The Malignant narcissist.

What is a malignant narcissist?

The meaning of Malignant according to the dictionary -:

  • Evil in nature or effect.
  • Tending to produce death or deterioration.
  • Passionately and relentlessly aggressive.

Which sums up a malignant narcissist very well.

As far as I’m aware, The malignant Narcissist isn’t an official diagnosis. The term was coined by psychologist Erich Fromm, who was a German Jew and fled the Nazi regime and settled in the USA he describes the malignant as.

“The most severe pathology and the root of the most vicious destructiveness and inhumanity”.

The term malignant narcissist thus far does not appear in any medical diagnostic manuals. There is only one form of official diagnosis, which is Narcissist. ( or other disorders.) However, for narcissists professionals talk about different types, as they are individuals who have a disorder, they are not a disorder. There are also different levels. All are toxic. All will drain you. All are self-centred, some you can limit your time around, others it needs to be No contact. Those with a lack of empathy are those not to be trusted, as they simply do not care.

We do all have narcissism within us, and there is positive as well and negative, narcissism is different from having a narcissist personality disorder. Although those with negative narcissism, that keep going along the negative path will often get worse with age, those with self-awareness will recognise and emotions like empathy, regret, remorse and guilt, will kick in. Which most often stops people hurting others in the first place, or if they do, they are self-aware enough not to do it again and learn from mistakes, toxic people look for others to blame to escape accountability, they have little to no self-awareness and hit the repeat button, often getting worse as they blame all others for their behaviour.

The malignant narcissist, Possibly the most dangerous and harmful narcissist there is, experts see very little difference between a psychopath and a malignant narcissist, some say a malignant narcissist is a psychopath will full awareness as to what they are doing. These are the ones, you need to be exceptionally cautious and safely get far, far away from and make sure they can never find you or get hold of you.

All narcissist can be dangerous, yet malignant ones take it to the next level.

They are a true psychopath if not worse, like most narcissists they have a lack In empathy, they will commit, multiple crimes without care, including violent and sexual offences with no remorse.

Psychologists suggest malignant narcissism is an extreme mix of the narcissistic personality disorder, and other disorders such as antisocial personality disorder, sadism, aggression and paranoia. The difference between the narcissist personality disorder and the malignant narcissist is malignant will most often have a mixture of combined personality disorders, They have the narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic people can have traits of other disorders, like paranoia, yet a malignant narcissist has a paranoid personality disorder, they have the psychopath personality disorder. They also have antisocial personality disorder. Most narcissists have traits of antisocial behaviour. The malignant have the full disorder.

Signs.

1. Sadism will deliberately cause, harm, suffering, pain and distress to others, often showing hatred. They enjoy seeing people, animal, anything suffers. They will knowingly inflict pain and suffering on those around, to gain control of others, or to just feel powerful. This can be psychological pain or physical pain.

2. Antisocial behaviour, these are pathological liars, they have an unprovoked hostility and aggression. They can look for trouble, even pre-planning it. They have volatile mood swings, they cheat, steal and lie, they believe they are above the law and are extremely dangerous and toxic.

3. Manipulation, these don’t wait to see an opportunity to manipulate others, although they will use an opportunity. They actively create opportunities, they genuinely go around looking for those they can take advantage of, they plan, and they plot to win at any and all costs to those around them.

4. Paranoias, it’s not that they don’t trust those around them, because of how they think, they are extremely suspicious of all those around them, and believe all others are out to get them.

5. No empathy, none, nothing, zero, they get pleasure out of harming others, a complete lack of genuine compassion, they can act empathetically, if they have Cognitive Empathy.

6. No responsibility, although some of the malignant narcissists can actually admit wrongdoing, yet they will openly admit to other what they have done, by telling others that the person they harmed deserved it, at other times they will deny all knowledge, to what they’ve done to others.

7. Entitled, malignant narcissists have that sense of entitlement like most narcissists, they believe they are superior to others and expect to be treated that way. They believe they are entitled to do what they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want and whatever they want, as they believe they are above all others.

8. Extraordinarily arrogant and self-centred. They have a very fragile, super-sensitive ego. They need to convince all others just how special they are.

9. Envy. They hate seeing others with something they haven’t got, or something they want, most often assuming it’s down to pure luck that others have achieved.

10.. Charm, or ( superficial charm.) most narcissistic people can be charming, especially at first, as they put on that admiration face to draw people in.

11. Moods swings, unprovoked they can be extremely volatile and aggressive.

12. Exploit, they will exploit all others to get their needs met, with no thoughts or feelings to how it affects those around them.

13. Take over conversations. They can monopolies a conversation even with a large audience, often with flying monkeys and enablers in full support, and those who don’t agree with them are often too afraid to speak against them.

Things a malignant narcissist could do.

They will retaliate and humiliate.

They have the potential to destroy families, workplaces, communities, and entire nations.

They make a strong statement in how they dress whichever that is to them, some might be smart in suits high powered jobs with the homes and cars to match, some will be the gym bod in the gym gear and muscles, some will be the tough, hard, don’t mess with me look. ( people can look this way and not be narcissistic.) some can be the tattoos, the reputation, whatever it is to that individual narcissist. Malignants are big on appearance whatever that appearance is to them.

They will go to extreme means, to be the top and get the worlds attention as they believe they are entitled to the world.

They will go to great lengths to protect themselves. All narcissists are manipulative. Even people who don’t have the narcissist personality disorder can be manipulative, the malignant narcissist, however, takes manipulation to the next level, they take it to the extreme, they as most narcissists see in black and white they gain enablers or enemies along the way, they have a complete disregard for others, and simply do not care for the pain they cause to those around them, researchers say Adolf Hitler was a malignant narcissist. Look at the following he achieved, what he got others to do for him, and how many he destroyed.

They will show fake empathy to follows to protect themselves, to get followers to protect them. People either love and respect them or genuinely fear them both will carry out their demands.

They need power and control and achieve this by coming across as a great saviour to others in the beginning. They will go all out to protect their followers as this protects themselves.

They will hurt, and some will murder anyone who gets in their way.

They will tell you not to believe others, and they are just trying to split you up. They’ll manipulate you so well, you’ll believe them.

They will do things to others that are informing you to leave to maintain power over you. They are terrifying, and they will find any means possible to end your friendship with those trying to help you.

They will stop at nothing to protect what is important to them if you escape one of these, you will most often need to move miles away.

They are the least likely to attempt therapy, due to the disorder like other narcissists they do not see any fault in their actions blaming those around them for what they perceive as turning against them, or the fact they don’t see others as people having feelings as they don’t feel like others do, they see people as objects to use and abuse ad they feel, how they want and when they want, we are all individuals with different pain thresholds so what a narcissist on the low end might do could hurt someone in lesser ways. Yet, they feel the same pain as how a malignant narcissist would use sadistic means to destroy those who they perceive to go against them.

In a relationship like all narcissist they represent themselves as important, worthy of admiration and love, they might talk about those that hurt them in a way to gain sympathy. They might come across as an unfortunate individual who has been hurt.

As they present themselves as a loving, caring victim and your saviour, you will feel sorry for them. Partners will want to support them. They lie, manipulate and cheat like all other narcissists. They set it up, so you want to fight their corner and protect them. Once you are hooked, if you cross them there, psychopathy comes out, and they will do anything to protect themselves, and they will hurt you, to get their needs met. They may also get others to do this. Some will do anything to maintain their relationship with you.

Otto Krenberg, a psychoanalyst, In studies in the 1960s described a malignant narcissist was more aware of their wrongdoing than a psychopath is.

How to deal with a malignant narcissist, don’t, gather as much help and support as you can, and not from mutual friends, get to safety, no one knows what lengths any narcissist will go to if they feel criticism or wronged by anyone, so always be careful, with a malignant never let them know you know, or you’re leaving, just get out safely.

1. Seek help and support in leaving if you suspect you are dealing with a malignant narcissist.

2. Remember they will not change; they do not have the self-awareness to change; it’s who they are. Don’t try to change them for who you want them to be, or who they said they’ed be. Accepting who they are, and understanding you deserve better.

3. Have a healthy fear of them, so respect what they are capable of, and keep yourself safe, yes these people need bringing to justice, but you must be careful around them.

4. They see in extreme Black and white, and you will not win an argument or disagreement with these people, they genuinely believe they are right, and not only are you wrong, you are an enemy if you go against them, with their paranoia they will see this as you going against them and they do seek to destroy. Let them think they are right and leave them be.

5. Get support, do not be embarrassed about what you have been through you are far from alone, seeking support and talking to those who understand, helps you piece reality back together, know all those doubts, feelings, thoughts were real, that the reality you lived was real, validation that how you feel is normal, others do and have felt the same way, even those not dealing with malignant narcissists. Getting emotional support is a must also.

6. Do not isolate yourself, yes most of us like to go into hermit mode now and again, and that’s ok, but don’t stay stuck in hermit mode and don’t stay isolated.

7. Do not confront them. I’m all for justice. However, your safety comes first.

Don’t ever give up on yourself, and there is always hope. When good people come together, great things start to happen.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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