Do you know those people who are just obsessed with themselves? Like, they can’t get enough of themselves? Believing they’re better than everyone else? Well, these people are often called narcissists. And guess what? They’ve got a nasty little green monster inside them called envy.
Now, envy, you might know, is when you’re jealous of someone else’s success, looks, or achievements. But when it comes to narcissists, their envy takes things up a notch. Like, imagine pouring gasoline on a fire and doubling it – that’s the level of intensity we’re talking about.
One of the main reasons narcissists envy others is because they’re constantly seeking validation, admiration, and attention. They feel entitled to being the centre of the universe, and when someone else steals their spotlight, it’s like a punch to their ginormous ego.
They simply can’t stand it when someone else is getting more praise, attention, or success than they are. It eats them up inside. They’d rather poke holes in your achievements than accept that someone else could be doing better. It’s like they see your accomplishments as a threat to their self-worth or superiority.
Narcissists have this insane need to compare themselves to others. And if they find themselves lacking in comparison, it’s like a personal affront to their delicate egos. Rather than using that comparison to motivate themselves to improve, they focus on tearing you down instead. It’s pretty messed up, right?
But here’s the thing – their envy isn’t just limited to material success or looks. It goes much deeper. They can even feel envious of things like emotional connection, genuine relationships, or even someone else’s ability to feel empathy and compassion. It’s like they crave those qualities but are utterly incapable of possessing them themselves.
Now, don’t get me wrong, not all narcissists are walking envy machines. But it’s a pretty common trait among them. It’s like they’re wired to feel inadequate and threatened all the time, constantly striving to maintain their grandiose self-image.
In a twisted way, their envy can be seen as a reflection of their deep insecurities. They’re so insecure about themselves that they can’t help but resent anyone who seems to have it all together.
So, the next time you come across a narcissist, just remember that their envy is an ugly manifestation of their own self-doubt and longing for validation. Don’t let their green-eyed monster bring you down. Keep shining, and let them wallow in their own misery! Your kindness and compassion can not save them. They have to be open and honest with themselves, which, as they perceive themselves to be perfect, they just blame you as to why they haven’t got your talent, looks, and compassion and seek to bring you down to their level.
You’ve probably heard these terms thrown around like confetti at a parade, but let me tell you, there’s a big difference between a narcissist’s envy and healthy jealousy. So, let’s break it down and make sense of this.
First things first, envy. Picture a narcissist strutting around like a peacock, unable to handle someone else’s success or good fortune. That envy bubbling inside them is like a ticking time bomb. It’s an unhealthy, consuming emotion that stems from their sheer self-obsession, making them resentful towards others who have what they don’t. Narcissists can’t stand the idea of someone outshining them or getting more praise, so they’ll lose their cool faster than ice cream melting on a hot summer day.
On the other hand, we’ve got healthy jealousy. Now, jealousy isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite healthy and reasonable. Let’s say you’re in a romantic relationship, feeling a tad jealous when your partner spends more time with a coworker than with you. That’s normal! It’s a natural response to feeling a bit left out, and it usually stems from a desire to protect the relationship. Healthy jealousy is all about setting boundaries and communicating your needs without going all Godzilla on the situation.
So, what’s the key difference between these two emotional beasts? Well, it all boils down to motivation and perspective. Envy in a narcissist is fueled by their insatiable need for attention, validation, and to always be on top. They’re stuck in a never-ending competition, and when someone surpasses them, BAM, the green monster, takes over. Healthy jealousy, on the other hand, stems from a genuine concern or fear of losing something important. It’s less about being a self-centred maniac and more about ensuring the stability and trust in a relationship or personal bond.
I’m not saying jealousy is always a walk in the park, nor am I defending narcissists’ envious tendencies. It can be a real pain in the bee hind, driving people to do crazy things. But understanding the difference can save you from going nuts when you find yourself grappling with these emotions.
So, next time you’re feeling a twinge of envy or jealousy, take a step back and ask yourself – am I acting like a narcissistic diva, or am I just genuinely concerned? It might just keep you from turning into that green-eyed monster!
We all know those individuals who seem to have a particular knack for envy, right? They can’t help but feel a pang of bitterness when they witness others thriving in different aspects of life. So, let’s dive into the seven things narcissists just can’t help but envy, why they do so, and examples of their envy-fueled behaviour.
- Others’ achievements: We all have that one friend who always manages to snag the spotlight with their accomplishments. Whether landing a dream job, receiving an award, or simply achieving personal goals, most genuine people can be pleased for their friends and work to achieve something for themselves. Narcissists can’t help but feel envious, believing their friends have stolen something from them. They crave recognition and admiration, and when someone else outshines them, their envy shows its ugly face. You might witness a narcissist belittling the achievements of others, sabotaging their success, or even trying to overshadow them with their own accomplishments.
- Others’ material possessions: Ah, the ever-tantalizing world of possessions. From that shiny new car to the cosy penthouse apartment, narcissists just can’t resist a bout of envy when it comes to material wealth. They crave status and the outward appearance of success, so seeing someone else flaunt their riches stirs up their envy. You might spot a narcissist constantly comparing themselves to others in terms of what they own, finding any opportunity to show off their own belongings, or even attempting to devalue someone else’s possessions to boost their own inflated egos.
- Other people’s relationships: Love and affection are some of the most cherished aspects of life, and narcissists crave them like nobody’s business. So, when they witness someone else revelling in a happy, healthy relationship, their envy rears its head. They long to be loved and admired by others, so witnessing deep connections between individuals can leave them feeling inadequate. Consequently, you might find a narcissist undermining or spreading rumours about others’ relationships, attempting to sabotage them, or even building a false narrative to make their own relationships appear superior.
- Other people’s skills (artistic, academic, or athletic): Narcissists always crave being the best at everything they do, whether it’s art, academics, or sports. So, when others excel and showcase their exceptional skills, our narcissistic friends become green with envy. They struggle to accept that somebody else might be more talented, intelligent, or athletic than them. You might observe a narcissist downplaying others’ skills, criticising their techniques, or straight out trying to outshine them with their own talent, often seeking admiration and affirmation.
- Other people’s popularity: Narcissists obsess over popularity and crave being the centre of attention. When someone else becomes the life of the party, garners the most followers on social media, or is showered with compliments and adoration, narcissists can’t help but feel envy. They desire to be adored and admired by the masses, and witnessing others steal their spotlight can be quite distressing. You might come across a narcissist downplaying someone else’s popularity, spreading rumors about them, or even attempting to edge them out of the limelight with their charisma and charm.
- Their children: The competition – their children. Narcissists can’t stand it when their offspring outshine them. They seek to belittle and criticise them so that the narcissist can reign superior. They don’t want their children to succeed unless they can take the credit for their children’s success. Some narcissists view their children as extensions of themselves and expect them to reflect their own greatness. Witnessing someone else’s child achieving remarkable things or being showered with praise can trigger intense envy within a narcissist. You might see a narcissistic parent dismiss others’ children’s achievements, undermine their capabilities, or even exploit their own children to make themselves look superior in comparison.
- Other people’s physical appearance: The somatic Narcissists are notorious for obsessing over their own physical appearance, so it’s no surprise that they can’t help but envy others’ looks. Whether it’s stunning beauty or chiselled physiques, somatic narcissists yearn to be the epitome of attractiveness. Seeing someone with desirable looks can stir up feelings of inadequacy and, you guessed it, envy. You might catch a narcissist constantly comparing themselves to others, seeking validation for their own appearance, or even attempting to devalue someone else’s physical beauty through snide remarks or backhanded compliments.
Remember, this was a glimpse into the world of narcissists, and it’s crucial to approach these situations with empathy and understanding. While their envy may seem irrational to us, it’s an inherent part of their personality, and diving deeper into their mindset can shed light on their complex behaviours.
narcissists excel at projecting their envy onto unsuspecting souls like us.
Picture this: you’re living your best life, pursuing your dreams, and radiating happiness. Suddenly, along comes a narcissist who seems hell-bent on taking the joy away. These envy projectors just can’t handle your shine, so they resort to projecting their own envy onto you. Sneaky, right?
Narcissists have a talent for spotting exceptional qualities in others, making them an easy target for their envy. They possess a deep-seated insecurity that leads them to compare themselves unfavourably to the people they envy. Consequently, they try to bring you down with their manipulative tactics, all in a desperate effort to protect their fragile ego.
Narcissists are mental health wreckers. Their jealousy-motivated games insidiously seep into our minds, damaging our mental well-being. The constant onslaught of negative vibes makes us question ourselves, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, comparing ourselves to others and a dip in self-esteem.
Recovery from the narcissist’s web is possible. Here are some handy tips to get you on track:
- Recognise the red flags: Awareness is the first step towards redemption. Educate yourself about narcissism and the warning signs. Once you spot these red flags, you can start untangling yourself from the web of jealousy.
- Surround yourself with support: Build a network of genuine, empathetic friends who can offer emotional support. Having people who truly understand and validate your experiences can counteract the negative impact of jealousy.
- Strengthen self-worth: Remember, you are an amazing individual with unique talents and strengths. Engage in activities that boost your self-confidence and remind yourself of your worth. Narcissists thrive on your insecurities, so let’s not give them the satisfaction!
- Practice self-care: Protecting your mental health is crucial during this recovery journey. Prioritise activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it’s meditation, exercise, journaling, or treating yourself to a spa day, find what works best for you and indulge in it without guilt.
- Remember to only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. You’re only in competition with yourself.
- Seek professional help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counsellor who can guide you through the healing process. They can provide valuable insights and tools to counteract the damage inflicted by narcissists. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
One last thing, let’s talk about handling jealousy—a totally normal emotion we all experience from time to time, even without the presence of narcissists. The key here is finding healthy ways to deal with it instead of letting it consume you. Here are a few pointers:
- Self-reflection: Acknowledge and explore your feelings of jealousy. Understand the underlying reasons behind it. Is it rooted in your own insecurities? Recognising the source helps you tackle the issue head-on.
- Communicate openly: If jealousy arises in your relationships, have an open and honest conversation with the person involved. Express your feelings without blaming or accusing. Healthy communication often leads to resolution and strengthened bonds. Unless you are dealing with a narcissist who will gaslight you into believing your emotional reactions to their actions are wrong to distract you from their actions, in which case stop talking and start walking, healthy boundaries around a narcissist are distance, psychological, psychological and emotional.
- Focus on gratitude: Shift your attention from what you lack to what you appreciate. Gratitude can diminish jealousy and foster positive emotions. Remember, we’re all on our unique life paths, and each journey has its own set of victories and challenges.
- Use jealousy as motivation: Instead of allowing jealousy to bring you down, channel that energy into self-improvement. Set achievable goals and work towards them. Use your jealousy as a catalyst for personal growth and success.
Narcissists might be envy projectors extraordinaire, but with a little awareness, self-care, and healthy coping strategies, you can bounce back stronger than ever. Take charge of your mental health, embrace your worth, and don’t let anyone else’s jealousy dim your shine. You’ve got this!
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
