Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
The lies a narcissist will say about their ex-partners.
They use the ex-partners for triangulation, the narcissist tells countless lies about the ex to you. Have you heard any of these? Please add in the comments any others you heard, to help warn others.
1. The ones where they tell you the truth about what happened with the ex, they just reverse the roles and explain what’s about to happen in your future to you. All without you even knowing.
2. The narcissist could say they were trapped by the ex, and as the narcissist drip-feeds you lies of their past, with how well they are treating you during idolisation you believe the narcissist is a good person, they will say the ex trapped them, either how the narcissists ex just moved in with them and never left, or how the narcissists ex made them move in with them within not long of meeting, or the female narcissist will tell you the male ex got them pregnant. After all, the ex messed with their birth control, or the male narcissist will say the female ex became pregnant really fast, to trap them because they knew what a great parent they would be and the narcissist will claim the ex who trapped them with a baby knew the narcissist would not want to break up a family and leave the child. They will tell you just how blinded they were, but then they realised it wasn’t true love the ex just trapped them, the ex is a horrible, nasty, manipulative person. They just wanted to stand by them, but once they’d trapped them they were stuck, in reality, the narcissist will have up and left the family so many times, using the children when it suited the narcissist’s needs.
3. The narcissist might tell you. Their ex’s behaviour changed toward them. They will also say, ” there ’s nothing wrong with moving fast when you’ve met the one when you’ve found your soulmate.” because of course the narcissist, wants to move fast with you.
4. They will tell you the ex-abused them, how horrible they were, how the narcissist gave it their all and got nothing in return, from silent treatment to cheating, how the ex is obsessed with them, yes they are simply smearing the ex to you, also protecting themselves if the ex tries to warn you, as the narcissist got in their first, with how amazing they are treating you, you believe that the ex was a horrible person, so you feel sorry for the narcissist.
5. The ex is crazy. Completely of their rocker, they stalk them, will not leave them alone, got fake profiles to stalk their social media. How they will not be taking their social media down because they’re not going to let the crazy ex win, the ex follows them, waits outside their work. Comes around to the house. Drives past their home. Often this is what the narcissist is doing to the ex, and if the ex is behaving this way, the narcissist has up and left with no closure, and the ex is wanting answers, or to clear their name from the smear campaign. The narcissist might warn you that if the ex comes to talk to you, it’s all because they can not let go of the fact, that the narcissist saw them for who they were and finished with them, they have nothing, and their lives are so empty, they can not move on without them, they’ll do anything to get them back. They’ll try and split us up, when in reality the ex is trying to save you from going through all they have just lived through.
Some of the exes usually, do look and act crazy, if you’ve got out of a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll now know exactly why, and what the narcissist did you them to drive them to think and feel this way, wanting to warn you also wanting closure.
The ones to get you to change and up your game to keep them with you.
6. There’s the one when you’ve been together a while, where they tell you. They should have stayed with the ex, as the ex treated them far better than you do, the ex would have never treated them how you do, it’s all your fault, you charmed them away from the love of their lives, you trapped them. The ex, cooked better, parented better, looked better, they will tell you that they want to go back to the ex unless you try harder to be more like them.
7. That they still love the ex, that they’ve released what a massive mistake they’ve made, you’ve made them realise what true love is, and they want to leave you and be with the one they truly love.
8. The ex loves and misses them, and the ex keeps trying to get back together with them, they’ll tell you not to worry, and they will handle it because they want to be with you as you treat them so well. This is to get you to up your game and give in to their demands.
Most of us go back a few times, and they might even have one that they always go back to, and always takes them back, listen closely to the story’s they tell, watch for patterns in past behaviour and relationships.
Work on you, who you want to be, create new routines, new dreams and take those baby steps for a happier, healthier, more positive life.
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Why do they hurt people?