Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological and emotional manipulation used by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorders. It can be incredibly damaging to the victims, leading to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. One of the most insidious aspects of narcissistic abuse is the mind games that narcissists play to control and manipulate their victims.
One of the first mind games that narcissists often play is called love bombing. Love bombing is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist showers their victim with love, affection, and attention in order to quickly gain their trust and loyalty. They may say things like “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before” or “You’re the only one who understands me.” This intense affection is meant to make the victim feel special and loved, but it is often a ploy to manipulate and control them.
Gaslighting is another common mind game used by narcissists. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist denies reality, distorts the truth, and makes their victim doubt their own perceptions and sanity. They may say things like “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things” in order to make the victim feel crazy and question their own reality. Gaslighting is extremely damaging and can lead to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and helplessness.
Projection is a mind game where the narcissist projects their own negative traits, beliefs, and behaviours onto their victim. They may accuse the victim of being selfish, manipulative, or dishonest when, in reality, it is the narcissist who possesses those traits. By projecting their own faults onto the victim, the narcissist can avoid taking responsibility for their own actions and behaviour.
Triangulation is a mind game where the narcissist uses a third party to create jealousy, competition, and tension in the relationship. They may talk about an ex-partner, a coworker, or a friend in order to make the victim feel insecure and threatened. By introducing a third party into the dynamic, the narcissist can exert control over the victim and manipulate their emotions.
Playing the victim is a mind game where the narcissist portrays themselves as the victim in order to gain sympathy, attention, and pity from others. They may exaggerate or fabricate stories of hardship, suffering, or injustice in order to garner support and validation. By playing the victim, the narcissist can manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and giving them what they want.
Dry begging is a mind game where the narcissist hints at what they want or need without directly asking for it. They may use subtle cues, gestures, or comments to manipulate others into fulfilling their desires. By hinting at their needs, the narcissist can avoid taking responsibility for their own wants and manipulate others into meeting their demands.
Blame shifting is a mind game where the narcissist shifts responsibility and blame onto their victim in order to avoid accountability for their own actions. They may say things like “You made me do it” or “It’s your fault that this happened” in order to deflect criticism and avoid consequences. By shifting blame onto the victim, the narcissist can manipulate others into believing that they are the one at fault.
Emotional blackmail is a mind game where the narcissist uses guilt, fear, and shame to manipulate their victim into doing what they want. They may threaten to leave, withhold affection, or play the victim in order to control and manipulate the victim. By using emotional blackmail, the narcissist can manipulate others into meeting their demands and fulfilling their desires.
Future faking is a mind game where the narcissist makes promises and plans for the future that they have no intention of keeping. They may talk about getting married, having children, or buying a house in order to keep the victim hooked and invested in the relationship. By making empty promises and false commitments, the narcissist can manipulate the victim into staying with them and giving them what they want.
Hoovering is a mind game where the narcissist tries to “suck” the victim back into the relationship after a period of silence or estrangement. They may send texts, emails, or messages professing their love and regret in order to manipulate the victim into coming back to them. By hoovering, the narcissist can control and manipulate the victim into staying in the toxic relationship.
Overall, the mind games that narcissists play are designed to control, manipulate, and gaslight their victims in order to fulfil their own desires and needs. It is important for victims of narcissistic abuse to recognise these mind games and seek support and therapy in order to heal and break free from the toxic cycle of abuse. Remember, you are not crazy or to blame for the mind games that narcissists play – it is all a part of their manipulation and control tactics.
Toxic Mind Games That Identify Narcissism.
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15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
