What haunts narcissistic people, what do narcissists struggle to get over?
Narcissists have that air of arrogance, the charismatic charm, they carry a big ego, their arrogance hides their insecurities, their charismatic charm is used to gain validation, to help their ego, their grandiose sense of self-importance, and their belief that they are special, to hide their insecurities.
We all have insecurities, those things we feel inadequate about, we can all become defensive about our insecurities, however, due to a narcissists sense of entitlement, exploitative behaviour, requiring that excessive attention, with a lack of empathy, narcissists take their defence to the next level, which is often to personally attack those who dare to question them, dare to stand up to them, dare to say no to them, dare to show them indifference. So just what four things haunt a narcissistic person?
We can have all experienced a time in our lives when we have felt humiliated, when it happens it can crush us and we can feel embarrassed or ashamed, narcissists don’t get over being humiliated, they believe you’ve got one over on them, that you’ve one-upped them, and they seek to make you pay, they seek to punish you to get you back, most people can feel anger and resentment, that bitterness within to drive them to seek revenge, however, genuine people have empathy which stops them from taking things too far, narcissistic people lack empathy, which means there’s no low they won’t go to punish someone they believe to have humiliated them.
Narcissistic people find it near impossible to get over exposure, when someone exposes them for who they are. As narcissistic people spend time building up a character, a false persona to sell people an illusion, a false belief of who they are, so they can deceive people in order to exploit people so the narcissist can get their needs met and when someone outsmarts them they can’t take the blow to their ego, it crushes their belief that they are superior and that they are special and above others, they take exposure very personally as they believe you’ve turned against them, they believe they’re entitled to do as they please, exposure brings their sense of grandiosity and entitlement into question.
3. When people disagree with them.
Narcissistic people believe they are special and better than others, they believe they’re always right, so when people disagree with them, they can bring up the conversation with many different people, until they find someone to agree with them, enabling them, all those who don’t agree with them, they try to gain enablers to turn against them, gather an army of flying monkeys to attack them, or they play the victim of “oh I knew you’d take their side.” “I knew it would be my fault.” So they can gain sympathetic attention.
4. When they don’t get the attention they believe they’re entitled to.
Narcissistic people don’t get over not gaining the admiration and validation they believe they’re entitled to, the grandiose seeking their admiration and the vulnerable seeking the sympathy, narcissistic people only do for others to get the admiration and praise they believe they’re entitled to, why they often use “after all I’ve done for you.” To gaslight you. So when narcissists don’t get the validation they’re seeking from those around them, they take this personally, narcissists seek to destroy those who didn’t serve them the excessive attention they believe they’re entitled to, they seek to destroy other people’s happiness, to feel better about their own misery.
Narcissistic people are often very defensive to hide their insecurities, they seek to pull those down they believe have humiliated them, ruin those who expose them, discredit those who disagree with them, and punish those who don’t give them the attention they believe they’re entitled to, you can not win with these people, you can walk away for your own peace of mind, safety and sanity.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.