Overcoming anxiety after a narcissistic relationship.
You may not have suffered from anxiety before you met your ex-narcissist. Not all will experience this. However, a lot will. With all the manipulative mind games the narcissist plays, it leaves us so confused we no longer know our own minds. We can question everything and anything, yet we still have no answers.
There are many reasons people have anxiety. Being with a narcissist can be one of them, so here’s some information on anxiety, how it feels and some self-help steps.
When you’ve got so much on your mind, you might feel your heart beginning to start beating faster. Your hands might start to shake. Your tummy might begin to hurt. Then your breathing might start to become shallow. You then start telling yourself something must be wrong, feeding your anxiety more, you might start to feel dizzy and confused.
Self-help step. Going out in fresh air may help. Or calling a calming influence, a positive friend to help neutralise those thoughts.
If it is because the narcissist used to call you “fat”, so you feel anxious about your weight, you might then comfort eat to make yourself feel better. This will simply feed you anxiety as then you’ll feel guilty for eating so much. Again the start of another cycle.
You need to take control back of your anxiety. Simple baby steps one moment at a time
Self-help step. Keep a written food diary so you’re aware and become accountable for what you’re eating. When anxiety hits, instead of grabbing that piece of cake, put your shoes and coat on and make yourself walk out the door. Make sure you’re telling yourself this will help make you feel better. Take photos en route, think of the good things in your life or good thoughts about what you’d like to achieve, and then believe in yourself. Perhaps take up jogging. It releases endorphins, helping your state of mind and your body. You’ll feel so much better within yourself. It might seem impossible right now. I get that. Start believing in yourself, then start achieving. If others can do it, so can you. Don’t dive in. Take it too slow; you can do it.
You may reach for the wine or any alcohol. One or two glasses are absolutely fine. When you find yourself doing one or two bottles, it’ll not help. When you find yourself feeling worse in the morning, not being as productive in the day, and feeling worse in the evening, then you’ll grab the wine again. You’re not alone in this.
Self-help step. Again simple steps to break the habit. Drink one glass of wine, then drink a glass of water, then wine then water, creating a new cycle, this will fill you up, so you drink less wine. You’ll feel better in the morning, and you’ll slowly regain control. We all have bad days for no reason. Whatever happens, try not to be hard on yourself.
Rational anxiety, Have you ever nearly been in a car accident? You tense up and your Heart starts to race. Then the danger passes, no accident happens, and you begin to calm down. This is a reaction to an event that almost happened. If you nearly got hit by a car, it’s a rational reaction.
Irrational anxiety is not completely irrational. Often your minds have been programmed by the narcissist. It’s completely understandable that you now suffer from anxiety, it’s normal, and you’re not alone. With irrational anxiety, your mind has no explanation as to why you are having anxiety or a panic attack. Then the cycle continues, and you start to have a panic about having a panic attack, and the irrational thoughts are feeding your own anxiety. You can stop this cycle.
Your mind causes your body to panic, which then causes your mind to panic some more. Again, the same cycle begins. You can stop this cycle.
Self-help step. Get an anchor thought. Anything you feel happy about or something that makes you happy. Something you’re looking forward to. Start focusing on that, tell yourself how excited you are or where interrupting those negative thoughts every time they try to creep back in. When you look at the positive, your mind will tell you you’re excited, allowing for your body to calm down.
Anxiety comes from a reflection of your own thoughts. This can stem from guilt, shame, anger, depression, and fear, and you could have these too. It is all the thought process the narcissist has left you with. You can take simple, easy steps to adjust your thought process. Once you do this, you will see it getting easier and breaking the cycle for yourself.
Self-help step. If the narcissist was the cause of the start of your anxiety, read everything about them so you know exactly what you’re dealing with, this will help you go no contact and will help your anxiety recovery.
Three more self-help steps to stop anxiety symptoms.
Step One. Concentrate on your breathing deep long breaths in count to four, hold counting to four, exhale counting to four, completely focusing on your breathing for 3-5 minutes.
Step Two get a good photo on your screen saver, one that makes you smile and think positively. Look at its focus on it and remember those good thoughts.
Step Three close your eyes, and count down from 30. If a random negative thought enters your head, go back up to 30 try and find positive thoughts only.
Overcoming your mindset after a toxic relationship and changing your mindset to a positive one will help you break the anxiety the narcissist left you with. Believe in yourself, and you can do it. You changed the way you thought of them. Now change it for you.
Why do we end up with anxiety around a narcissist?
A narcissistic relationship and your physical health.
Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.