Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Anxiety after a narcissist.
You may not have suffered from anxiety before you met your ex-narcissist, not all will experience this. However, a lot will. With all the manipulative mind games the narcissist plays it leaves you so confused you no longer know your own mind. You question everything and anything, yet you have no answers.
Anxiety has many causes, been with a narcissist can be one of them, so here’s some information on anxiety, how it feels and some self-help steps.
When you’ve got so much on your mind, you might feel your heart to start beating faster, your hands might start to shake, your tummy might begin to hurt, then your breathing might start to become shallow. You then start telling yourself something must be wrong, feeding your anxiety more. You start to feel dizzy and confused.
self-help step. Going out in fresh air may help. Or calling a calming influence positive friend to help neutralise those thoughts.
If it because the narcissist used to call you “fat” so you feel anxious about your weight, you may then comfort eat to make yourself feel better, this will simply feed you anxiety as then you’ll feel guilty for eating so much. Again the start of another cycle.
You need to take control back of your anxiety, simple baby steps one moment at a time
self-help step. Keeping a written food diary so you’re aware and become accountable for what your eating, then when anxiety hits instead of grabbing that piece of cake, put your shoes and coat on a make your self walk out the door, make sure you’re telling yourself this will help make you feel better. Take photos on route think of the good things in your life or good thoughts about what you’d like to achieve, then believe in yourself. Perhaps take up jogging, it releases endorphins, helping your state of mind and your body. You’ll feel so much better within yourself. It might seem impossible right now. I get that. Start believing in you then start achieving. If others can do it so can you. Don’t dive in take it to slow you can do it.
You may reach for the wine or any alcohol. One or two glasses is absolutely fine, when your doing one or two bottles it’ll not help. You’ll just feel worse in the morning, not be as productive in the day, feel worse in the evening then you’ll grab the wine again, you’re not alone in this.
self help step. Again simple steps to break the habit. drink one glass of wine, then drink a glass of water, then wine than water, creating a new cycle, this will fill you up so you drink less wine. You’ll feel better in the morning and you’ll slowly regain control, we all have bad days for no reason, whatever happens, try not to be hard on yourself.
Rational anxiety, Have you ever nearly been in a car accident. You tense up your Heart starts to race. Then the danger passes no accident happened and you start to calm down. This is a reaction to an event that almost happened and if you nearly got hit by a car it’s a rational reaction.
Irrational anxiety, not completely your minds have been that messed up by the narcissist it’s completely understandable that you now suffer from anxiety, it’s normal and you’re not alone. with irrational anxiety, your mind has no explanation as to why you are having anxiety or a panic attack. Then the cycle continues and you start to have a panic about having a panic attack and the irrational thoughts are feeding your own anxiety. You can stop this cycle.
Your mind causes your body to panic, which then causes your mind to panic some more, again the same cycle begins. You can stop this cycle.
self-help step. get an anchor though. Anything you feel happy about or something that makes you happy. Something you’re looking forward to. Start focusing on that, tell yourself how excited you are or where interrupting those negative thoughts ever time they try to creep back in. When you look at the positive your mind will tell yourself you’re excited, allowing for your body to calm down.
Anxiety comes from a reflection of your own thoughts this can stem from guilt, anger, depression, you could have these too. It is all the thought process the narcissist has left you with. You can take simple easy steps to adjust your thought process. Once you do this you will see it getting easier and breaking the cycle for yourself.
self- help step. If the narcissist was the cause to the start of your anxiety read everything about them so you know exactly what you’re dealing with, this will help you go no contact, and will help your anxiety recovery.
Three more self-help steps to stop anxiety symptoms.
Step One. concentrate on your breathing deep long breath in hold as long as you can, exhale completely focusing on your breathing for 3-5 minutes.
Step Two get a good photo on your screen saver one that Makes you smile and think positive, look at it focus on it and remember those good thoughts.
Step Three close your eyes, count down from 30 if a random negative thought enters your head go back up to 30 try and find positive thought only.
Overcoming your mindset after a toxic relationship and changing your mindset to a positive one will help you break the anxiety the narcissist left you with. Believe in yourself you can do it. You changed the way you thought for them, now change it for you.
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