A narcissist is a lot like a vending machine that never gets filled up.
A new shiny vending machine has been put up in a place you often visit. You go to this vending machine to see a cola you really want because you are so thirsty, so you put your money in and out comes the cola.
Time and time again, you put your money in, and the cola comes out.
Then one day you go, you can see the cola, you put your money in yet it doesn’t drop, you see the red light on for the cola so as wanted a cola. You put your money in, but it’ll not deliver, even though you can see a cola, so you assume the machine is faulty, you’re thirsty, so instead of taking your money back and walking away you accept orange, which is nice but not really what you asked for.
This happens several more times, on the odd occasion it drops a cola out, you don’t mind Orange, so when it doesn’t you accept it.
Then One day you go put your money in, and you can see the cola, you can see the orange, yet it’ll not deliver either, you press for change, but it’ll not give you change, so you accept lemonade.
This happens time and time again, but you want a drink so instead of walking away, you accept the machine is faulty and take what you’re given as sometimes it delivers what you want.
Until that day that one single day when you go to the machine, and it’s gone, and you’ve no idea what happened, but you really need a drink.
Then the next time you walk past it’s back with nice new colas, and you’re thirsty, so you put your money in and get your cola.
Go back the next time no cola, so you get orange.
Go back to no cola, no orange, so you accept lemonade. You put your money in you can see cola and Orange are in you know it’s there yet it’ll not deliver.
You go back again and put your money in all drinks are in the machine, yet it’ll not give you anything. It’ll not even give you your money back so you walk away, doubtful as you know it can deliver but you walk away, angry and annoyed that it took your money and gave you nothing back.
Then you walk back past one day just as you’d forgotten about it and it’s back again, and the cycle starts again.
Then it’s gone again.
Then you walk past another day and it’s back super shiny.
This time you’ve learned your lesson you don’t look, you don’t get your money out and you keep walking straight past with your head held high and around the corner is a new vending machine that delivers every time.
You might already know the lesson in this.
The thing is it takes two to make a relationship work, you both have to put into it, and you both take out of it. Equally.
The money is a metaphor for what you’re putting in and the vending machine is the metaphor for the narcissist. The cola is the metaphor for what the narc delivers in the first place, what they promised you, to begin with, they slowly hold back, offering you less and less until they are done.
Then they reappear offering it to you all over again, only to take it away again.
You might get what you want for a short time, but it never lasts.
It only stops once you walk away and close that door behind you.
Can you keep a narcissist happy?
The narcissists bread-crumbing.
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The narcissists counter-parenting.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
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