. Think about all that effort you put in for the narcissist. Now believe you can put that effort in for yourself, your goals your dreams.
Your mind controls your emotions, and you control your mind. Turn inwards and focus on healing yourself, take back control of your mind.
On your journey to rediscovery, remember there is nothing wrong with compromising with other people so long as you are not compromising your own newfound integrity.
Tune into your instincts and listen to them, even when your unsure what they are saying, follow them and things will work out, you’ll be able to trust within yourself again.
Talk to yourself kindly always, who cares if you’ve made a mistake, to fail is just your first attempt in learning, learn from it step over it and carry on for you. Always look for the positive in every situation.
”Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
If your intentions are good, there is no wrong or right way to live your life. Only your way.
Time to take care of self on the Physical, emotion, mental and spiritual levels of you to rebuild the love back for you to feel towards yourself.
Work out in your mind what you have control over and what you can change for you. Things you can not change just work on self-acceptance and concentrate on the things you can. If the narcissist put you down over any part of your body. If you can change it and want to for you do it. If you can not change it or don’t want to change it, let it go. Work on better stuff instead.
Stop talking to yourself how the narcissist spoke to you. And start talking to yourself how you’d like to be spoken to.
If your rebuilding yourself from the bottom start with great foundations, then build yourself back up, to being wiser and happier than you were before.
A positive mindset.
Only do things because you want to.
Keep true to yourself.
Keep true to your beliefs.
Stick with boundaries.
You can, and you will love you for you again.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended Reading List.
Detaching your thoughts from the narcissist.