How a Narcissist Might React When You’ve Had Enough of Them and How a Victim Might React to the Narcissist’s Discard.
Narcissism, a personality disorder characterised by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, can have profound effects on the individuals involved in relationships with narcissists. When the narcissist’s victim decides they have had enough and can no longer tolerate the toxic behaviour, the narcissist’s reaction can vary, ranging from blaming the victim to pretending to move on. On the other hand, the victim’s response to the narcissist’s discard may include feelings of disgust, disrespect, and a desire to distance oneself from the narcissist.
Furthermore, a narcissist may react with disgust and disrespect towards the victim when they realise that they can no longer manipulate or control them. This response is often a result of the narcissist feeling threatened by the victim’s newfound assertiveness and independence. In order to preserve their ego and maintain a position of superiority, the narcissist may resort to belittling, gaslighting, or even engaging in overtly abusive behaviour. This deplorable treatment can be deeply hurtful to the victim and reinforces their decision to distance themselves from the narcissist.
When a victim expresses their discontent and establishes boundaries, a narcissist is likely to exhibit behaviours aimed at deflecting responsibility for their actions. As a defence mechanism, they often resort to victim-blaming, shifting the responsibility onto the person they have mistreated. By doing so, the narcissist denies any wrongdoing and attempts to manipulate the victim into doubting their own experiences and emotions. This tactic can be especially damaging to the victim’s self-esteem and emotional well-being, as they may start questioning their perception of reality and internalise the blame placed upon them.
In contrast to the narcissist’s attempts to discredit and diminish the victim, the victim may respond with a similar sense of disgust and disrespect towards the narcissist. Having endured emotional abuse and manipulative tactics, the victim begins to recognise the toxic patterns of the narcissist. As the victim gains clarity, they acquire a greater understanding of their own worth and recognise the destructive nature of the relationship. Consequently, they often develop a sense of repulsion towards the narcissist and the behavior that led to their own suffering.
Moreover, when a narcissist pretends to move on to maintain their facade of superiority, the victim may also decide to move on but for entirely different reasons. While the narcissist feigns detachment as a means of asserting control and seeking attention, the victim’s decision to move on stems from their desire to heal and rebuild their life free from the toxicity. By consciously choosing to leave the narcissist behind, the victim takes a definitive step towards their own personal growth and emotional well-being.
Creating distance is another common response in the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship. Often, when the victim recognises the harm caused by the narcissist’s actions and realises the need to prioritise their own well-being, they establish boundaries and create emotional and physical distance from the narcissist. This distance serves as a protective measure, shielding the victim from further abuse and allowing them the space to heal and regain a sense of self.
Additionally, a common tactic employed by a narcissist after discard is to smear the victim’s name, making false accusations and spreading falsehoods to tarnish their reputation. In response, the victim may choose to take a different approach, one rooted in truth and the desire to seek closure. By telling people what truly happened, the victim hopes to reclaim their narrative and shed light on the reality of the abusive relationship they experienced. This act of standing up for oneself is empowering and can contribute to the victim’s healing process.
In many cases, a significant turning point occurs when the narcissist treats the victim as a stranger, ultimately creating the final vantage point for the victim to break free from the toxic dynamics. As the narcissist devalues and disengages from the victim, the victim’s interest in the narcissist wanes, paving the way for detachment. The victim recognises the futility of engaging with someone who does not genuinely care for their well-being and acknowledges the importance of prioritising their own emotional health.
In an ultimate attempt to regain control and preserve their ego, a narcissist may resort to discarding and falling silent. This tactic is often aimed at punishing the victim for daring to stand up against the narcissist’s oppressive behaviour. In response, the victim utilises this opportunity to end the relationship definitively and initiates no contact. This intentional severing of ties allows the victim to create a new beginning, free from the manipulative influence of the narcissist.
In conclusion, the reactions of a narcissist and the victim to the acknowledgement of toxicity in the relationship and subsequent discard are often similar the intentions are often starkly different. While the narcissist attempts to absolve themselves of any blame, disrespects and disgusts the victim, pretends to move on, creates distance, smears the victim’s name, treats them as a stranger, discards and falls silent, the victim may experience similar feelings of disgust and disrespect but takes steps to recognise their worth, move on, create distance, seek truth and closure, lose interest in the narcissist, and ultimately end the relationship. These reactions highlight the power dynamics and the contrasting paths towards healing and growth taken by the narcissist and the victim.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.