Narcissist and the triangulation.
Narcissist will triangulation friends and family, they’ll also cheat, they like to cause chaos, between family members, two friends or relationship. Their own children they play the golden child off against the scapegoat child. They play their own children off against step children. This is all so they feel powerful within themselves because they can never be happy within themselves.
Triangulation is just another manipulative device to the narcissist.
With a relationship it offends the partner as people like us with empathy know there should only be two people in a relationship. We feel the hurt when they cheat. The narcissist uses this for few reasons, yes they cheat on purpose, they send those messages, some they might even hope you find out about, again to cause yet another argument. “ you’re going Insane it’s only harmless fun” or “ if you’d give me more attention I wouldn’t need to would I “ always twisted back around with words onto been your fault as a narcissist is just not to be held accountable for anything, they use triangulation to gain an emotional response from you, cause confusion within your own mind and gain control.
They find it invigorating that they can gain positive emotions from two people or more at the same time, that they can get positive from one negative from another, they simply love any emotional response and the power it gives them. Triangulation allows the narcissist to get emotions and to give others confusion and they can then engage in distraction tactics. They revel in the fact that neither of the other people they’re seeing want to lose out, either they’re in the golden period and have been told how crazy you are so they want to help and save them, or your so trauma bonded you don’t want to lose them. You also don’t want the other person to win. Little do you both know at the time. The narcissist does not love or care about either of you, your both just playing straight into the narcissist hands as they happily lap up the attention of you both fighting over them, again they don’t care if they’re getting positive or negative emotions from either, they just want the emotions. Most of the time the narcissist will do their best to make sure you’re not aware of each other. Happily enjoying there time with you and with them.
They see no problem in behaving like this as they are not accountable and believe they can do as they please. With no regard for other people feeling. If they feel they are losing both and have no back up they’ll go all out to keep one of you hooked. Just because they fear being alone, within their own crazy world. They need to get emotions from others so they can feel powerful.
The lesser narcissist slips up a lot easier as their lack of memory doesn’t help them and they’re not as good with words as the greater. They both still act and feel the same.
If you have an idea they are cheating and confront them. They will spin words around very fast “it’s just a friend “ or that wasn’t me” “you’re letting your imagination run away with itself again” they will deny, deflect and go on the attack “ your overthinking things again, what if I said that to you about that work friend of your” in order to keep you with them.
If you know they are cheating do not challenge them you can not beat a narcissist this way as you’ll just give them emotion and please them. They will just confuse your twist everything and get out of it whilst you think about what just happened and end up more confused.
Other than knowing in your gut they are cheating here’s some signs to look out for. Or if you’re no longer with the narcissist you may remember some. Not all narcissist slip up like this but some do.
Obvious one calling you by the wrong name.
Mutter under their breath, she wouldn’t do this, if you hear and ask who, they’ll say one of their ex’s again triangulation and they could well be seeing on of their ex’s.
Telling you they don’t want to watch that movie again, even though you’ve not seen it with them to see it. If you mention this they will twist it, argue or silent treatment you.
A narcissist phone will more than likely be impossible to gain access to but they will have duplicate message that they send within seconds of each other to you both, remember Narcissist are rather lazy.
Talk about something you did together, which you know you didn’t do it with them, question them and you’ll be told “ you must be losing your memory” again they love trying to confuse you.
Chat about something you said even though you didn’t say it. Because it was the other person that said it. If you question them, again they will twist the words leaving you with more self doubt.
They tell you something they told you a few days ago, near enough word for word.
Mine didn’t really buy gifts but some do. If you get the exact same gift that you got a few weeks earlier they forgot which one they gave the first too.
Asking how your sister is when theirs nothing wrong with her, because it’s the other persons sister.
Showering more often than usual.
Strange one but some say the narcissist side of the bed starts to smell and you have to wash the bedding more regular.
They will triangulate friends and family. They will happily gain their secrets and spread gossip, aiming to alienate people from each other. So they feel important as everyone gose to them, but also so they don’t talk to each other and find out who the narcissist truly is. They do this with everyone. Ever noticed how the narcissist rarely has anything good to say about people and how they treat the narcissist they may say “ this is confidential but so and so has done this to me today please don’t say anything about it I’m dealing with it” thus causing you to react different towards so and so. Then so and so resents how your acting towards them and the narcissist will play on this with them. This is the narcissist divide and conquer technique.
They spread gossip like wild fire, but carefully selected so you don’t talk to the other about it. It’s gives the narcissist drama and excitement.
They may compare people to each other. Or flirts.
Heal from this no contact or limited if children together. You may have to cut off all of their friends and family to.
Toxic people work to grind you down. The narcissist brainwashed and conditioned you, the next will not be treated any better, they will just repeat they cycle. Your a free to move on with your life. No it’s not easy but you can do it and soon enough you’ll be feeling more like a better you. Keep smiling your getting to know the narcissist, now you can cut them lose and learn to love yourself again.