Red Flags Of A Narcissist’s Requirements Of Excessive Admiration.

To be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five of the nine characteristics—one of those Requires excessive admiration, identity often comes from borrowed dreams of those around them, needed a constant supply of attention to regulating their self-esteem.

The others are:-

  1. A sense of entitlement.
  2. Arrogance.
  3. Grandiose.
  4. Envy.
  5. Lack of empathy.
  6. Preoccupation with their ideal.
  7. Exploitative.
  8. Believe they are special

Signs someone requires excessive admiration. They don’t always do it in an overtly obvious way. Some covert methods are to purposefully play down their achievements around others in order to get those around them to raise them up.

  • Pointing out achievements.
  • Fishing for compliments.
  • Only doing because they want, expect demand praise.
  • Causing conflict, drama, arguments.
  • Goading to gain reactions from others.
  • Blaming others.
  • Cheating.
  • Exaggerating.
  • Making others feel guilty.
  • Being controversial just to provoke reactions.
  • Complaining often.
  • Playing the victim.

A narcissist will happily talk about themselves, and what they have achieved, often only listening to you in the beginning stages of the relationship in order to exploit you, once they have the information they need it’s all about them, they’ve worked hard, they’ve done more. ”After all, I’ve done for you.” guilt trips and those. ”Remember when I.” as you’re expected by them to be eternally grateful, for anything they’ve done for you and things they haven’t even done for you.

They will do something for someone in order to make someone feel obligated to do for them. They will flatter others in order to receive a compliment back. They will put themselves to get others to raise them up. However, the narcissist will not raise others up; they’ll pull others down to feel better about themselves.

Narcissists will set the environment, they’ll cause conflict between people, through various triangulation tactics, in order to divide and conquer, and get everyone going to the narcissist for information, the narcissist will enjoy causing arguments between others, while they run around playing the hero.

Whatever goes wrong in a narcissists life is always someone else fault, they will project. A narcissists projection is a mix of their manipulative Gaslighting and their manipulative Blame-shifting. As they go all out distracting you from the truth, as they do their best to cover the truth with their distorted lies, as they hide the truth of their toxic, hurtful, negative behaviour from you and those around you. At the same time they get you to doubt and blame yourself and take on the responsibility of the narcissist actions, they get you to defend yourself to them for how you think of feel due to their hurtful ways, so they escape accountability, so they remain in control, and so they get away with their actions time and time again.

If they feel attention slipping, they can future fake, put that grand act on of superiority, they can gossip about others to deceive people from what they actually do, as the narcissist will act like they are above the behaviour of those around them, even though they themselves are behaving in that way, yet gaslighting others into not seeing they narcissist fit who they are.

They will raise people up in order to get their needs met in the present, narcissists will fail to deliver on promises they’ve made, yet somehow shift the blame to make you question yourself and not them.

Narcissists will guilt-trip people into putting the needs of the narcissist before their own, through things like ”if you loved me you would.” they’ll fake an illness to get support, to pull on peoples sympathy, you exploit others for their caring nature.

If you don’t validate their achievements in the right way, they can rage, and claim you’re selfish. They can sulk and go on the silent treatments.

As they feel entitled, they’ll complain if they feel like their needs aren’t getting met, ”if you’d have made it like that, done it like this, acted like that.” A Narcissist will say “if you’d have paid me more attention, I wouldn’t need to go elsewhere.” Often they themselves believe this, as they feel entitled to getting attention, and no matter how much attention you give, they will always be wanting more.

Narcissists admiration is like a newborn baby crying for a feed. It’s normal and natural for the baby it’s how they let people know they require food, you give them milk it comforts them. They use the food up, their tummy drains, and they need more, it’s draining for a new mother or father. However, you love and care so provided, until, over time, they grow and learn to feed and eventually provide for themselves.

A narcissist is always going to play hero or victim, throw tantrums, or show off to get attention, once received they’re happy for a short time. However, they only learn they need more, and they only learn how to manipulate others to get their own selfish needs met.

Why do narcissist seek to ruin? The admiration seeking narcissist.

No contact is always the best method when dealing with narcissistic people, not always possible if that’s the case grey rock, limited communication is the best way forward, lower your expectations of their ability to understand you, to care for you and to communicate honestly and openly with you, while learning your standards of behaviour you will and will not accept from people.

Grey Rock.

Click on the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

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Red Flags Of A Narcissists Grandiosity.

For someone to be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five on the nine characteristics—one of those being Grandiose, expects to be recognised as superior, exaggerates achievements. Setting goals based on seeking approval, validation and admiration from others.

The others are:-

  1. A belief they are special.
  2. Exploitative.
  3. Entitled.
  4. Envy.
  5. Lack of empathy.
  6. Preoccupation with their ideal.
  7. Requires excessive attention.
  8. Arrogance.

The grandiose narcissist is the one most people think about when it comes to narcissism, people with the looks, the money, the charm, the confidence, however, when it comes to NPD, not all have the money, and those around narcissists often easily mistake their Arrogance for confidence, their manipulation for charm.

Signs of grandiosity.

  • Unrealistic sense of self.
  • They are preoccupied with self.
  • Self-absorbed.
  • Expects special treatment.
  • Sees themselves as above others, intellect, class, beauty etc.
  • Exaggerates talents.
  • Lies about the things they’ve done.
  • Puts others down.
  • Unrealistic high standards.
  • Talks about themselves a lot.
  • Boastful.
  • Common rules don’t apply to them. They do to you.
  • Selfish.
  • Quick to anger.
  • Not caring for those they hurt.
  • High-risk takers.
  • Self-centred.
  • Stubborn.
    They can be prone to boredom.
    They are extremely jealous of others and very egotistical.

The grandiose narcissist, although they can act covertly they are often overt, meaning they openly show themselves as to who they are, talking about themselves, higher in their trait of arrogance, as they are often oblivious to the effect their behaviours have on those around them, they also usually have. Army of Enablers supporting their behaviour, they often have the monetary items that help with their feelings of superiority.

The grandiose narcissists are incredibly dominant and very charming, which draws people to them, they easily seduce, and when their needs are no longer being met, they move quickly onto the devaluation and discard phase.

They will control those around them, through, many manipulation methods, Coercive Control. They will criticise, they will invalidate, they will even control through fear with their temper tantrums of pure anger, rage and hatred.

They believe they are special, and as those around them often look up to them, either mistaking their arrogance for confidence or through all the narcissist Future Faking, living in the hope the narcissist will deliver on those dreams the narcissist promises and sometimes delivers.

Or through fear as anyone who is perceived to criticise them will be Devalued and Discarded in devastating ways, often followed with a mass Smear campaign with the narcissist’s supply of Flying Monkeys. They have exaggerated beliefs of their own self-importance, they expect and can demand admiration, they don’t want to wait in line, they want to skip to the front of the Que in anything they do, often exploiting others along the way.

As with fantasies of power and success and the fact, narcissists love to talk all about themselves and their exaggerated accomplishments, even those who have achieved will often exaggerate, there is no humbleness to them. Anything you can do, they have done bigger and better, so many grandiose narcissists actually haven’t achieved much, due to their fear of failure, if they were to fail this would damage their fragile ego of who they pretend to themselves to be. They will be jealous and envious of others achievements. They’ll often demean or belittle those around them who have achieved with put-downs and criticism, to claiming others only have what they have due to help from those around them. The narcissist never got that support. Even the grandiose will play the victim if it meets a need, if they can play on someone’s empathy to exploit them, or if by playing the victim, they can escape responsibility.

Limited contact, grey rock or no contact.

I can not recommend No contact enough. It’s not easy. It’s a learning curve, however long term it’s so worth it. No contact isn’t always possible, in which case limited contact and grey rock.

Boundaries.

Learning your beliefs, your values, your dreams, your hopes. What you want from your life, anything that doesn’t fit your happiness, if the other person can not compromise as you would with them, it’s a no. Treat people how you wanted to be treated is great, but when they don’t have the respect to treat you how you should be treated, with honesty, respect and loyalty, your no needs to mean no, and it’s time to walk away, let them go left, and you go right into the path of creating your future happiness.

The Narcissists Grandiosity.

Click on the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Red Flags Of A Narcissists Exploitative Behaviours.

To be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five of the nine characteristics—one of those being Exploitative takes advantage of others to meet their own needs.

The others are:-

  1. A sense of entitlement.
  2. Arrogance.
  3. Grandiose.
  4. Envy.
  5. Lack of empathy.
  6. Preoccupation with their ideal.
  7. Requires excessive attention.
  8. Believe they are special

Signs someone is exploiting you.

  • Quick involvement.
  • Only interested in things that suit them.
  • Controlling.
  • Lie a lot.
  • Find ways to punish others.
  • Financial abuse.
  • Isolates people.
  • Play on people’s vulnerabilities.
  • Make others feel guilty.
  • Two or more personalities.
  • Spin a good story.
  • Exaggerates a lot.
  • Future fakes.
  • Takes advantage of situations.
  • Secretive.
  • Mood swings.
  • Uses others for their own gains.
  • Cheating on people, or cheating people out of hopes, dreams, desires.

Narcissists all to often love bomb people into the relationship, through excessive and insincere flattery, calling often, excessive gifts, moving in fast.

They will learn all about you so they can mirror you and sell all your hopes dreams and desires back to you, future faking to get their needs met in the present by selling you a false belief of your future.

They might ask you to stop working. They might not work, they might ask to borrow money with a promise of paying you back. However, they never have the money to pay you back, or claim you owe them, guilt trip you with things like “If you loved me.”

They might cause arguments before you meet friends, or when you come home, create an atmosphere when family come round, want you to move away from friends and family, talk badly of your friends and family. “They just use you.” Or “I think you need to be careful around them.” Or they’ll go behind your back and talk to others about their concerns of you, then tell you what the others said, divide and conquer so they can further their control.

Use any and all weaknesses against you either so you fear standing up for yourself and fawn to their behaviour. Or to guilt trip you in some way. “After all, I’ve done for you.”

You’re never sure who you’re going to wake up next to, come home to, go to bed with, if by asking if they’ve had a good day they’ll talk to you, shout at you, sulk, fall silent and walk out on you. Or if you don’t ask what they’ll do. Never knowing what to do for the best as they swing from nasty to nice.

They’re very secretive about where they’ve been, what they’re doing, the phone always faces down with no message preview, you’re not allowed passwords, they will claim there’s some form of sensitive information on there or ask “don’t you trust me.” Creating a lot of intrigues. Create feelings of jealousy flirting with others in front of you, then if you ask call you “jealous.” Or claim “you’re to hung up on your past.” denying they know someone that’s obvious they do.

They cheated on the exes, or they’ve already cheated on you, physically or emotionally, cheated people out of homes, money, dreams, hopes, friendships, family.

The stories they tell just don’t seem entirely realistic. Yet, you feel rude asking them to explain more, or if you do ask, they sulk, or their explanation seems even more confusing, and you’re sure they contradicted themselves, yet they might rage if you ask them about their contradiction.

They tell you one story, then when you’re around others, they tell a completely different story, and if you ask them, they’ll accuse you of losing your mind.

Holds a lot of grudges, seem to have a valid excuse as to why they shouldn’t do for others, however, expects others to do for them.

How narcissist’s take advantage.

Remember its ok to prioritise your needs, your allowed to be at your best to give your best.

If something doesn’t feel right, you’re allowed to say no, if someone doesn’t like your no that’s not a sign you needed to say yes, it’s a sign you needed to say no and walk away.

If someone is guilt-tripping you, remember the best way you can help anyone is empowering them to help themselves, not doing the work for them.

Ten methods to avoid narcissists in future.

Click on the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

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Red Flags Of A Narcissists Lack In Empathy.

For someone to be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five of the nine characteristics—one of those being A lack In Empathy, unable to identify or recognise the thoughts, feelings, needs of others.

The others are:-

  1. A belief they are special.
  2. Exploitative.
  3. Grandiose.
  4. Envy.
  5. Entitled.
  6. Preoccupation with their ideal.
  7. Requires excessive attention.
  8. Arrogance.

Signs someone lacks empathy.

  • Oblivious to others feelings.
  • Gets annoyed when people expect them to understand how the narcissist hurt them.
  • Always right.
  • Refusal to admit fault.
  • Refusal to listen to other perspectives.
  • Acts insensitive to others pain, saying ”You’re overreacting, don’t be so sensitive, it was only a joke.”
  • Blames all others for problems.
  • Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
  • It’s all about them.
  • Doesn’t recognise the pain they cause others.
  • Argumentative.
  • Not sympathetic shows little compassion.

Empathy is having the ability to understand how another is feeling, in any given situation from the other person’s perspective. Having the ability to empathise is having the ability to care. Empathy is having the ability to share in the feeling that another might be experiencing. With empathy, people try not to hurt people in the first place.

Empathy is the ability to share in an emotional feeling or physical feeling, Love, pain, fear, hurt, sadness, anger.

A narcissist often lacks the empathy to care.

A narcissist might hurt you in some way, either humiliating or shaming you, which is often intentional to gaslight you into believing you’re less than you are so they can further their control over you, then to distract you from the pain they caused, if you recognise and ask them about it, they’ll claim ”its only a joke.” or ”don’t be so sensitive.” as they don’t want to admit fault, they want to blame your emotions and not their actions.

This is when we can give someone a chance and then remind ourselves were entering the danger zone if they were joking and have empathy they’d recognise their actions hurt us and wouldn’t repeat their behaviour, we all make mistakes, most of us recognise these mistakes and empathise, feel bad for hurting another, that pain they caused would stop them doing it again. If someone does it again, that’s who they are, and if we forgive them again and give them a second chance, they learn it’s acceptable to treat us that way, and when they do it a third time, to then, it’s our fault for forgiving them, not theirs for hurting us.

When you’re trying to talk through something that’s happened to you, and they either change the subject, tell you ”it wasn’t that bad.” or start talking about something far worse that happened to them, and not to strike up that two-way conversation for mutual understanding, to gain sympathy for themselves.

When someone will sit and watch you cry over the pain, they have caused with a glint in their eye, no apology, and claim you brought it on yourself. When they just don’t recognise the pain, they cause those around them.

When you try to explain to those who hurt you or someone around you, and they don’t seem to listen, worse still, they use that explanation against you or those around you to cause more pain.

Do they refuse to admit any wrongdoing? Instead, they come at you with ”That’s just like you.” or ”Why do you have to make everything so difficult.”

When they rage out of know where, or accuse you of being untrustworthy because you found out about and the untrustworthy thing they did.

The best way to handle those with a lack of empathy is no contact.

The best way to handle those around you that are on the lower end of the scale. If you can not go no contact, grey rock, don’t give them anything they can hurt you with, don’t tell about you, don’t ask about them, be monotonously boring as you possibly can, don’t make eye contact when face to face, just look over the top of their ear, keep things on a need to know basis, if they are provoking your emotions to create anger, retreat, rethink and only respond if you need to do so, remember you can not change who they are or how they treat people, you can change how you respond and how you let them make you feel, it takes time, it takes patience, it’s a learning curve, it might feel uncomfortable, you might slip up when you do slip up. That dark cloud hits, it’s just a reminder to go again, try a new approach, so you feel happy, it’s not mean treating those who like to hurt you this way, it’s for your mental health. You can, and you will recover from this.

The narcissists lack in empathy.

Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.