Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Their behaviour can be toxic and damaging to those around them, especially when they feel threatened or challenged. When faced with situations or actions that threaten their inflated self-image, narcissists often resort to punishment as a means of regaining control and asserting their dominance. In this article, we will explore the things that narcissists hate being done to them, and how they use these same things against others as a form of punishment.
- Being Compared to Others:
One of the things that narcissists despise the most is being compared to others, especially when it comes to their achievements, talents, or success. Narcissists have a deep-rooted need to be seen as superior and exceptional, and any comparison to others threatens their fragile ego. They often respond to being compared by belittling or criticising the person making the comparison or by finding ways to devalue the accomplishments of others.
In turn, when they feel threatened or challenged, narcissists will go to great lengths to compare and undermine the achievements of those around them. They may engage in one-upmanship, constantly trying to outshine others, or they may dismiss or belittle the accomplishments of others in order to assert their own superiority.
For example, if a narcissist’s partner receives recognition for their work or accomplishments, the narcissist may downplay their partner’s success or try to take credit for it themselves. This can create a toxic environment where the achievements of others are constantly overshadowed and devalued.
- Criticism:
Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of criticism, as it challenges their belief in their own perfection and superiority. They have an overwhelming need for constant praise and admiration, and any form of criticism is seen as a direct attack on their sense of self-worth.
When confronted with criticism, narcissists often become defensive, hostile, or dismissive. They may resort to gaslighting, shifting the blame onto the person offering the criticism, or using emotional manipulation to invalidate the critique.
In order to punish others, narcissists may use criticism as a weapon, constantly finding fault and nitpicking at the smallest mistakes or imperfections. They may use criticism as a means of control, undermining the confidence and self-esteem of those around them in order to assert their dominance.
- Rejection:
Narcissists cannot tolerate being rejected or ignored, as it is a direct threat to their need for constant attention and admiration. They thrive on the validation and approval of others, and any form of rejection is perceived as a personal attack.
When faced with rejection, narcissists may react with rage, manipulation, or emotional blackmail in order to regain control and force compliance. They may use guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive behaviour, or grand gestures to elicit a response and re-establish their dominance.
In turn, narcissists often use rejection as a means of punishment, withdrawing affection, attention, or support in order to manipulate and control others. They may use the silent treatment, withholding communication or affection as a form of punishment, or they may threaten to abandon or replace their partners in order to assert their power.
- Disapproval:
Similar to criticism, narcissists cannot handle disapproval or disagreement, as it challenges their belief in their own infallibility. They require constant validation and agreement, and any form of disapproval is seen as an affront to their sense of self-worth.
When faced with disapproval, narcissists may react with anger, manipulation, or emotional coercion in order to silence dissent and force compliance. They may use guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or gaslighting to undermine the validity of the disapproval and assert their own dominance.
In order to punish others, narcissists may use disapproval as a means of control, constantly undermining and dismissing the opinions and choices of those around them. They may use emotional manipulation and gaslighting to make others doubt their own judgment and decisions, or they may use invalidation and dismissal to assert their own superiority.
- Exposure:
Narcissists have a deep fear of exposure, as it threatens their carefully constructed facade of perfection and superiority. They go to great lengths to maintain a polished image and hide their flaws and insecurities from others.
When faced with exposure, narcissists may react with rage, manipulation, or sabotage in order to protect their image and maintain control. They may use gaslighting, emotional manipulation, or even threats in order to silence and discredit those seeking to expose the truth.
In turn, narcissists often use exposure as a means of punishment, using information or secrets against others in order to manipulate and control them. They may use threats of revealing embarrassing or damaging information, or they may use emotional coercion and blackmail to keep others in line.
- Loss of Control:
Narcissists cannot handle losing control, as it threatens their need for dominance and power. They require constant obedience and compliance, and any form of resistance is seen as a direct challenge to their authority.
When faced with a loss of control, narcissists may react with rage, manipulation, or intimidation in order to regain dominance and force compliance. They may use threats, emotional coercion, or even physical violence in order to assert their power and control.
In order to punish others, narcissists may use a loss of control as a means of manipulation and domination. They may use emotional coercion, threats, or intimidation in order to force compliance and obedience, or they may use passive-aggressive behaviour, manipulation, and sabotage to undermine the autonomy and independence of others.
- Not Feeding Their Ego:
Narcissists have an insatiable need for attention, praise, and admiration, and not having their ego constantly stroked can be perceived as a direct insult to their sense of self-worth. They require constant validation and approval, and any form of neglect is seen as a personal attack.
When faced with a lack of validation, narcissists may react with rage, manipulation, or emotional manipulation in order to elicit a response and regain their sense of self-importance. They may use guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive behaviour, or even grand gestures to force compliance and attention.
In turn, narcissists often use a lack of validation as a means of punishment, withholding attention, affection, or support in order to manipulate and control others. They may use the silent treatment, emotional neglect, or dismissive behaviour in order to elicit a response and assert their power and control.
- Abandonment:
Narcissists cannot tolerate being abandoned or replaced, as it is a direct threat to their need for constant attention and validation. They require unwavering loyalty and devotion, and any form of rejection is seen as a personal attack on their sense of self-worth.
When faced with abandonment, narcissists may react with rage, manipulation, or emotional coercion in order to regain control and force compliance. They may use guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or grand gestures to elicit a response and re-establish their dominance.
In turn, narcissists often use threats of abandonment as a means of punishment, using the fear of being replaced or abandoned as a weapon to manipulate and control others. They may use emotional coercion, threats, or intimidation in order to force compliance and obedience, or they may use passive-aggressive behaviour, manipulation, and sabotage to undermine the autonomy and independence of others.
In conclusion, narcissists have a deep-seated fear of being compared, criticised, rejected, disapproved, exposed, losing control, not having their ego fed, and being abandoned. When faced with these threats to their inflated self-image, narcissists often resort to punishment as a means of regaining control and asserting their dominance. They use manipulation, emotional coercion, gaslighting, and intimidation to punish and control others, constantly seeking to maintain their sense of superiority and power. It is important for those in relationships with narcissists to recognise these behaviours and seek support in setting healthy boundaries and protecting their own well-being.
The impact of narcissistic behaviour on their victims is significant and damaging. It can lead to emotional, psychological, and even physical harm. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience a loss of self-worth, anxiety, depression, and feelings of powerlessness. The constant manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional coercion can leave lasting scars on their mental and emotional well-being.
Being constantly compared, criticised, rejected, or disapproved by a narcissist can erode the victim’s self-esteem and confidence. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy, as they are constantly made to feel like they are not good enough or that their opinions and choices are invalid. The fear of exposure and the threat of abandonment can create anxiety and a constant sense of insecurity, as victims may feel like they have to constantly cater to the needs and demands of the narcissist in order to avoid punishment.
The loss of control and lack of validation can also be incredibly damaging to their sense of self. Victims may feel like they have no independence in the relationship, as the narcissist seeks to constantly assert their power and dominance. This can lead to feelings of helplessness and a lack of self-confidence, as they are made to feel like they have to constantly cater to the whims and desires of the narcissist in order to avoid punishment.
Furthermore, the emotional and psychological manipulation used by narcissists can leave their victims feeling confused, invalidated, and isolated. Gaslighting, in particular, can make the victim doubt their own perceptions and reality, leading to feelings of madness and a loss of trust in their own judgment. It can also lead to a sense of isolation, as the victim may feel like they have no one to turn to or confide in about the abuse they are experiencing.
In more extreme cases, narcissistic behaviour can lead to physical harm, as the narcissist may resort to intimidation, threats, and even violence in order to assert their dominance and control. This can lead to a cycle of abuse where the victim feels trapped and unable to escape the toxic dynamic.
Overall, the impact of narcissistic behaviour on their victims is pervasive and insidious. It can lead to a wide range of emotional and psychological issues, as well as physical harm. It is important for those in relationships with narcissists to seek support and to recognise the abusive behaviours for what they are, in order to protect their own well-being and seek ways to establish healthy boundaries or leave the toxic relationship altogether.
Here are some self-help protective steps when dealing with narcissists behaving like this:
- Establish and enforce boundaries: It is essential to set clear boundaries with narcissists and stick to them. This may involve limiting contact, refusing to engage in behaviours that enable their toxic behaviour, and seeking support from friends, family, or professionals in maintaining these boundaries.
- Practice self-care: It’s important to prioritise your own well-being and mental health when dealing with a narcissist. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-care and self-compassion, and seek support from others who understand the challenges you are facing.
- Seek professional help: If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be beneficial to seek the support of a therapist or counsellor. They can provide you with strategies for managing the impact of the narcissist’s behaviour on your mental and emotional well-being and help you to develop coping mechanisms for dealing with their toxic behaviour. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
- Educate yourself: Understanding the behaviour and traits of narcissists can help you to better navigate your interactions with them. Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder and the impact it can have on relationships, and seek out resources and support from organisations and communities that focus on supporting those affected by narcissistic abuse.
- Surround yourself with support: Having a strong support system is crucial when dealing with a narcissist. Seek out friends and family members who can provide you with emotional support, understanding, and validation. Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can also be helpful in feeling less alone and gaining insight and support.
- Focus on what you can control: It’s important to recognise that you cannot change the narcissist’s behaviour, but you can change how you respond to it. Focus on what you can control, such as setting boundaries, prioritising your well-being, and seeking support, rather than trying to change the narcissist.
- Maintain perspective: Remember that the behaviour of the narcissist is a reflection of their own insecurities and issues, and is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Keep this perspective in mind when dealing with their behaviour, and work on building your own self-esteem and self-worth.
In conclusion, dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and draining, but by implementing these self-help protective steps, you can better protect yourself and your well-being. It’s important to prioritise your mental and emotional health, seek support, and establish healthy boundaries when dealing with narcissistic behaviour. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
9 Things That Hurt A Narcissist That They’ll Do To Punish You | Narcissistic Behaviour
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
