The Narcissist’s Strange Behaviours Around Special Occasions: Unveiling the Hidden Manipulation.
Why Narcissists Ruin Special Occasions.
Special occasions are meant to be joyous and memorable events where friends and family come together to celebrate and create lasting memories. However, if a narcissist is present, these special occasions can quickly turn into a minefield of manipulation, drama, and disappointment. Narcissists have a knack for ruining these cherished events, and their peculiar behaviour can leave the people around them feeling confused, hurt, and even traumatised. In this article, we will explore some of the narcissist’s bizarre actions around special occasions.
- Promising to Go and Then Being a No-Show.
Narcissists often enjoy the feeling of control and power they gain by making promises they have no intention of keeping. They may enthusiastically claim they will attend a special occasion and build up the anticipation, only to abruptly cancel at the last moment. By doing this, narcissists assert their dominance, leaving others feeling let down and unimportant.
- Turning Up Late
Arriving fashionably late might be acceptable in some situations, but for a narcissist, it is a manipulative tactic. By arriving late to a special occasion, the narcissist ensures all eyes are on them upon their entrance, generating a sense of superiority and grandiosity. Additionally, their late arrival often disrupts the planned schedule, creating chaos and further fueling their need for attention.
- Buying Gifts That Are for Themselves
Narcissists can turn gift-giving into a self-serving act. They may purchase presents for others, but these gifts are usually a reflection of their own desires and interests. For example, if you mention your love for reading, a narcissist might give you a book on a topic they are interested in, completely disregarding your preferences. This behaviour reflects their self-centeredness and the need to manipulate gift-giving to revolve around them.
- Buying You Things for Their Hobbies and Going Without You.
A narcissist might buy you tickets to a concert or an event related to their hobbies and claim it is a gesture to spend quality time with you. However, when the day arrives, they conveniently forget their promise and attend the event alone or with someone else. This manipulation tactic serves two purposes: asserting their control over your time and interests while still appearing generous.
- Accusing You of Being Ungrateful.
No matter how sincere your appreciation for a narcissist’s gift or gesture, they will find a way to spin it negatively. They accuse you of being ungrateful, highlighting their own supposed generosity while criticising your response. This behaviour serves to chip away at your self-esteem, making you doubt your own gratitude and causing you to question your actions and emotions.
- Getting Offended When Recognizing Others.
Narcissists have an insatiable need to be the centre of attention in any situation. Therefore, when you offer congratulations or show any praise or recognition to another person during a special occasion, such as a birthday or graduation, the narcissist takes it as a personal blow. They get offended and may retaliate by belittling your efforts or achievements, thus redirecting attention back to themselves.
- Sulking at Gifts Despite Receiving Exactly What They Asked For.
Narcissists are masters at playing the victim, even on special occasions. They may sulk and act disappointed despite receiving gifts that are precisely what they requested. This behaviour serves to create tension and guilt within others, allowing the narcissist to manipulate the situation to their advantage.
- Chipping Away at You.
Special occasions often present the perfect opportunity for narcissists to chip away at your self-esteem and emotional well-being. They may make sarcastic comments about your appearance, achievements, or personal choices in front of others, intending to belittle and demean you. By doing so, the narcissist gains a sense of superiority while diminishing your self-confidence.
- Provoking Arguments Before, During, and After the Occasion.
Narcissists thrive on chaos and drama. They enjoy the power they gain by instigating arguments, especially during special occasions. By provoking conflicts, the narcissist dominates the conversation and steers attention towards themselves, ensuring that everyone is focused on their emotions and reactions.
- Falling Silent and Ignoring Others.
Silent treatment is a favoured weapon of narcissists. During special occasions, they may purposefully withdraw and ignore others, creating an uncomfortable and tense atmosphere. By doing so, the narcissist gains a sense of control and power, as everyone desperately tries to appease or understand their sudden change in behaviour.
- Interrupting People and Stealing the Limelight.
A narcissist cannot bear the thought of someone else receiving accolades or attention for too long. They will interrupt conversations and hijack the limelight, redirecting the conversation back to themselves. This behaviour is aimed at preventing others from shining and refocusing attention on the narcissist.
- Taking No Responsibility and Blaming Others for Ruining the Event.
When a special occasion turns sour due to the narcissist’s actions, they will vehemently deny any responsibility and blame others for the chaos and disappointments. They refuse to acknowledge their manipulative behaviour and instead portray themselves as innocent victims of circumstance or the actions of others.
- The Narcissist’s Happiness Has Been Restored.
Once the narcissist has brought everyone else down to their level, they often regain their happiness and satisfaction. Seeing others struggle or feel hurt by their behaviour reaffirms their sense of superiority and control. This cycle of manipulation and emotional rollercoaster perpetuates their toxic behaviour.
Self-Help Tips for Dealing with Narcissists during Special Occasions:
- Limit Contact: If possible, minimise contact with the narcissist during the event to reduce the chances of manipulation and drama.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Prioritise spending time with individuals who provide you with emotional support and understanding, helping you navigate the narcissist’s behaviour.
- Keep Perspective: Remind yourself that the narcissist’s actions are not a reflection of your worth or value. Do not allow their behaviour to undermine your self-confidence.
- Have a Plan B: Prepare alternate plans or solutions in case the narcissist’s behaviour escalates or ruins the event. This will help you regain control and salvage what you can from the occasion.
Special occasions should be a time of celebration, joy, and connection. However, when dealing with a narcissist, these events can quickly turn into a battleground of manipulation and drama. Understanding the narcissist’s strange behaviour around special occasions can help individuals prepare, set boundaries, and protect their emotional well-being. By employing self-help strategies and seeking support, it is possible to navigate these challenging situations and minimise the negative impact of the narcissist’s actions. Remember, you deserve genuine love, respect, and happiness during special occasions and every day.
The Narcissists Strange Behaviour Around Special Occasions.
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