What do narcissistic people actually feel?
When it comes to most forms of emotion that people normally feel narcissists seem dead, yes they can put an amazing act on, they have learned from others what it looks like to portray healthy emotions, but they do not feel the usual emotions or empathy with regards to those around them.
They have an awareness, even those on the lower end of the spectrum the ones that do not know who they are, or what they are doing. Have an awareness of the fact they feel different from others. They understand and have awareness of what they do to others and how it affects them, they simply don’t have the empathy to care.
They feel great power, when they get people to please them, it gives them a great surge of energy and drives them forward to continue. It is a necessity for them to feel this great power, and it’s also addictive. Emotions that they do feel. Shame, jealousy, hate and anger. They do feel empty, which is why they need to gain reactions from people to feel powerful and recognised.
They feel the harshness when people criticise them. They feel fury when they respond to criticism. Why it’s always your fault in their minds, they feel jealous when they are not the centre of attention. They feel very frustrated when they can not make people do exactly as they want. They feel great envy when they see people with a better house or car. They feel hatred for those who turn against them.
Those feelings are very strong in themselves.
They do not feel emotions like happiness, joy, sadness, empathy etc. they are mostly absent. They have emotional paralysis. They do not feel sympathy for those around them, and if you’re watching and comment on a charity, they’ll feel the attention slip away from themselves. They might make remarks like “ don’t bother they’ll not get any money” to get a reaction from you.
They see and learn from those around them what these emotions look like. They can engage and know what these feel like to you. They simply can not handle it within themselves.
So how did they get this way? Did they never feel any of the usual emotions in good people? Did something happen to take it away? Did someone take it away? Did they take it away from themselves?
Are we all with born with empathy, compassion, joy? Or is this is a learnt behaviour, we know we are born with an instinct to survive, we are born to scream and demand and get our needs met. So do we learn the other emotions as we grow?
So did they once have compassion, joy, love, sadness, empathy, and it was halted or stopped and didn’t develop further? Did they ever have it, to begin with?
Or have they simply created this way, created differently, so that they can achieve and climb to the top without a care of who they trample over to get what they want and get their demands and needs met. Not everyone at the top is a narcissist although they’ll have more narcissist traits. Just like not all narcissist are at the top, some don’t make it usually making them the victim narcissist. Although with all narcissist if they don’t get what they want, it’s always someone else’s fault.
As for laughter, they will laugh along with others if it’s something they’ve said to make people laugh. Again they are aware of what laughter looks like, and what it means to others, so they know how to act. They get jealous of people around them are laughing at others and not themselves; they hate seeing others get the praise they take it as criticism towards them and want it for themselves.
Have you ever been on a lovely day out, someone else’s birthday party, all is going well then out of nowhere they’ll cause an argument or a seen over nothing because they feel envy that it’s not about them, that they’re not making everybody happy this is simply done to get a reaction and emotions from you. So they themselves can gain their power back. They will not show fury or rage in the beginning or in front of others as they don’t want the mask to slip.
Now you know how they feel you know the best thing to do is simply walk away and make your life great. You can not help them. You can help you. If you’re after revenge, this is the best as they will never be able to live as you do. They can not love as you do, they hate losing attention from others, and they’ll hate not getting any reactions from you.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended Reading List.
The narcissist’s illusion.