The Magnetic Pull: What Narcissists Truly Seek in Relationships.

Why Narcissists Are Attracted to You?

The allure of narcissists is a complex and intricate phenomenon that has intrigued psychologists and researchers alike for decades. Whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or even professional settings, individuals with narcissistic tendencies often gravitate toward certain individuals. While it is crucial to note that not all narcissists are fundamentally attracted to the same qualities in others, there are several key reasons why they may be drawn to particular individuals. This article delves into some compelling reasons why narcissists are attracted to certain individuals, shedding light on this intriguing yet often difficult-to-navigate dynamic.

Empathetic People:

Narcissists are drawn to individuals with a high level of empathy. Empathy is a trait that allows individuals to understand and share the feelings of others genuinely. Narcissists, although they lack empathy themselves, find individuals with this trait enticing because they can exploit their empathetic tendencies for their own emotional and psychological gain. By pretending to reciprocate empathy, narcissists can manipulate these individuals into providing unwavering support, validation, and attention.

Low self-esteem:

Narcissists often seek out individuals who possess low self-esteem, lack self-confidence, or feel insecure about themselves. By targeting individuals who have a more fragile sense of self, narcissists can easily assert their influence and control. Through carefully crafted manipulation tactics, narcissists can exploit their victims’ vulnerabilities, ensuring they remain reliant on the narcissist for a sense of self-worth. This dependency reinforces the narcissist’s grandiosity and allows them to maintain dominance in the relationship.

Confident People:

Narcissists are attracted to certain individuals is that they are often confident and display traits associated with high self-esteem. Narcissists can perceive these qualities as symbols of status and superiority and are naturally drawn to individuals who reinforce their fantasy of being exceptional. Moreover, narcissists seek individuals who are readily impressed by their achievements, talents, or physical appearances. Such individuals act as an audience that feeds the narcissist’s insatiable need for constant admiration and validation.


Narcissists often possess an inherent fear of abandonment or rejection. Consequently, they are inclined to affiliate with individuals who display codependent tendencies. Codependent individuals are often inherently nurturing and may sacrifice their own well-being to maintain a sense of connection with the narcissist. By engaging with codependent individuals, narcissists can ensure a continuous and uncontested source of attention and support, effectively mitigating their fear of abandonment.

Submissive People:

Narcissists may be attracted to certain individuals because of their strong need for control. They prefer partners or friends who are compliant and submissive, allowing them to dominate various aspects of the relationship. Individuals who are agreeable and accommodating can be easily moulded to suit the narcissist’s desires, making them suitable victims for manipulation. Furthermore, the narcissist’s need for control extends to their desire to mould their victims’ perceptions, values, and beliefs, ultimately merging their identities with their own.

Kind, intelligent, creative people:

Narcissists are inherently drawn to individuals who possess specific traits such as kindness, intelligence, and creativity. Although they may not genuinely appreciate or value these qualities, they understand that these traits make them appear more appealing by association. Narcissists can exploit these individuals’ positive attributes to enhance their own self-image and charm those around them. By affiliating with individuals who possess these desirable qualities, narcissists believe they can bask in the reflected glow of their victims’ positive traits.

Those who challenge them:

Narcissists may be attracted to individuals who challenge their toxic behaviour. Although it may seem counterintuitive, narcissists are often driven toward individuals who refuse to tolerate their manipulative tactics and who set healthy boundaries. Such individuals unknowingly provide the narcissist with a challenge, often triggering a narcissistic supply dynamic. The narcissist becomes determined to assert their dominance over these individuals, converting their resistance into an opportunity to prove their superiority and regain control over the relationship.

Married People:

Married individuals often find themselves targeted by narcissists due to the potential for validation and excitement that a clandestine affair can offer. Narcissists justify their actions by perceiving their conquest of a married person as a testament to their magnetism and desirability. For the narcissist, the sense of power derived from seducing someone who is already committed can prove irresistible.

Single People:

Narcissists are drawn to single people due to their perceived independence and availability. By identifying someone who may long for companionship or a committed relationship, narcissists can employ their charisma and charm to captivate and exploit them emotionally. The lure of single individuals stems from their vulnerability to manipulation and the potential control the narcissist can exert over their lives.

People of Status:

Power and prestige possess a magnetic draw for narcissists, leading them to gravitate towards individuals of high status. Narcissists view association with prominent figures as a means to elevate their own reputation and bask in the glory and attention associated with successful individuals. Consequently, they see these individuals as an extension of their own grandiosity, further inflating their already inflated sense of self-worth.

People Who Need Rescuing:

Narcissists are often attracted to those who are emotionally vulnerable and in need of rescuing or support. Empathetic individuals who prioritise the well-being of others become magnets for narcissists. They exploit their caring nature to establish dependency, thereby fulfilling their need for control, admiration, and validation. This dependency gives narcissists a convenient position of power over the vulnerable individual’s emotional well-being.

Anyone Who Supplies the Narcissist:

Narcissists are opportunists who seek out individuals who can cater to their unending desires and demands. Whether it is financially, emotionally, or socially, narcissists target individuals who can provide the necessary resources to feed their insatiable ego. Consequently, they effortlessly attract people who offer validation, admiration, and continuous attention. These individuals are unwittingly enabling the narcissist’s behavior by supplying them with what they crave.

Who narcissists are attracted to has nothing to do with those they’re attracted to are and everything to do with the narcissist’s manipulative intentions to exploit others and get their needs met. There are no hard and fast rules, only convenience for the narcissist.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.), where you will be matched with a licensed councillor who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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