Living with or being involved with a narcissist can be a confusing and emotionally draining experience. At first, they may seem charming, attentive, and overly generous towards you. They shower you with praise, compliments, and gifts, making you feel like the centre of their universe. However, as time goes on, you may start to notice subtle signs that something isn’t quite right.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to get what they want. They have a way of making you feel special and important, but in reality, they are only interested in what you can do for them. They may treat you well when it serves their needs, such as when they need a favour from you, admire a quality in you that they see as a reflection of themselves, or when they can benefit from your association with them.
For example, a narcissistic boss may treat you well when you are producing good results for their company, but turn on you in an instant if you make a mistake or challenge their authority. A narcissistic partner may love bomb you with attention and affection in the beginning of the relationship, only to become cold and distant when they no longer see you as a source of validation or admiration.
Narcissistic parents may spoil their children with gifts and attention, but only to the extent that it makes them look like good parents in the eyes of others. They may use their children as pawns in their game of manipulation, controlling them with guilt and emotional blackmail.
In the early stages of a relationship with a narcissist, they may idealise you, putting you on a pedestal and making you feel like the most important person in the world. This phase, known as love bombing, is intended to hook you in and make you feel dependent on their approval and attention. However, this idealisation is often short-lived, as the narcissist’s shaky sense of self-worth can’t handle your flaws or imperfections for long.
When a narcissist sees qualities in you that they once admired starting to threaten their own fragile self-esteem, they may become envious and resentful. They may start to devalue you, either subtly or overtly, to bring you back down to their level. This can manifest in passive-aggressive behaviour, gaslighting, or outright criticism and belittling.
The narcissist’s envy of your positive qualities can drive them to try and sabotage your success or reputation. They may spread rumours about you, undermine your achievements, or try to turn others against you. In their eyes, if they can’t have what you have, then no one should.
Eventually, the narcissist may discard you altogether, once they feel that they have drained you of all of the attention, resources, or validation that you have to offer. They may move on to someone else who they see as a better source of narcissistic supply, leaving you feeling used, confused, and emotionally battered.
However, the cycle doesn’t end there. Once the narcissist sees you picking yourself back up and moving on without them, or if they find themselves in need of something from you, they may try to hoover you back in. They may reach out with false promises of change, apologies, or grand gestures of affection, hoping to lure you back into their web of manipulation.
If you fall for their charms and allow them back into your life, the narcissist may once again treat you well, at least for a little while. But inevitably, the cycle of abuse and manipulation will begin anew as they look for new ways to tear you down and boost their own fragile ego.
It’s important to recognise the signs of narcissistic abuse and to set boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can help you see the truth about the toxic relationship you are in.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it may be necessary to seek help from a therapist or counsellor who can provide you with the tools and strategies to break free from the cycle of abuse and to heal from the emotional wounds that have been inflicted upon you.
Remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness and that you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Don’t let a narcissist’s envy and manipulation destroy you – take back your power and reclaim your life.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
