”Don’t look to those who tried to break you to heal you.”
The narcissistic personality disorder is on a spectrum, and for someone to be diagnosed by a professional as having the disorder, they would need to show at least five of the nine traits from the DMS-5, which are.
Narcissistic characteristics and their meaning, they might not show them all at the same time.
1. A sense of entitlement. They believe they have a right to anything and everything they want. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is my own attitude.
2. Arrogance and haughty behaviour. They are proud of who they are. Some will be obvious in showing it, and some will hide it away.
3. Exploitative. Whatever they do is only to ever to meet a need of their own.
4. Grandiose. If they show it or not, they believe they are superior to all others.
5. Jealous and envy. They are never truly happy and always want more.
6. Lack of empathy; they can not truly feel what others do or put themselves in other people’s shoes.
7. Preoccupied with power and success. Those who are successful will brag; those who are not will blame others.
8. Requires excessive attention. They need to be admired by others through love or fear.
9. The belief they are special. They believe all others are inferior to them.
Although those with at least five of the nine traits who have the disorder have the disorder, they are still individuals with different personality types.
Types.
- Malignant.
- Grandiose.
- Vulnerable.
- Communal.
Subtypes.
- Overt.
- Covert.
- Somatic.
- Cerebral.
As they are individuals, they can also cross over to meet a need of their own. Although a grandiose will often be dominantly grandiose, however, they will play the victim, or if they are dominantly the vulnerable victim, they can act grandiose when required. All narcissists act covertly. As covert means secret, hidden, private. The overt can usually get away with their outrageous behaviour as they believe they are special, and those around them often agree. The malignant often rules through fear or love; those who love will often unwitting enable, and those who fear will be too scared of consequences if they stand up to the malignant, so they often turn to the survival mode and Fawn to the narcissist’s demands. All manipulate as we know all too well, a narcissist will go all out in their manipulation of others through gaslighting to distort another reality, future faking, to give the victim hope, blame-shifting to avoid responsibility, projection to escape accountability and pass the blame onto another, triangulation to create doubts in those around them, isolation from any support, intimidation to put fear into those around them so the fawn and conform to the narcissists’ demands, and invalidation, to take the power of self-belief and self-worth out of good people, so they’re left full of self-blame and self-doubts.
If someone is intelligent if they are high achievers if they are preoccupied with success and like to be in control, if they believe they are special because they are intelligent. They have achieved; this alone does not make them a narcissist. If they have those things and they lack in empathy, if they exploit others, if they exaggerate achievements, and if they believe they are entitled to have or do as they please, with the above, you could be dealing with someone who’s on the spectrum, at the very least someone who’s narcissistic and not in a good way.
Cerebral vs Somatic.
A Cerebral narcissist is focused on intelligence, so their brains are their biggest power. A Somatic narcissist is focused on looks, So they get their needs met by either Using their bodies (Somatic.) or using their minds. (Cerebral.)
The cerebral narcissist.
Cerebral narcissists are often high functioning and extremely intelligent. The cerebral could possibly be one of the most dangerous, along with the malignant narcissist.
Like most narcissists, the cerebral, along with the covert, can be extremely hard to detect and even harder to get support after you’ve left as they are an extremely convincing con artists that most often have all those around them believe they are good people.
Cerebral narcissists can appear to be intelligent, sensitive and playing by the rules; they are extremely skilled in getting people to trust and like them and fitting in with those around them; they are often very energetic and in high-powered positions.
Cerebral narcissists are often like most narcissists as they like to go under the raider in society; all narcissists try to be unknown; in what they do, with the cerebral, because of their intellect, they usually manage not to be exposed. As they appear to be model citizens, they can be highly skilled at ’fitting in.’ to society’s norms, and getting those around them to trust in them, often making the cerebral narcissist hard to identify.
Cerebral is like all other types of narcissists unwillingly to take a real look at themselves or admit any wrongdoing on their part. They are often congratulated by those around them for who they are, as people don’t understand just how dangerous they can be.
The Cerebral narcissist has a lot more control over their inner rage, so these are most likely to be on the upper end of the spectrum, as they will plot more about a smart way to get those around them back rather than show rage and anger, they believe all others are incredibly envious of them. They think everyone is out to get them.
Cerebral narcissists often use their intellectual abilities and achievements to draw people in.
You may discover in conversations with them that they do hold lots of grudges, yet these narcissists are in it for the long game; they will plan and plot, and then once they have a plan, they will use that plan to get to others.
They are lacking in empathy as all other narcissists. In a relationship, they will devalue and discard. It’s hard coming out of any narcissistic relationship. These are possibly one of the hardest as you will have most likely lost all those you love to the narcissist; they rarely to never use physical violence and often seem to uphold and respect their law.
The narcissist is competitive, but this can be to the extreme. Not all competitive people are narcissistic.
In the home, you’ll notice how they have extreme double standards. They may convince partners to give up their jobs so that they feel financial powerless to leave the narcissist.
To those around the narcissist, they will they accuse the partner of being a gold digger and using the narcissist for material gain.
1. Pride and concern in achievements to excess.
They will try to pull people in through their intellect. They not only try to impress those around them with complicated words. Long, drawn-out conversations, but also to destroy anyone who dares to question their intellect or theories, they take this as severe criticism. They believe they are special and superior to those around them; they will seek to harm those who go against them.
2. Arrogant.
They are likely to come across as superior and extremely self-righteous; they struggle to have close, loving sexual relationships; like all narcissists, they are not interested in others or even listening to others; they are only interested in themselves.
They’re usually in great opposition with someone, as with all narcissists, it’s you v’s me attitude.
3. Little to no interest in sex.
A cerebral narcissist is often asexual. Although they might be attracted to another, they usually have little to no sexual desires. A cerebral narcissist often lacks sexual attraction toward people. They have very little appetite for sexual activity, which would involve another, often opting to self-masturbate.
4. Self-absorbed.
A cerebral will often show contempt to those around them, as they believe they are superior and most intelligent to those around them, and they will show disregard for others’ ideas, thoughts or feelings; however, if someone has a wise idea, the cerebral shall take this, adapt it and use it for their own.
6. Criticism.
A narcissist can not stand criticism, real or perceived. To a cerebral, if this is perceived as undermining their intellect, they can invalidate you in a moment with their words, or they often remain calm and plot your downfall.
7. Gaslighting.
Like all narcissists on the spectrum, a cerebral will gaslight those around them. Gaslighting is to psychology manipulate you into losing your reality. After a narcissist has done this, they’ll happily call you crazy for feeling all over the place due to their manipulative gaslighting behaviour. With their blame-shifting and projection, we often end up blaming ourselves and thinking we’re going crazy. You’re not the crazy one.
Click the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
The courses Elizabeth Shaw has available.
The full course.
Click here for the full course to help you understand and break free from narcissistic abuse.
The free course.
Click here to join the free starter guide to breaking free from narcissistic abuse.
Help with overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety.
Click for help overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here for more information about the narcissist personality disorder.
Recovery from narcissistic abuse and help with Co-Parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery and co-parenting with a toxic ex.
For 1-2-1 Coaching with me, email @ beyourselfagaintoday@gmail.com
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach. She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with Click here for BetterHelp. (Sponsored.) Where you will be matched with a licensed councillor who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading.
Video for mind games narcissists play.
Fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
