Unthinkable Things That Happen to You in a Narcissistic Relationship
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is unlike anything most people experience. At first, it may feel like love, charm, and excitement. But over time, the reality sets in: the things you experience often feel unreal—or ‘unthinkable.’ Narcissists manipulate, control, and undermine their partners in ways that can leave deep emotional scars.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
Here are seven of the most common, yet shocking, behaviours narcissists inflict.
1. They Gaslight You Constantly
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious tactics narcissists use. They twist facts, deny events, or rewrite reality to make you doubt your own memory and judgment. You may recall conversations or events clearly, only to have them insist, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.” Over time, this erodes your confidence and makes you question your sanity. Gaslighting isn’t just lying—it’s a deliberate attempt to destabilise you emotionally.
2. Your Achievements Are Dismissed
No matter what you accomplish, a narcissist will belittle or ignore it. Promotions, awards, or personal milestones are dismissed with a shrug or backhanded comment. By undermining your achievements, they maintain a sense of superiority and control. You begin to feel that nothing you do is ever enough, creating a constant need for their approval while eroding your self-esteem.
3. They Isolate You from Loved Ones
Isolation is a classic control tactic. Friends and family may be subtly discouraged or outright forbidden. Narcissists often manipulate situations to make others see you as difficult, needy, or unstable. By cutting off your support network, they increase your dependence on them alone. This isolation makes it harder to recognise abuse and harder to leave.
4. Your Boundaries Are Routinely Ignored
Boundaries mean little to a narcissist. They push past limits, expecting you to tolerate behaviour that makes you uncomfortable, anxious, or unsafe. Requests for personal space, privacy, or emotional respect are often met with ridicule, guilt-tripping, or anger. This repeated violation teaches you to question your right to enforce boundaries, leaving you vulnerable and controlled.
5. They Use Your Vulnerabilities Against You
Secrets, insecurities, or past mistakes become weapons in a narcissist’s hands. During arguments, they may bring up sensitive information to shame, manipulate, or hurt you. Vulnerabilities that were once shared in trust are turned into tools for emotional punishment. This creates a sense of constant fear, where even honesty can feel dangerous.
6. They Make You Feel Crazy
Through repeated lies, contradictions, and blame-shifting, narcissists make you question your own reality. You may start apologising for things you didn’t do or feel confused about your own experiences. This is deliberate: the more unsure you are, the more power they hold. Feeling “crazy” becomes a daily reality, and your self-trust diminishes over time.
7. You’re Always on Edge
Walking on eggshells becomes the norm. Fear of anger, criticism, or abandonment keeps you hyper-vigilant. Every interaction feels tense, as you anticipate how they might react. This constant stress affects not only your mental health but also your physical wellbeing, leaving you drained and anxious.
Why These Behaviours Are Not About Love
It’s important to understand that these actions aren’t expressions of love—they are strategies of control. Narcissists thrive on manipulation, attention, and dominance. Recognising these “unthinkable” behaviours is the first step toward reclaiming your power. Awareness allows you to set boundaries, seek support, and protect your emotional health.
Taking Steps to Protect Yourself
- Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissistic behaviours so you can recognise them early.
- Set Boundaries: Decide what is acceptable and enforce limits consistently.
- Seek Support: Trusted friends, family, or therapists can provide perspective and safety.
- Focus on Your Reality: Trust your feelings, experiences, and perceptions.
- Prioritise Self-Care: Mental, emotional, and physical health must come first.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Recognising narcissistic abuse is painful, but it is also liberating. The more you understand the tactics, the easier it becomes to break free and regain control over your life.
