The Narcissist’s Target: Understanding their Unhealthy Obsession with You!
Narcissists, individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder, have a well-known reputation for their excessive need for attention, lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement. In this article, we will delve into the reasons why narcissists become obsessed with certain individuals, the characteristics that trigger this obsession, and the tactics they employ to control and destroy their targets. By understanding their unhealthy obsession, we can better equip ourselves to recognise and protect against their manipulations.
Characteristics of a Narcissist:
To comprehend why narcissists become fixated on specific individuals, we must first explore their defining characteristics. Narcissists exhibit traits such as excessive attention-seeking, a sense of entitlement, exploitative behaviour, a lack of empathy, and a belief that they have a right to others. These characteristics establish the foundation for their obsession with certain individuals who possess qualities or achievements that they find desirable.
Reasons for Narcissistic Obsession:
- Triggering Envy:
One of the primary reasons narcissists become obsessed with someone is triggering their envy. If an individual possesses a quality or achievement that the narcissist desires, they may develop an intense fixation on that person. This obsession can manifest in two ways: attempting to associate themselves with the person to enhance their own image or resenting the person and seeking to destroy their success or reputation. - Seeking Attention and Validation:
Narcissists crave constant attention and validation. When their chosen target begins to receive an abundance of attention, praise, or recognition, the narcissist becomes envious and threatened. In an attempt to divert attention away from the target, they may engage in smear campaigns to tarnish their reputation and undermine their achievements. - Fear of Losing Control:
Narcissists fear losing control over others, as it threatens their carefully constructed ego. When confronted by individuals who refuse to play their manipulative games or challenge their authority, the narcissist’s fear of abandonment becomes heightened. This fear can lead to an obsession with winning back the target’s approval or, alternatively, relentlessly smearing their name to destroy them and shift blame onto the target. - Attracted to Assertive Individuals:
Narcissists are often drawn to assertive individuals who exude confidence and strength. Instead of admiring these qualities, the narcissist perceives them as a challenge or a threat to their inflated self-esteem. They may engage in tactics to claim that something is wrong with the assertive target, thereby shifting attention away from their insecurities. - Need for Rescuing:
Narcissists often seek out individuals who are in need of rescuing or support. By helping others, they derive a sense of superiority and elevate their self-worth. However, their support is conditional, and once the narcissist feels better about themselves, they may discard or devalue the person they once “rescued.” - Envy of Happy Individuals:
Individuals who are happily living their lives and experiencing genuine happiness become prime targets for narcissistic obsession. The narcissist resents and believes that they deserve the same level of happiness, leading them to attempt to undermine the happiness of others through manipulation and destruction. - Rejection and Grandiosity:
For narcissists, rejection is unacceptable. When someone dares to reject their grandiose facade, they experience a deep offence. The rejection challenges their inflated sense of self-worth, causing them to become obsessed with winning back the target or seeking revenge by destroying their reputation.
Understanding the reasons behind a narcissist’s unhealthy obsession with a particular individual is crucial for safeguarding ourselves against their manipulations. By recognising the characteristics and triggers that fuel their obsession, we can better protect our own well-being and avoid falling victim to their destructive behaviour. Remember, it is essential to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with narcissistic individuals to preserve our own mental and emotional health.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
