The Narcissist’s Scapegoat: Understanding its Dynamics and Impacts.
Many psychological studies have defined and validated the existence of the narcissistic personality disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterised by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behaviour), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. One of the most significant aspects of this disorder is the narcissist’s tendency to manipulate and control those around them to maintain their perceived superiority and self-importance. One way in which narcissists maintain their facade is through the use of scapegoats.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
What is a scapegoat:
The scapegoat is a person within the narcissist’s sphere of influence who is unfairly blamed for the narcissist’s misdeeds, shortcomings, and flaws. In some cases, the scapegoat may be the narcissist’s own child, spouse, or close family member. Despite the fact that the scapegoat is often the most empathetic, kind, and rational person within the narcissist’s dynamics, they are unjustly targeted, criticised, and even abused.
Why Narcissists Need a Scapegoat:
Narcissists need a scapegoat for several reasons. Firstly, having a scapegoat enables the narcissist to deflect responsibility for their own actions and behaviours. By projecting their negative traits onto the scapegoat, the narcissist can paint themselves as a victim or martyr, thus garnering sympathy and support from others.
Additionally, the scapegoat serves as a source of narcissistic supply for the narcissist. When the narcissist criticises or belittles the scapegoat, they are able to derive a sense of power and superiority. The emotional reactions of the scapegoat, such as frustration, anger, or pain, serve as validation for the narcissist’s control and dominance.
Characteristics of a Scapegoat:
Those chosen to be a narcissist’s scapegoat often share certain characteristics. They are typically truth-seekers, individuals who challenge the false narratives and lies perpetuated by the narcissist. The scapegoat may have a strong moral compass and refuse to engage in the deceptions and manipulations of the narcissist, which causes friction within the relationship.
Furthermore, the scapegoat is often someone who is unswayed by the narcissist’s attempts to garner their loyalty and admiration. They may reject the narcissist’s false reality, refusing to provide the adoration and admiration the narcissist craves. Additionally, they may resist being used as a pawn in the narcissist’s game of manipulation.
Why someone is targeted by a narcissist to be scapegoated?
Calling the Narcissist Out
One of the key reasons why the scapegoat is targeted is their boldness in calling out the narcissist. They refuse to bow down to the narcissist’s demands and are unafraid to challenge the false narratives and distorted reality created by the narcissist. This threatens the narcissist’s carefully constructed facade and disrupts their desire for complete control.
Moreover, the scapegoat is often the only person in the narcissist’s life who dares to confront them about their toxic behaviour. This puts the narcissist on the defensive, causing them to unleash their wrath and cruelty upon the scapegoat.
Not Believing the Narcissist’s Lies
The scapegoat is also likely to be the one who sees through the narcissist’s manipulative games and refuses to accept their lies. They may have a strong intuition and are perceptive of the narcissist’s deceitful tactics, making it difficult for the narcissist to maintain their facade.
This refusal to believe the narcissist’s lies creates a significant threat to the narcissist’s sense of superiority and control. It undermines the narcissist’s ability to shape the narrative and manipulate those around them, which is why they often target the scapegoat for retribution.
How Narcissists Scapegoat:
The mechanisms through which narcissists scapegoat their targets are insidious and damaging. They use a combination of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and psychological manipulation to portray the scapegoat as the source of all problems within the relationship.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make their victims question their reality and sanity. Through denying the validity of the scapegoat’s experiences, the narcissist creates a sense of confusion and self-doubt within the scapegoat, making it easier for them to exert control.
Blame-shifting is another tactic used by narcissists to evade responsibility for their own actions. They project their faults onto the scapegoat, making them the target of criticism and judgment. This allows the narcissist to maintain their image as faultless and virtuous.
Psychological manipulation is used to break down the scapegoat’s self-esteem and confidence. The narcissist may employ tactics such as constantly criticising, belittling and demeaning the scapegoat to undermine their sense of self-worth. This makes it easier for the narcissist to exert control and dominance over their scapegoat.
The Affects on the Scapegoat:
The effects of being a scapegoat under the influence of a narcissist can be devastating. The constant criticism, blame, and manipulation inflicted by the narcissist can result in emotional trauma, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The scapegoat may feel isolated and unsupported, as the narcissist has likely alienated them from friends and family members.
Additionally, the scapegoat may struggle with a sense of confusion and self-doubt as a result of the gaslighting tactics employed by the narcissist. They may question their own experiences and perceptions, creating a deep sense of psychological distress and instability.
What Happens When the Scapegoat Leaves:
In some cases, the scapegoat may reach a breaking point and choose to leave the toxic relationship with the narcissist. This decision is often the result of realising the detrimental effects of the abuse and manipulation perpetuated by the narcissist.
Leaving the narcissistic dynamic can be a challenging and arduous process for the scapegoat. They may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and fear as they navigate the aftermath of the relationship. Additionally, the narcissist may employ various tactics to discredit and vilify the scapegoat, making it difficult for them to establish their independence.
New Target:
Once the scapegoat has left the narcissistic dynamic, the narcissist will often seek out a new target to replace them. The new target may be someone who is easily manipulated, emotionally vulnerable, or lacking in self-esteem. The narcissist will use the same tactics of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and psychological manipulation to exert their control and dominance over the new target.
Smear Campaigns:
In some cases, when the scapegoat leaves the narcissist, the narcissist may engage in a smear campaign to discredit and vilify the scapegoat. They may spread false narratives and lies to tarnish the scapegoat’s reputation, making it difficult for them to receive support and validation from others.
In conclusion, the scapegoat is a tragic victim of the narcissist’s insidious tactics and manipulations. The unrelenting abuse and gaslighting inflicted by the narcissist can lead to severe emotional and psychological trauma. Understanding the dynamics of the narcissist’s scapegoat is crucial in recognising and addressing the covert abuse perpetuated by narcissists.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
The Narcissist & Their Scapegoat. (Narcissist Personality Disorder.)
