Strange Habits Narcissists Have With Time (And Why It Matters)
Time is one of the most valuable things we have—yet in some relationships, it can feel like your time simply doesn’t matter. You’re the one waiting, adjusting, rescheduling, and accommodating, while the other person moves through life on their own terms.
If this sounds familiar, you may be dealing with subtle behaviours often associated with narcissistic patterns. These habits aren’t always obvious at first, but over time they can create frustration, imbalance, and emotional exhaustion.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Let’s break down some of the most common ways narcissists treat time—and what it really means.
1. Always Being Late… But Expecting You to Be On Time
One of the most noticeable patterns is chronic lateness. They might show up late to plans, meetings, or important events without much concern—or even acknowledgment.
But here’s the catch: they still expect you to be punctual.
If you’re late? It becomes a problem.
If they’re late? It’s brushed off.
This creates a subtle power imbalance. Your time becomes flexible, while theirs is treated as fixed and important. Over time, you may start adjusting your expectations just to avoid conflict—arriving early, waiting longer, and accepting behaviour you wouldn’t normally tolerate.
2. Cancelling Plans at the Last Minute
Another common habit is cancelling plans with little notice. You may have set aside time, made arrangements, or even been looking forward to seeing them—only for everything to be dropped suddenly.
What makes this different from normal cancellations is the lack of consideration. There’s often no real apology, no recognition of the inconvenience, and no effort to reschedule in a meaningful way.
This can leave you feeling dismissed, as though your time and effort don’t hold the same value.
3. Expecting You to Adjust to Their Schedule
In these dynamics, everything tends to revolve around their availability. Plans happen when it suits them—not necessarily when it works for both of you.
You might find yourself:
- Rearranging your day to fit them in
- Changing commitments last minute
- Feeling guilty for not being available when they are
Meanwhile, they rarely make the same adjustments for you.
This one-sided flexibility can slowly train you to prioritise their needs over your own—often without even realising it.
4. Acting Like Their Time Is More Valuable
Narcissistic behaviour often includes an inflated sense of importance, and this can extend to how time is perceived.
Their work, hobbies, and social plans may always seem more urgent or significant than yours. If they’re busy, it’s justified. If you’re busy, it can be dismissed or minimised.
This creates a dynamic where:
- Their priorities take centre stage
- Yours are pushed aside
- You begin to question whether your time is “worth” as much
Over time, this can impact your confidence and sense of self-worth.
5. Disappearing… Then Expecting Instant Access
Another confusing pattern is inconsistency in communication. They may go quiet for hours—or even days—without explanation.
Then suddenly, they reappear and expect immediate attention, as if nothing happened.
If you don’t respond right away?
That’s when frustration or annoyance can show up.
This behaviour creates unpredictability. You’re left waiting, wondering, and adjusting—while they maintain control over when and how communication happens.
6. Wasting Your Time… But Reacting to Small Delays
Perhaps one of the most frustrating double standards is this:
They may:
- Keep you waiting
- Drag out plans
- Change things repeatedly
But if you’re even slightly late or unavailable? It becomes a bigger issue.
This inconsistency keeps you on edge. You may start overcompensating—being extra punctual, extra available—just to avoid negative reactions.
It’s not about time itself. It’s about control.
Why These Patterns Matter
Individually, these behaviours might seem minor. Everyone is late sometimes. Plans get cancelled. Life happens.
But when these patterns are consistent—and one-sided—they start to tell a bigger story.
They suggest:
- A lack of respect for your time
- A need for control or priority
- An imbalance in the relationship
Over time, this can lead to:
- Frustration and resentment
- Emotional exhaustion
- A reduced sense of self-worth
You may find yourself constantly adjusting, while the other person rarely does the same.
The Subtle Impact on You
One of the most important things to understand is how gradual this shift can be.
At first, you might brush things off:
“It’s not a big deal.”
“They’re just busy.”
But slowly, your behaviour changes:
- You wait longer
- You accept more
- You prioritise them over yourself
Without realising it, your time—and your needs—start to take a back seat.
What Healthy Behaviour Looks Like
In balanced, respectful relationships, time is treated as valuable on both sides.
That means:
- Both people make an effort to be punctual
- Cancellations are communicated with care
- Schedules are negotiated—not dictated
- Communication is consistent and respectful
It’s not about perfection—it’s about mutual consideration.
Final Thoughts
Time is something you can’t get back. And how someone treats your time often reflects how they value you.
If you’re constantly the one waiting, adjusting, or feeling like an afterthought, it’s worth paying attention.
Because the right people won’t make you feel like your time is optional.
They’ll respect it—just as much as they expect you to respect theirs.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
