The Two Faces of a Narcissist: Admiration-Seeking and Envious Behaviors When Losing Control.

Narcissists have always been a topic of fascination and intrigue in psychology, with their complex and often destructive behaviour leaving a lasting impact on those around them. The term “narcissist” comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a beautiful young man who fell in love with his reflection and eventually died staring at himself in a pool of water. This story serves as a metaphor for the self-absorption and self-importance that characterises narcissistic individuals.

When a narcissist loses control over someone, whether it be a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member, their behaviour can become even more erratic and manipulative. In this article, we will explore the two sides of a narcissist when they lose control over someone: the admiration-seeking face and the envious face. We will delve into the multitude of games they play to win people back, as well as the games they play to destroy those they have lost control over.

The Admiration-Seeking Face:

One of the hallmarks of a narcissist is their constant need for admiration and validation from others. When a narcissist loses control over someone, they may resort to a variety of manipulative tactics in order to regain their admiration and secure their loyalty once again. One common tactic is love-bombing, where a narcissist inundates their target with affection, attention, and extravagant gestures in order to win them back over. They may shower their target with compliments and praise, telling them how wonderful and special they are, all in an attempt to manipulate their emotions and regain control.

Another tactic that narcissists may use in their quest for admiration is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a narcissist makes their target doubt their own reality and sanity. They may twist the truth, deny or minimise their own harmful behavior, and shift the blame onto their target in order to maintain their own sense of superiority and control. Gaslighting can be incredibly damaging to the target’s mental and emotional well-being, as they may start to question their own perceptions and feelings.

In addition to love-bombing and gaslighting, narcissists may also employ a variety of other manipulation tactics to win people back onside. They may use guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or playing the victim in order to elicit sympathy and provoke a reaction from their target. They may also use manipulation tactics such as triangulation, where they bring in a third party to create jealousy and competition, or hoovering, where they lure their target back in with promises of change and reconciliation.

Overall, the admiration-seeking face of a narcissist can be incredibly charming, persuasive, and manipulative. They may present a facade of vulnerability and insecurity in order to garner sympathy and support from their target, all while maintaining their sense of power and control. They may play on the target’s emotions and insecurities in order to exploit them for their own gain and may stop at nothing to ensure that they remain the centre of attention and admiration.

The Envious Face:

On the flip side, when a narcissist loses control over someone, they may also display a more malicious and destructive side of their personality. This is known as the envious face of a narcissist, where they may engage in a variety of vindictive and spiteful behaviors in order to destroy those they have lost control over. This can be especially true if the narcissist feels rejected, abandoned, or betrayed by their target.

One common tactic that narcissists may use in their quest for revenge is smear campaigning. Smear campaigning is a form of character assassination where the narcissist spreads false rumours, gossip, and lies about their target in order to tarnish their reputation and destroy their credibility. They may recruit allies and enablers to further spread these malicious rumours, creating a toxic and hostile environment for their target.

Another tactic that narcissists may use in their quest for destruction is stalking and harassment. They may obsessively monitor their target’s social media accounts, track their movements, and invade their privacy in order to maintain a sense of control and power over them. They may send threatening or abusive messages, show up uninvited at their target’s home or workplace, or engage in other forms of intimidation and harassment in order to instil fear and insecurity.

In addition to smear campaigning and stalking, narcissists may also engage in other destructive behaviours such as gaslighting, projection, and manipulation. They may twist the truth, blame their target for their own harmful behavior, and play the victim in order to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They may also try to provoke a reaction from their target by engaging in petty arguments, manipulation tactics, or emotional blackmail in order to maintain their sense of power and control.

Overall, the envious face of a narcissist can be incredibly toxic, manipulative, and destructive. They may go to great lengths to exact revenge on those they feel have wronged them and may stop at nothing to destroy their target’s reputation, credibility, and sense of self-worth. They may use a variety of emotional and psychological manipulation tactics in order to maintain their sense of power and control, and may leave a trail of destruction and chaos in their wake.

The Impact on the Target:

The impact of a narcissist losing control over someone can be devastating and long-lasting. Targets of narcissistic abuse may experience a range of emotional, psychological, and physical symptoms as a result of their interactions with a narcissist. They may experience feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and worthlessness as the narcissist manipulates their emotions and perceptions in order to maintain their sense of power and control.

Targets of narcissistic abuse may also experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and other mental health conditions as a result of their interactions with a narcissist. They may struggle to trust their own perceptions and feelings, and may feel isolated, lonely, and ashamed as a result of the narcissist’s manipulative tactics. They may also experience physical symptoms such as insomnia, fatigue, and gastrointestinal issues as a result of the stress and trauma of their interactions with a narcissist.

In addition to the emotional and psychological impact, targets of narcissistic abuse may also experience financial, legal, and social consequences as a result of their interactions with a narcissist. They may be financially exploited, emotionally manipulated, or socially isolated as a result of the narcissist’s destructive behaviours. They may also be subject to harassment, stalking, and other forms of abuse as the narcissist tries to maintain their sense of power and control.

Overall, the impact of a narcissist losing control over someone can be profound and far-reaching. Targets of narcissistic abuse may struggle to recover from the trauma and devastation of their interactions with a narcissist, and may require ongoing support and therapy in order to heal and move forward. They may also need to take proactive steps to protect themselves from further harm and set boundaries with the narcissist in order to maintain their own sense of safety and well-being.

In conclusion, the two sides of a narcissist when they lose control over someone can be incredibly complex, toxic, and destructive. The admiration-seeking face may be charming, manipulative, and persuasive, while the envious face may be malicious, vindictive, and destructive. The impact on the target of narcissistic abuse can be profound and far-reaching, leaving lasting scars on their emotional, psychological, and physical well-being. It is important for targets of narcissistic abuse to seek support and therapy in order to heal from the trauma and devastation of their interactions with a narcissist, and to set boundaries with the narcissist in order to protect themselves from further harm. Ultimately, it is important to recognise the signs of narcissistic behaviour and to take proactive steps to protect oneself from the toxic and destructive influence of a narcissist.

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