Unmasking Narcissists: 8 Hidden Tactics They Use to Win Arguments

Arguing with a narcissist can be a frustrating and exhausting experience. Their manipulative tactics can make it seem like you’re the one in the wrong, even when you know you’re right. In this article, we will explore eight hidden tactics that narcissists often use to win arguments. By understanding these tactics, you can better protect yourself from falling into their traps and maintain your sense of self-worth.

Ad hominem personal attacks:

One of the most common tactics narcissists use in arguments is ad hominem personal attacks. Instead of engaging with your argument or addressing the issue at hand, they will attack you personally. They may criticise your appearance, intelligence, or character in an attempt to deflect attention away from the real issue.

For example, if you point out a flaw in their logic, they might respond by saying, “You’re just too stupid to understand what I’m saying.” By attacking you personally, they hope to make you doubt yourself and question your own validity in the argument.

It’s important to remember that ad hominem attacks are a sign of weakness on the part of the narcissist. They are unable to defend their position with facts or logic, so they resort to personal attacks instead. Don’t take their insults to heart and stay focused on the issue at hand.

The strawman:

Another tactic commonly used by narcissists is the strawman argument. This involves misrepresenting your position or argument in order to make it easier to attack. By creating a distorted version of what you said, they can knock down this strawman instead of engaging with your actual argument.

For example, if you say, “I think we should consider all options before making a decision,” a narcissist might respond by saying, “So you’re saying we should waste time and never make a decision?” By creating this exaggerated version of your argument, they can easily dismiss it and make themselves look like the more reasonable party.

To counter a strawman argument, make sure to clarify your position and reiterate your original point. Don’t let the narcissist twist your words, and stay focused on the facts of the argument.

Appeal to authority:

Narcissists often use an appeal to authority as a tactic in arguments. Instead of providing evidence or reasons to support their position, they will rely on the opinions of so-called experts or authority figures to back up their claims.

For example, they might say, “Well, the expert on TV said that I’m right, so you must be wrong.” By appealing to authority, they hope to shut down any further discussion and make you feel like you’re going against the consensus.

It’s important to remember that just because someone is an authority figure doesn’t mean they are always right. Don’t be afraid to question their sources or challenge their reasoning. Stand firm in your own beliefs, and don’t let the narcissist’s appeal to authority sway you.

Appeal to popular opinion:

Similar to an appeal to authority, narcissists often use an appeal to popular opinion as a tactic in arguments. Instead of presenting facts or sound reasoning, they will rely on the beliefs or attitudes of the majority to support their position.

For example, they might say, “Everyone agrees with me, so you must be the one who’s wrong.” By appealing to popular opinion, they hope to make you feel like you’re going against the crowd and need to rethink your stance.

It’s important to remember that just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s right. Don’t be swayed by the narcissist’s attempts to make you feel like an outsider. Trust your own judgment and stick to your guns, even if it means going against the majority.

Circular reasoning:

Circular reasoning is another tactic that narcissists often use in arguments. This involves making a claim and then using that claim as evidence to support itself. In other words, they argue in circles without providing any real justification for their position.

For example, they might say, “I’m right because I said I’m right.” By using circular reasoning, they hope to confuse you and make it seem like their argument is more sound than it actually is.

To combat circular reasoning, ask the narcissist to provide concrete evidence or reasoning to support their position. Don’t let them get away with making baseless claims and insist on logical arguments. By staying grounded in facts and logic, you can see through their circular reasoning and maintain your own credibility in the argument.

Appeal to emotions:

Narcissists are skilled at manipulating emotions in order to win arguments. They will often use emotional tactics to make you feel guilty, ashamed, or fearful in order to control the outcome of the argument.

For example, they might say, “If you really cared about me, you would agree with me.” By appealing to your emotions, they hope to make you question your own feelings and prioritise their needs over your own.

It’s important to recognise when a narcissist is trying to manipulate your emotions and stand firm in your own beliefs. Don’t let them guilt-trip you or play on your fears to get their way. Stay focused on the facts of the argument, and don’t let emotions cloud your judgment.

Moving the goalposts:

Another tactic that narcissists commonly use in arguments is moving the goalposts. This involves constantly changing the terms of the argument in order to avoid being proven wrong or held accountable for their actions.

For example, if you present evidence that contradicts their position, they might change the subject or raise new objections to avoid addressing the issue at hand. By moving the goalposts, they hope to shift the focus away from their own flaws and onto their supposed shortcomings.

To counter this tactic, stay focused on the original issue and don’t let the narcissist derail the argument. Don’t let them change the terms of the debate to suit their own agenda, and hold them accountable for their actions. By staying persistent and consistent, you can prevent them from moving the goalposts and maintain control of the argument.

Red herring:

Lastly, narcissists often use red herrings as a tactic in arguments. This involves introducing irrelevant or distracting issues in order to divert attention away from the main point of contention.

For example, if you bring up a valid point that challenges their position, they might suddenly start talking about a completely unrelated topic to throw you off track. By introducing a red herring, they hope to confuse you and make it harder for you to make your case.

To combat this tactic, stay focused on the main issue and don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked by the narcissist’s distractions. Keep the conversation on track, and don’t let them lead you down irrelevant paths. By staying vigilant and attentive, you can avoid falling for their red herrings and maintain control of the argument.

In conclusion, arguing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. By understanding the hidden tactics they often use to win arguments, you can better protect yourself from falling into their traps and maintain your sense of self-worth. From ad hominem attacks to red herrings, narcissists employ a variety of manipulative tactics to control the outcome of arguments. By staying focused on the facts, remaining calm, and refusing to be swayed by their emotional manipulation, you can effectively counter their tactics and stand your ground. Remember, your voice matters, and you have the right to be heard in any argument. Don’t let a narcissist diminish your confidence or diminish your truth. Stay strong, stay true, and stay in control.

Check these out!

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

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8 Hidden Tactics Narcissists Use To Win The Argument