7 Ways Narcissists Make You Feel Like You Need to Be Degraded
Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often use psychological tactics to degrade and diminish others. These tactics slowly erode a person’s self-worth, leaving them feeling inferior and powerless. Understanding how narcissists achieve this is crucial for recognising and breaking free from their control. Here are seven ways narcissists make you feel like you need to be degraded:
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
1. Constant Criticism
One of the most common tactics narcissists use to degrade others is relentless criticism. They frequently criticise and belittle you, focusing on both minor imperfections and major insecurities. These criticisms aren’t always obvious; sometimes, they come in the form of subtle put-downs disguised as helpful advice or concern. Over time, this barrage of negativity can erode your self-esteem, making you feel like you are never good enough.
Narcissists often criticise areas where you may already feel vulnerable, such as your appearance, work performance, or relationships. Their goal is to keep you feeling inadequate and dependent on their approval, which they may offer sparingly and conditionally. As a result, you may start to believe that you are deserving of their harsh words, reinforcing a cycle of self-degradation and low self-worth.
2. Devaluation After Idealisation
Narcissists frequently use a cycle of idealisation and devaluation to keep you emotionally off balance. At the start of the relationship, they may shower you with praise, affection, and attention, making you feel incredibly valued. This is known as the idealisation phase, where the narcissist puts you on a pedestal, making you feel special and appreciated.
However, once they have secured your trust and affection, the narcissist switches to the devaluation phase. Suddenly, the things they once admired about you become points of criticism. They begin to focus on your perceived flaws and shortcomings, comparing you unfavourably to others or to their unrealistic expectations. This shift can be incredibly jarring, leaving you feeling confused and desperate to regain their approval.
Over time, this devaluation makes you feel inferior and unworthy, as the narcissist erodes your sense of self-worth while maintaining control over your emotions.
3. Public Humiliation
Narcissists often assert dominance through public humiliation, using it as a tool to degrade you and elevate themselves. Whether it’s a disparaging comment in front of friends, mocking your opinions at a social gathering, or criticising your appearance in public, they find ways to humiliate you where it hurts most: in front of others.
By degrading you publicly, the narcissist reinforces their superiority while making you feel small, ashamed, and embarrassed. This tactic is particularly effective because it forces you to internalise the humiliation, making you question your worth and value not only in private but also in the eyes of others. Public humiliation also serves as a warning: any challenge to the narcissist’s authority will be met with ridicule and punishment.
4. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious tactics narcissists use to make you feel degraded. This form of psychological manipulation involves making you doubt your own perceptions, memory, and reality. The narcissist may deny things they said or did, contradict your recollections, or insist that you are overly sensitive or irrational. Over time, gaslighting can cause you to question your own sanity.
By undermining your ability to trust yourself, the narcissist keeps you dependent on their version of reality. This leads to confusion, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of self-worth. You may begin to feel that your thoughts, feelings, and experiences are invalid or worthless, ultimately accepting the narcissist’s degrading view of you.
Gaslighting creates a deep sense of insecurity as you struggle to trust your own judgment, making it easier for the narcissist to exert control and keep you in a state of self-doubt.
5. Dismissive Attitudes
Another way narcissists degrade others is by dismissing their feelings, opinions, and concerns. They may belittle or completely ignore your emotional needs, making you feel like your thoughts and emotions don’t matter. This dismissiveness can manifest in many ways: interrupting you mid-sentence, rolling their eyes when you speak, or outright telling you that you’re being too emotional or overreacting.
Over time, this constant dismissal can make you feel like you don’t have a voice or that your opinions are worthless. You may start to internalise the narcissist’s attitude, believing that your thoughts and emotions are indeed unimportant. This dismissal of your humanity reinforces their sense of superiority while degrading your sense of self.
By minimising your feelings, the narcissist further degrades your self-worth, making you feel like you are undeserving of respect, attention, or validation.
6. Unfavorable Comparisons
Narcissists frequently compare you unfavourably to others, highlighting how you fall short of their expectations or how someone else is superior to you in some way. Whether they compare you to their friends, ex-partners, colleagues, or even strangers, the goal is always the same: to make you feel inadequate.
These comparisons may focus on aspects of your life that are already sources of insecurity—your career, appearance, intelligence, or social status. The narcissist uses these comparisons to keep you feeling like you’re never enough, driving you to seek their approval or validation. You might find yourself constantly striving to meet the narcissist’s impossible standards, only to feel like a failure when you inevitably fall short.
The tactic of comparing you to others reinforces the idea that you are not worthy or deserving of the narcissist’s affection or respect, further degrading your self-esteem.
7. Control and Manipulation
Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation, which often leaves their victims feeling degraded and powerless. By controlling various aspects of your life—your finances, social interactions, or even daily routines—they strip you of your autonomy and independence. This control can manifest in subtle ways, such as telling you what to wear, whom to be friends with, or how to spend your time.
Over time, this constant manipulation erodes your sense of self and makes you feel dependent on the narcissist for decision-making and validation. You may start to feel powerless, as though you are incapable of functioning without their guidance or approval. This reinforces the narcissist’s superiority while degrading your sense of autonomy and self-worth.
In the end, the narcissist’s control over your life reinforces their belief that they are more competent, valuable, or intelligent than you while making you feel smaller and less capable.
Narcissists use a wide array of tactics to degrade others, making them feel inferior, powerless, and dependent. From constant criticism and gaslighting to public humiliation and manipulative control, these strategies are designed to erode self-esteem and reinforce the narcissist’s dominance. Understanding these behaviours is the first step toward breaking free from the cycle of degradation and reclaiming your self-worth.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
