Narcissism is a personality disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. When it comes to covert narcissism in women, the tactics and mind games they use to manipulate and control others can often go unnoticed, as they present a facade of kindness and charm while subtly undermining and belittling those around them.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
One of the key traits of a covert female narcissist is their ability to act sweet on the surface. They are often skilled at presenting themselves as caring and empathetic individuals who are deeply invested in the well-being of others. This facade of sweetness allows them to easily win the trust and affection of those around them, making it easier for them to manipulate and control others without raising suspicion.
Love bombing and seduction are common tactics used by covert female narcissists to win over their targets. They will lavish their victims with attention, affection, and flattery in order to quickly build a strong emotional bond. This can often lead to a sense of dependency on the part of the victim, making it easier for the narcissist to exert control over them.
Using sexuality to charm. Covert female narcissists often use their sexuality as a tool for manipulation, charming and seducing their targets to gain control. They may use flirtatious behaviour, sexual advances, or withholding of physical affection as a means of asserting power and influence over their victims. This can leave the victim feeling confused and vulnerable as they struggle to reconcile the narcissist’s behaviour with their genuine emotions and intentions.
Weaponising sex is another tactic used by covert female narcissists to manipulate their victims. They may use sex as a tool to reward or punish their targets, using it as a means of controlling their emotions and behaviours. This can lead to a sense of confusion and insecurity, as the victim becomes unsure of where they stand in the narcissist’s eyes.
Dry begging is a subtle form of manipulation used by covert female narcissists to guilt their victims into meeting their needs. They may express their desires and wants indirectly, without directly asking for what they want. This can put the victim in a position of feeling responsible for meeting the narcissist’s needs, even when they haven’t explicitly asked for help.
Devaluation through innuendos is a common tactic employed by covert female narcissists to undermine and belittle their targets. They may use subtle and indirect criticism to chip away at their victim’s self-esteem, often disguising their hurtful remarks as jokes or innocent comments. This can lead to a sense of confusion and self-doubt on the part of the victim, as they may struggle to pinpoint the source of the narcissist’s negativity.
Intermittent reinforcement is a manipulative technique used by covert female narcissists to keep their victims hooked. They will alternate between periods of affection and coldness, leaving the victim uncertain about where they stand in the narcissist’s eyes. This can create a sense of anxiety and insecurity as the victim becomes desperate for the narcissist’s approval and affection.
Playing the victim and using weaponised incompetence is another common tactic used by covert female narcissists. They may feign helplessness and vulnerability in order to elicit sympathy and support from others. This can make it difficult for the victim to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions, as they may feel guilty for not helping or caring for the narcissist.
Willed ignorance playing dumb
Covert female narcissists often use willed ignorance to manipulate and control others. They may act oblivious to the impact of their actions or pretend to be clueless about the harm they are causing, all while continuing to engage in manipulative behaviours. This tactic allows them to escape accountability and responsibility for their actions, leaving their victims feeling helpless and invalidated.
Being there for you to play the martyr and then gossiping about you.
A common tactic of covert female narcissists is to play the martyr, portraying themselves as the selfless caregiver who is always there for others. However, behind the scenes, they may be spreading gossip and maligning the very people they claim to support. This two-faced behaviour allows them to maintain a facade of goodness while undermining and smearing their victims in the eyes of others.
Gossiping and ruining the reputation of others is a way for covert female narcissists to assert their dominance and control over their social circles. They may spread rumours and lies about their victims in order to discredit and isolate them from their friends and support networks. This can lead to a sense of isolation and ostracisation for the victim as they struggle to defend themselves against the narcissist’s attacks.
Being in a relationship with a covert female narcissist can be emotionally draining. They are often skilled at draining the energy and emotional resources of their targets, leaving them feeling exhausted and depleted. This can make it difficult for the victim to assert their own needs and boundaries, as they may feel too worn out to resist the narcissist’s manipulative tactics.
The discard phase is a common occurrence in relationships with covert female narcissists. Once they have extracted all they can from their victims, they may discard them without warning or explanation. This can leave the victim feeling abandoned and bewildered as they struggle to make sense of the sudden loss of the narcissist’s affection and attention.
Extreme pettiness is another characteristic of covert female narcissists. They may go to great lengths to exact revenge on those who have slighted or rejected them, often using subtle and underhanded tactics to undermine and discredit their victims. This can make it difficult for the victim to escape the narcissist’s control, as they may fear the repercussions of standing up to the narcissist.
Covert female narcissists often employ a range of tactics to smear the name and reputation of their victims. They may use subtle and underhanded methods to discredit and undermine their targets, often spreading lies and rumours in order to turn others against them. This can make it difficult for the victims to defend themselves as they struggle to prove their innocence in the face of the narcissist’s manipulative tactics.
Hoovering is a common tactic used by covert female narcissists to draw their victims back into their web of control. They may use flattery, promises of change, or guilt-tripping to lure their targets back into a relationship with them. This can make it difficult for the victim to break free from the narcissist’s influence, as they may feel torn between their desire for validation and approval from the narcissist and their need to protect themselves from further emotional harm.
In conclusion, the mind games of a covert female narcissist can be incredibly damaging and destructive. They are skilled at portraying themselves as kind and caring individuals while subtly undermining and manipulating those around them. It is important for potential victims to be aware of the tactics used by covert female narcissists in order to protect themselves from falling prey to their manipulative behaviours. By understanding the red flags and warning signs of covert female narcissism, individuals can better equip themselves to defend their emotional well-being and set healthy boundaries in their relationships.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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