Overcoming Anger And Resentment.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.

Overcoming any anger and resentment.

You feel angry when someone provokes you in some way, this can often lead to resentment, you have no control over someone else provoking your anger, and most narcissists are great at provoking anger and resentment in others, they know your strengths, they know your weaknesses, they know your insecurities and most will stop at nothing to use each and every one against you. The narcissist will find your most significant wound and rip them wide open, to provoke that anger within you, to get reactions from you, so they can then blame it all on you. We all have things that can make us angry, and it’s a normal human response to certain situations, how we handle that anger, is how we claim control back of our thoughts, our feelings, and our lives.

How do you handle that anger? Do you start an argument? Seek revenge? Do you react to it?

When you react, it gives you a moments release, yet this is often only ever temporary, and then you end up feeling bad for reacting and blame yourself.

When you argue with a narcissist, they will twist the story, take you off-topic and often leave you with nothing resolved and full of self-blame and self-doubt.

When we seek revenge against others, we are the ones left feeling bad; the best attack is healing and moving on with our lives finding our happiness and leaving them in the past with all their negativity.

You can not help them; some people don’t want to be supported no matter how much they ask, some people don’t want to change no matter how many times they say they will, some people will always be stuck on that pattern of repeat, you are not that person.

You can not change them. It’s a tough enough job changing ourselves; only they can change if they ever wish to do so.

When someone tries to provoke you, always remember, retreat, rethink and only respond if you need to do so.

So now you may have learned not to react or to seek revenge when they pull a new stunt, that causes you to feel angry, you can not control what they do, you can control how long you hold onto that anger and how you let it affect you.

You go through three emotional feelings when people provoke you in any way, first is the anger when they provoke you. Then comes the rage when you want to react, then if you react comes to the resentment as you feel bad for how you reacted or held onto that anger.

When you understand they have a disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, you start to take a step back and reevaluate your perspective on it, they don’t have the emotional intelligence to think or feel like others do, they live in constant fear, and fear holds them back, that others will view them for who they indeed are, they act out to make you fear them, and with that fear they keep control over you, they do not have the capacity to put themselves in other shoes, they are quite foolish as they can not find their inner happiness, and have to destroy others, when you realise this then you will start to pity them, you’ll want them nowhere near you. But most get to a point you feel sorry for them.

The A teams great MR T “I pity the fool.”

A Definition of “Pity” Merrian-Webster defines pity as “sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy.”

When you pity someone, you lose the anger, you no longer feel the need to react, and you no longer hold the resentment.

You can not control what someone says to you or does to you, but you can always take control of your reactions, it takes work at first, but it becomes easier, and you can hit that point if you have a wish and have the drive to do so.

How to not react? Remember, it will never hurt the other person as much as it hurts you.

How to lose the resentment? Keeping the thought in your mind that, when you keep hold of all that resentment, you’re allowing someone to live in your mind without paying any rent. Use pattern interrupt and shift them straight back out of your headspace.

There is nothing wrong with anger, and it’s a human reaction when you’re provoked, served to actually protect you, when you react. However, you often feel guilt, shame or resentment for how you reacted, which last a lot longer than that temporary relief from reactions. Narcissists live with that inner shame on a daily basis, why they must project onto others, gain the reaction, blame others for reacting thus removing the guilt from themselves, yet it’s only a temporary fix.

Living with those negative emotions daily delivers us a negative life, we can learn to shift that, live to find the things to be grateful for, live for joy and live a much happier life.

Don’t feel guilty when you feel angry, just process that anger the right way.

They can not fix who they are, and you can not fix who they are. You can, however, fix how you feel, for a far happier more full filling life.

It all takes time, it takes work, and it takes effort if you keep going with a mindset of where you want to be you will get there, have a belief in you.

Always be cautious about the narcissists. Do not ever stop living how you want because of them, but if you fail to prepare, then prepare to fail, so always keep your awareness up and stay safe, most will not act out, but you do need to be vigilant around those with no empathy.

Remember as soon as you start to feel that anger rise within you, stop and find something to be grateful for, to be happy about, sometimes that makes you proud, or makes you laugh, or hold your head high tell yourself. ”I’m not feeling that way.” and smile, it’s hard to feel anger when we all looking at things that make us smile, or think of something you want to create in your future, it’s hard to feel resentment from the past when we are looking forward to a happier future.

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free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.

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Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.

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All about the narcissist Online course.

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Pattern interrupt.

Overcoming insecurities.

Don’t argue with a narcissist.

Forgivness Is Always For Your Own Peace Of Mind.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.

Can you forgive a narcissist for everything they put you through?

Do you want to forgive them and move forward with your own life?

You are an individual, first of all, forgiveness is for yourself, you have to forgive your own mistakes before you forgive the other party, don’t forget them, learn from them and take those lessons with you, you never know when you might need them.

How, do you forgive someone who’s not even sorry? How do you forgive someone who hurt you so much and continues to try to do so?

You are an individual, if you want to forgive them or not is up to you, again forgiving them, is not for them, you can not tell them you forgive them, they don’t see themselves as the problem, you forgive them for you. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t make their actions towards you right, forgive them for you, let them go their own path in life without you, while you move forward in your future much happier without them.

When you spend your life holding grudges against you, that did you wrong, it can keep you locked in that negative mindset and the past, forgiveness is always for you to move on and create a better future for yourself, when we don’t forgive, they still have a hold over our thinking, when we forgive those who seek to harm us, they no longer have any control over us, when we can learn to no longer care about the things they did to us, it releases the pain of our past hurts, so we can heal and move on, is it easy? Not always. So we want to? Not all of us. Is forgiveness worth it? Yes.

You can not forgive what you don’t understand, understanding what makes narcissists do what they do, it will never excuse their abusive ways towards others, forgiveness doesn’t mean they are not accountable for their actions, even if they don’t see that they are. When you understand they have a personality disorder, when you understand something made them that way, and they can not change, when you understand they have a problem, they have an addiction, that even most of them do not understand.

You will understand that they are broken and they can not be fixed, as you’ve probably tried time and time again to help them. You can not expect your broken mobile phone to work like a fully functioning mobile phone. Once you understand they are broken, you adjust your expectations of them, what they are and are not capable of doing and understanding within themselves.

When you understand the narcissists level of capacity for understanding, when you learn not everyone has the capability to change, the capacity to love or be loved, the capacity to have empathy for others, that not everyone has the capacity to understand their faults and to take action to change them.

When you expect someone to love others who are incapable of love, you will be the one that’s frustrated for the rest of your life, so you have to understand, they are incapable of loving themselves as they do not know who they indeed are, they are incapable of loving others and they are incapable of caring for others.

They can only fake it, and that falseness cannot last, for something to last it needs to me meant.

When you expect someone to take on board your thoughts and your feeling which they can not even understand their own, when you expect someone to think on a gallon level but only have the capacity to think on a pint level, you will be frustrated for the rest of your life.

When you understand them for who they are, forgive them for not being able to do anything about it, forgive your self for not understanding, then you can move forward with your own life of inner peace and happiness, you can, if you want to build yourself back up. Be the bigger person, be happy, something you have to understand they will never be able to do. Forgiveness is for you, and only you. As to a narcissist, they will never be the problem.

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https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/break-free-from-the-narcissist/?preview=

free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/kick-start-breaking-free-from-the-narcissist/?preview=

Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/break-free-from-the-narcissist2/?preview=

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Overcoming guilt.

The Female Narcissist Friend.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.

All relationships are about to give and take; sometimes it might be 50/50 and others 90/10 depending on if one is more at need at any given time, then it might go to 40/60 and 10/90 or back to 50/50 etc.

Most people do have narcissistic traits, that doesn’t make people a narcissist. So if your friend meets someone, you might see less of them for a while, yet if you were in need, they would be there for you, mutual respect and understanding of each other’s needs. Most friendships survive the odd disagreement or misunderstanding, and healthy friendships understand that, jobs, family and life, can sometimes get in the way, yet even if you’ve been busy for weeks or months without each other when all is going well, you know you could call them in an emergency, and they’d be there as would you them, the give and take, you might often think of each other, meaning to send that message, yet for whatever reason you don’t at that moment, and the next time you remember it’s late at night. Or you might spend most days or weeks together. However, it is, there is that give and take.

Signs of a female narcissist friend.

Female narcissists lack empathy, believe they are entitled and manipulate to exploit others to meet their own needs.

Deep down all Narcissists have an extremely low to possibly even no sense of authentic self, they are often very envious people, they have very fragile egos and are insecure, so they have to mask all of this, by playing victim or being grandiose, covert or overt narcissist, It’s all an act to cover up how damaged they genuinely are and how envious they are of those around them, it’s all a defence mechanism. It’s nothing to do with you, and it is not anything you have done, they have a disorder it’s who they are, the disorder is a reason behind their behaviour, it’s never an excuse to be abusive towards others.

The female friend will use manipulation, and gaslighting, they’ll be charming, they’ll raise you up, they’ll be your soulmate, as we do have many ’soulmates’, a soulmate isn’t just a lover they are people you connect with and have a deeper understanding of each other, unfortunately a narcissist is a con artist so they will match all your likes and dislikes in the idolisation stage, then once you genuinely, love, care and respect them, they’ll deliver you a nightmare and take you for all that you are and all that you have, devaluing you with lies, intimidation and invalidating your opinions, your beliefs, how you dress, what you are capable of or they will put you down and say things like ” I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” or ” I don’t think they like you in that way.” or ”you can not do that.” often then as you pull away they’ll offer that idolisation stage back, so you doubt your instincts, and if you question them like most narcissists it’ll be things like. ”you misunderstood me, it wasn’t like that.” or ” I was just thinking of you.” then words like ”why are you so sensitive.”

The female will most often be obsessed with achievements, status and money, they often want to be successful, although not all are, and those who are not successful, will play the woe is me. ”if only they.” or ”if only you.” always blaming those around them and never looking at their authentic selves. Whatever they have, it’s never enough, and they always want more to try and fill a void they never can, as they are filling it in the wrong way.

They often like to spend money theirs or not, not all, but most female narcissists want to hook up with someone who has money, be it a partner or friend.

Females want to brag and flaunt, everything they’re getting from their male partner. Brag about anything new they have, and put down anything you have achieved.

Most female narcissists want to be the centre of attention, due to needing to feel validated and cover up their low self-esteem. If that’s getting attention by being superior or playing the victim and requiring support, now good people can do well for themselves and if they don’t have at least five of these characteristics they are not a narcissist, or if they need support from a traumatic past if they don’t have at least five, they do possibly just need gentle guidance. The main things to look out for are. Do they lack genuine empathy? Do they exploit others, do they believe that they are indeed entitled, whether they have earned it or not.

1. Exaggerating achievements and talents.

2. Preoccupied with ultimate success. Lives in a fantasy world of power, control, dominance, brilliance.

3. Superiority. Believing they are special and above all others.

4. Entitled. Feels entitled to have all their own needs met, demanding, manipulative and controlling.

5. Excessive admiration. A constant need for excessive admiration.

6. Exploits others. Takes advantage and manipulates others to get their own needs met.

7. Lack of empathy. Can not truly connect with how others are feeling.

8. Envious and jealous. Hate people who have something they want, also believing others are envious of them.

9. Arrogant. An exaggerated sense of their own abilities and behaviours.

Female narcissists believe they are better than everyone else, and people will look up to them and be envious of them.

They are just showing superficial and false things to cover their inner feelings. It’s mostly false.

With a female narcissist, they are often bitchy, and a bully.

Most women will have had a moment of gossiping, and not feeling so good for doing it, that’s normal, we can all gossip. You will have a moment and think, nope I shouldn’t be judging, and gossiping and feel awful for doing so.

With a female narcissist, they will gossip about anyone and everyone they do not care, and they are bully’s, it’s just to make her feel better about herself, you get something new, they’ll get something better, they enjoy bringing others down. Even if they’re not a narcissist someone who consistently puts others down, is basically screaming out their own insecurities.

They will triangulate friends, playing them off against each other to divide and conquer, if you say ”no” they’ll say that ok Susan will, they will tell you that your mutual friend talks about you behind your back. They will try to gossip with you about that person, and then they will try to gossip with then about you.

If a mutual friend asks the narcissist to let you know about an event, they might not let you know, telling that other friend you didn’t want to attend. They will make friends feel uncomfortable around each other, and play the, ”I’m not going if you invite Susan.” then give you a lie on something Susan did, so you believe Susan to be unkind.

Female friends, as most narcissistic people do, enjoy putting others down, to make themselves feel better.

Female narcissistic friends can be passive-aggressive and cut others down because they are jealous of you. Because you’ve got quality’s, they can never have. They can not see the damage they do towards others as their fault, they can’t self-reflect and change themselves, they cannot accept accountability, and they have to blame others. They believe they are perfect, and it’s others that are at fault.

Female Friends are willing to find and to make a golden friend, a scapegoat friend, a forgotten friend, and depending on their need can switch these around.

Female Friends will idolise, devalue, smear and discard.

Female Friends will suck all your happiness from you; they will take all your joy; they will try to send you crazy; they want to take all your qualities and leave you with theirs.

They can spend weeks or months turning up at your home unannounced, wanting to borrow things, chat about their problems, then the next poof they are gone, spending the next few months leeching off another friend, then once they’ve used them up, they’ll be back to drain you.

Conversations often end up being all about them, so if the conversation started about you, whatever is happening in your life, it will soon get turned onto the narcissists life experiences, they will have always had worse, or had better, seen more or done more, say more and know more than you do.

As we grow friends do get busy, good friends will make time for you if needed, they not just swing by to use you.

So to sum up the signs of a female friend on the narcissist Personality Disorder spectrum.

1. They drain you.

2. Their way is the only way.

3. They gossip about others.

4. They put you down.

5. They are never genuinely happy for you.

6. Not there when you need them the most.

7. They never stand up for you.

8. Act like you are attacking them if you offer advice.

9. Their opinions are correct, and all others are invalid.

10. Generous to start, then after a while, all they do is take.

11. Only want to spend time with you, if and when it suits them.

12. Topics of conversation are usually what they want to talk about.

How to handle narcissistic friends.

1. If you choose to stay friends with someone who could have a narcissistic personality disorder, think about why you want to be friends with them? What do you benefit from that friendship? And what do they? This isn’t to be hurtful to them, and this is to protect yourself and your inner happiness, if you genuinely don’t want to remove them from your life then set realistic expectations, of what you will and will most likely not get from the friendship.

2. Learn to observe their toxic behaviour and not absorb.

3. Set clear boundaries, and once you’ve said no, stick with your no.

4. Don’t defend yourself to them, and they will most often twist the topic and provoke an argument, explain once and only if you need to do so.

5. Don’t take what they say or do personally, remember you did not cause it, you can not change it, and you can not control them, it’s who they are, and as they have every right to be who they are, you have every right to be who you are.

6. Limit the time you spend around them if you are always left drained, or hurt after spending time with them, cut down that time.

7. No contact with a narcissist is always best, sometimes it’s not possible and others it’s hard going no contact, but by removing negative, hurtful people from your life, that bring you down, let you down and continue to hurt you. You can make way for more like-minded friendships.

Whoever the narcissist or narcissists are in your life, the way in which you handle them is the same.

Video on how not to argue.

Video on observing don’t absorb.

Boundaries.

Video on no contact.

Join me on social media.

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Click the link below for the full online course to help you understand and overcome narcissistic abuse, with a link inside to free access for the hidden online support group, with daily advice and support from me, alongside other survivors doing the course.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/break-free-from-the-narcissist/?preview=

free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/kick-start-breaking-free-from-the-narcissist/?preview=

Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/break-free-from-the-narcissist2/?preview=

All about the narcissist Online course.

https://overcoming-narcissist-abuse.teachable.com/p/break-free-from-the-narcissist1/?preview=

For 1-2-1 Coaching with me, email @ beyourselfagaintoday@gmail.com

Parents Of Adult Narcissist children.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse by, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.

If you’re a parent with a child, who shows signs of the narcissistic personality disorder.

Young toddlers and teenagers can act narcissistic, people can have narcissistic characteristics this doesn’t necessarily mean they have the narcissistic personality disorder, most people can have positive and negative personality traits, for example someone can be confident and not go around putting others down or exploiting others, yet if they don’t have more characteristics of NPD they are most likely not a narcissist.

Some adult children could have a borderline personality disorder, or if they had a traumatic childhood or a narcissistic parent, they could be suffering from CPTSD.

Some young toddlers comes across as self-entitled and throw major tantrums when they don’t get their own way, and this can be just a normal part of growing up, some teenagers can have mood swings and be incredibly selfish, again this can be a normal part of growing up. So many class those with the disorder as toddlers in adults body’s, That never learned to the difference between right and wrong, and never learned how to tell the truth. As a toddler to save themselves for getting into trouble when asked if they’ve done something they shouldn’t will stand there and blatantly lie, to protect themselves, or they’ll blame a sibling or a friend, some really hate sharing toys and will snatch others, most learn and grow out of this, or they at least learn if they don’t want to share their stuff, which people are entitled not to share, that they don’t expect things from others, the whole give and take.

Parents often feel powerless and guilt, and can be left with narcissistic Abuse syndrome, the children can often take control as parents tries their best to help their child, which often enables the child more, like any relationship with a narcissist the children can love bomb the parents to get their needs met, then devalue, discard and come back for the hoover and love bomb the parents to get what they want at that time again, this is a challenging place for parents to be and they often become trapped within the cycle, as the parent of the child they want to help the child out and do the best by them, parents find it incredibly difficult to walk away from their own children, especially when they are crying out for help, and are often left feeling to blame for how their children behave, and feelings of guilt when they help the child or when they walk away from the child.

When they have grandchildren it becomes increasingly difficult as they want to help, support and protect the grandchildren also, with their own child often using the grandchildren as a porn, one minute they can leave the parents to care for the grandchildren, the next usually if the Narcissist child hadn’t got their own way, they disappear or stop the grandparents from seeing the grandchildren, manipulation to get their own way, using the grandchildren as pawns with the grandparents.

Some things they might do or ways they might treat you.

Adult children who are narcissists, some of these stay in the family home for as long as they are able to do so. They want to be taken care of, they are extremely demanding, with no empathy, manipulate their parents. These often have so many problems and create more and more problems within the family unit to gain attention and sympathy.

Some leave home and still continue to control their parents lives through manipulation.

They might laugh at you, eye roll, smirk, call you by your first name in front of others as a third party, smear your name to others, they’re never responsible for their own behaviour, so they deflect with words like most narcissists do.

You do all you can for them, and they’ll rarely do anything for you, If you ask a favour of them, or help around the home, most will not do it, unless they want something from you, most will deflect and bring the conversation on to things that you haven’t done.

“You’ve never” followed with a thing like done this for me.

“I’ve never.” Followed with things like did that.

“You’ve always.” Followed with thinks like, preferred my sibling.

“I’ve always.” Followed with things like, done what you wanted.

They can love bomb the family when they want something they can be incredibly charming and accommodating, yet as soon as they get what they want, they will become critical of their parents again, Putting them down, often telling their parents what they should and shouldn’t do.

Signs.

1. Superiority, having an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

2. Entitlement, believes they are entitled to what they want, when they want, often requiring attention or help in some way.

3. Empathy, or a lack of understanding towards those around them

4. Arrogance and domineering, often having an inflated ego, believing their ideas, thoughts and opinions are the truth, and yours are insignificant. Controlling situations either by being superior or playing the victim.

5. Grandiose, they believe they are above all others.

6. Special and unique, we are all special in our own right. However, narcissists take it to the next level, and they don’t see people as individuals who are all special and worthy, they see others as inferior to their greatness.

7. Envious of others, this isn’t a case of someone being jealous of someone’s new car, being pleased for that person and their new vehicles, wishing they had one and finding ways to earn money to achieve getting one, as seeing it made them realise they’d like one, this is envy with pure hatred, they don’t think others deserve to have something they haven’t got, they don’t see it as someone else has earned it, they see it as someone has stolen what’s rightfully there’s, they will often think the other person was lucky or cheated.

8. Exploit, they will exploit others, with their lack of empathy they will either place fear into others, or guilt-trip others to meet their own needs, use their dominance side to get others to meet their demands, or play victim and pity play, to get their needs met.

9. Success, if they are successful or not, most will brag and exaggerate any achievements made, those who haven’t, Will not look to themselves as to why they haven’t. Instead, they will blame those around them.

What can you do?

With younger children, it could just be standard childhood learning curves, and you can help guide them if they are just narcissistic. Dealing with an adult child narcissist on the spectrum is a challenging situation.

The only way to handle these is to leave them to it, recognising that how they want to live their life as a fully grown adult is entirely up to them, and how you want to live yours is up to you.

Acceptance.

It’s hard to recognise and accept that your child is a narcissist, accepting that is who they are, and no matter what you do, it’ll not change them.

Knowing you love them unconditionally doesn’t mean you have to accept their toxic behaviour, and they need consequences to their destructive behaviours. If that was phoning the authorities if they steal from you, or asking them to move out of the home if you can not handle what they are doing.

Recognise and acknowledge that you love them, and let them know this, know they most often do not love you back, and no matter what you do to help them, it will never be enough for them to love you back, or respect what you do for them, knowing they will never appreciate what you do, and will most often throwback in your face what you have done, will save you a lifetime of pain. Keeping your standards high of behaviour you will and will not accept, yet expectations low of how they will treat you.

The more you try to explain and help them, the more they will fight against you. If you keep giving in to them and giving them what they want they will keep taking, and you’ll keep hurting, knowing that’s who they are and what they do, remove the guilt knowing you have done all you could think of and nothing worked, let the guilt go and stop giving, if giving leaves you feeling unhappy, if your happy to give, then give, this is your life.

learn and stick to you’re boundaries, if you have a Boundary within your household that the adult child ignores, tackle them one by one, and if your adult child breaks that boundaries, you need to set firm consequence and stick with them, the more you give in, the more they will take advantage of you.

If you need to discuss things, try to do so in public, where they might put a lid on their verbally abusive behaviour, and you might get a true conversion with them.

With money, especially if they are using for addictions, many parents believe they are helping by providing the cash, so the children don’t steal, unfortunately this just feeds their addictions, when they are adults as much as parents want to help, you have to let them face the consequences of their own actions.

If they steal from you, then, unfortunately, the unconditional love of not doing anything other than confronting them, is enabling them to continue to control and harm you. You either have to stop letting them in your home or call the authorities, I know this is hard when it’s your own child, but sometimes you have to let life teach them, you can not save people from themselves they have to want to save themselves.

When it comes to the grandchildren, if you want to be a part of the grandchildren’s lives, then you have to play the narcissist games, but in the way of knowing you are doing it in the best interest of the grandchildren. Getting the narcissist to level up. Yet not allowing them to take full advantage of you, as you have every right to live life how you want for you, with good intentions there is no wrong way or right way to live your life.

So if they want you to have the grandchildren and you’re free to do so, have them, if they send a list of dos and don’ts if you agree or not, stick with it, if you say no to having them and your child tantrums or sulks explain once why you can not and leave them to it, do not get drawn into a debate. Even if you see your child’s parenting is harming the grandchildren, if it’s severe you might need to call the relevant services, if it’s not don’t tell them or try to help them, parent, be there for the grandchildren if your child allows.

If they’ve isolated the grandchildren from you, still send cards and gifts to the children as you normally would do.

When they are nice, give them attention, when they are being hurtful and using the grandchildren as pawns provide them with no attention. Narcissists live for attention, they don’t mind positive or negative, so if they are not getting the negative, they are more likely to go for the positive.

If they want to give you the silent treatment don’t reach out to them, they are just manipulating you; most will come back when they want something from you.

Make sure you live your adult life, you’ve raised them to adulthood, now they need to learn to help themselves, it’s difficult when it’s our child to draw that line of no longer parenting them, there’s no wrong in being there to support our adult children, just like supporting a friend or a relative, yet a child at some point when they become an adult, although you’ll always be their parent, at some point you no longer need to parent them.

Often parents naturally become emotional thinkers around their children narcissistic or not, as they care and love them deeply, this then places the narcissistic child in control, as they don’t have the empathy to care, so they will exploit their parents. parents need to try to think rationally when it comes to dealing with an adult narcissistic child.

Letting go of any guilt, not taking on all the responsibility, you did what you thought was best at any given moment, you tried to help, they don’t want to accept that help, they continue to exploit you.

Working on ourselves as with any narcissistic relationship, distancing ourselves from them and their drama, leaving them to handle the drama they cause within their lives, learning we can not help them, they need to learn to help themselves, whilst we go and work on ourselves, who we are and what our life is about, if life was around the child, finding things to do that we love to do for ourselves.

With some as hard as it is, you will need to cut them out of your life and focus on you. It’s incredibly hard to cut contact with your own children, especially if grandchildren are involved. Ignore the smear campaigns you know the situation in its entirety, what others think of you is not for you, let your child go their way, and you go yours. Join support groups, reach out to family and friends who understand, eventually your child will see they pushed you too far and your no longer interested.

How not to argue with a narcissist.

More on characteristics.

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