Overcoming Narcissist Abuse by Elizabeth Shaw.
Narcissist, stealing your trust of them, the trust of others and your self-trust.
They can do this as they chose people who do trust in themselves and others.
They chose people who operate on trust, then abuse that trust.
When someone tells you, “you’ve worked hard.” “You’ve done well.” “I like your top.” You trust them, you’ve no reason not to. You wouldn’t think twice about questioning them why.
You trust the food you buy from the shop will be edible, you trust that order you placed online will be delivered, as you’ve no reason not to, if it didn’t turn up, you may think it’s lost in the mail, check it’s not with neighbours, either way, you trust you’ll get it, if not you trust you’ll get a refund. You trust police and courts, to keep law and order.
You trust in a partner, in a relationship, to love and care about you, to not hurt you, to love with your full heart and trust completely, you go into relationships trusting them and assume they will do the same, you don’t go around suspicious of those around you, you take things at face value, this is normal human behaviour.
You are honest, you hate dishonesty, you like to know the truth. In the golden period they treat you so well, that you are conned into believing how much they love and care about, you believe they tell you the truth, you believe they are honest and open, they make you think you can trust them, they may even tell you, about how others have smashed their hearts to pieces, they know how that feels and they wouldn’t do that to anyone. They are just playing on you, to gain your trust and pretend you can trust them.
So when they start to say. “ it’s just a friend,” you trust them when they say you’re their soul mate. You trust them. when they borrow money from you, you trust they will pay you back like they said they would, when the women say they are on the pill. you trust them when they say they are working late. You trust them. When they say they’ll take care of the bills. you trust them. They can then slowly and surely shatter your trust.
Trust is valuable to use, they take it, disrespect it, stomp all over it.
If you do question them, it’s then the mind games of the silent treatment, gaslighting, blame shifting, project and so much more, leaving you with self-doubt
Then when you see what’s been happening, they will have left with no explanation and no closure, leaving a horrible pain in your heart, and horrible thoughts running through your head, that you can not escape, leaving you to deal with all the aftermath. With all that narcissist do, you’re left with no trust, within yourself and those around you.
You might feel foolish and not want to talk to others, don’t you are far from alone, with how they manipulate it’s hard to see, as they can bring that golden period back in, it’s even more difficult to see. you can and you will get your trust back, first in yourself and then in others. Be proud of yourself, for getting free.