Overcoming Narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
A narcissist is a lot like a vending machine that never gets filled up.
A new shiny vending machine has been put up in a place you often visit, you go to this vending machine see a coke you really want because you are so thirsty, so you put your money in and out comes the coke.
Time and time again you put your money in and the coke comes out.
Then one day you go, you can see the coke, you put your money in yet it doesn’t drop, you see the red light on for coke so although you wanted coke and you put your money in it’ll not deliver, even though you can see a coke, so you assume the machine is faulty, you’re thirsty so instead of taking your money back and walking away you accept orange, which is nice but not really what you asked for.
This happens several more times, on the odd occasion it drops a coke out, you don’t mind Orange so when it doesn’t you accept it.
Then One day you go put your money in, you can see the coke you can see the orange, yet it’ll not deliver either, you press for change but it’ll not give you change so you accept lemonade.
This happened time and time again but you want a drink so instead of walking away you accept the machine is faulty and take what you’re given as sometimes it delivers what you want.
Until that day that one single day when you go to the machine and it’s gone and you’ve no idea what happened but you really need a drink.
Then the next time you walk past it’s back with nice new cokes and you’re thirsty so you put your money in and get your coke.
Go back the next time no coke so you get orange.
Go back no coke no orange so you accept lemonade. You put your money in you can see coke and Orange is in you know it’s there yet it’ll not deliver.
You go back again put your money in all drinks are in the machine, yet it’ll not give you anything. It’ll not even give you your money back so you walk away, doubtful as you know it can deliver but you walk away, angry and annoyed that it took your money and gave you nothing back.
Then you walk back past one day just as you’d forgotten about it and it’s back again and the cycle starts again.
Then it’s gone again.
Then you walk past another day it’s back super shiny.
This time you’ve learnt your lesson you don’t look, you don’t get your money out and you keep walking straight past with your head held high and around the corner is a new vending machine that delivers every time.
You might already know the lesson in this.
Thing is it takes two to make a relationship work, you both have to put into it, and you both take out of it. Equally.
The money is a metaphor for what you’re putting in and vending machine is the metaphor for the narcissist, the coke is the metaphor for what the narc delivers in the first place, what they promised you, to begin with, the slowly hold back offering you less and less until they are done.
Then they reappear offering it to you all over again, only to take it away again.
You might get what you want for a short time but it never lasts.
It only stops once you walk away and close that door behind you.