Inside the Mind of a Narcissist: Unveiling their Thinking Patterns.
Narcissism is a complex personality disorder characterised by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Understanding how a narcissist truly thinks provides valuable insights into their behaviour and helps shed light on their manipulative tactics. In this article, we will explore the inner workings of a narcissist’s mind.
The Tyranny of Power:
From an early age, narcissists learn that being stubborn or throwing fits can grant them control over others. This power dynamic becomes their method of manipulation, as it allows them to dominate and manipulate those around them. Their anger and rage become tools to force compliance and fulfil their needs, reinforcing the belief that change is unnecessary. To them, stubbornness is a strength, making them feel powerful and superior.
Narcissists tend to display emotional immaturity, often reminiscent of a toddler. They resort to tantrums as a means of getting their way, as they have never developed beyond this stage of emotional reasoning. Trying to reason with a narcissist is a futile endeavour, as their emotional intelligence remains stunted, rendering them incapable of engaging in constructive dialogue.
The Art of Deception:
Lying comes naturally to narcissists, as it has been a successful strategy for them since childhood. Honesty is seen as a liability, and lies function as a shield against perceived threats or vulnerability. Blaming others for their lies directly absolves them of any responsibility, placing the blame squarely on the victim for not being able to handle the truth. Narcissists may use their network of friends and family to spread rumours and paint a negative picture of those they wish to manipulate, further cultivating an environment of mistrust.
Promises made by a narcissist are often empty gestures used to appease their victims temporarily. They have no intention of keeping those promises, as their primary objective is to maintain control. When confronted about this, they will resort to gaslighting, denying ever having made the promise or blaming the victim for fabricating the situation. The underlying message is that the victim does not deserve fulfilment because they failed to meet the narcissist’s standards.
The Infallible Manipulator:
A narcissist has an inherent distrust of others, believing they are inherently manipulative, just like themselves. This paranoia stems from their knowledge of how they use people to fulfil their own needs. Consequently, they remain on constant guard, manipulating others to secure their own interests, assuming everyone else has the same intentions. By staying one step ahead, narcissists falsely believe they can protect themselves from being taken advantage of, disregarding any genuine care or concern others may have for them.
Dominance and Disinterest:
Empathy and genuine interest in others are foreign concepts to narcissists, as they are naturally preoccupied with their own desires. They seek attention, validation of their lies, and emotional comfort provided by others, without reciprocating those sentiments. Their interactions are transactional, driven solely by self-interest. Subconsciously, they understand that they are not capable of genuine love for themselves, and therefore, they project the same cynicism onto others.
The Need for Control:
Narcissists derive satisfaction from exerting control over others. They enjoy witnessing the helplessness and confusion of their victims during arguments, as they relish in the feeling of being right and superior. Refusing to acknowledge any opposing views, they will deny and deflect until they believe their version of events, reinforcing their sense of superiority. By making their victims feel weak, the narcissist experiences a twisted sense of power.
The Perfection Complex:
Narcissists harbour an unwavering belief in their infallibility. They refuse to acknowledge their mistakes or flaws, attributing them solely to others. It is inconceivable for them to seek help or recognise their own fallibility, as they see themselves as above ordinary matters. Mundane tasks are delegated to others, reinforcing their sense of entitlement and reinforcing their control over those deemed lesser.
The Vulnerability Paradox:
Due to a deep-rooted fear of rejection, narcissists adopt a defensive strategy to avoid being abandoned by others. They preemptively reject people before they have the chance to reject them, effectively maintaining control of the situation. This approach stems from their inability to cope with the emotional repercussions of rejection and stems from their belief that they are superior to others.
Through exploring their distorted sense of self and accompanying behaviours. By shedding light on their patterns of manipulation, lies, emotional immaturity, and control, we can begin to comprehend why narcissists operate the way they do. Although it may be challenging to sympathise with their perspective, gaining insight into their mindset can help us protect ourselves from their harmful behaviours and foster empathy for those affected by the narcissists actions.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.