No contact with a narcissist is a strategy that many people adopt in order to protect themselves from the manipulation, abuse, and toxicity that often accompanies a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It involves cutting off all forms of communication and contact with the narcissist, including phone calls, text messages, emails, and social media interactions. No contact is often a last resort for those who have tried everything else to salvage the relationship and have come to the realisation that the only way to preserve their mental and emotional well-being is by severing ties with the narcissist.
There are several reasons why no contact can be necessary when dealing with a narcissist. First and foremost, it is a way to establish boundaries and protect oneself from further harm. Narcissists are notorious for their manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse, and no contact can serve as a means to shield oneself from these harmful behaviours. It can also provide the individual with an opportunity to heal and regain their sense of self-worth and autonomy, which may have been eroded by the narcissist’s behaviour.
Furthermore, no contact can serve as a way to break free from the cycle of abuse and manipulation that often characterises relationships with narcissists. By cutting off all contact, the individual can begin the process of detaching themselves emotionally and mentally from the narcissist, which is crucial for their own healing and recovery.
However, implementing no contact with a narcissist is not without its challenges. Narcissists often do not respect boundaries and may continue to attempt to contact the individual even after they have made it clear that they want no further contact. This is because narcissists have a deep-seated need for validation, admiration, and control and are often unwilling to accept rejection or the loss of a source of narcissistic supply.
In addition, narcissists often employ a range of mind games and manipulative tactics in an attempt to draw the individual back into the relationship despite their desire for no contact. These mind games are designed to exploit the individual’s vulnerabilities and insecurities and to make them doubt their decision to walk away from the narcissist. In this article, we will explore five common mind games that narcissists play after no contact, as well as five mind games that they may use in an attempt to destroy the individual for daring to walk away from them.
Five Mind Games Narcissists Play After No Contact:
- Love Bombing: Love bombing is a tactic commonly used by narcissists to reel the individual back in after no contact. This involves overwhelming the individual with declarations of love, affection, and adoration in an attempt to make them feel wanted and valued. Love bombing can be extremely seductive and difficult to resist, especially for those who have been starved of affection and validation.
- Hoovering: Hoovering is another standard mind game that narcissists use to try and pull the individual back into the relationship. It involves attempts to re-establish contact through phone calls, text messages, emails, and social media, often with the intention of luring the individual back into the narcissist’s web of manipulation and control. The narcissist may use hoovering as a way to test the waters and see if the individual is still vulnerable to their advances.
- Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that narcissists use to make the individual doubt their own perceptions and experiences. This can be particularly damaging after no contact, as the individual may already be feeling vulnerable and uncertain about their decision to walk away from the narcissist. Gaslighting may involve the narcissist denying or minimising their abusive behaviour and trying to make the individual believe that they are the ones who are overreacting or being unreasonable.
- Triangulation: Triangulation is a tactic that narcissists use to create rivalry and jealousy between the individual and another person in order to manipulate and control them. This can take the form of the narcissist flaunting a new romantic partner, or engaging in covert flirtation and flirting with someone else in the presence of the individual. Triangulation can be used as a way to make the individual feel insecure and desperate to win back the narcissist’s attention and affection.
- Pity Play: Narcissists may also attempt to elicit sympathy and compassion from the individual after no contact in an effort to guilt-trip them into resuming the relationship. This can involve the narcissist playing the victim and portraying themselves as misunderstood or mistreated in the hopes of eliciting feelings of empathy and compassion from the individual. The pity play can be a powerful tool for narcissists, as it preys on the empathic nature of the individual and makes them question whether they are being too harsh in implementing no contact.
Five Mind Games to Destroy You for Daring to Walk Away.
- Smear Campaign: After no contact, narcissists may engage in a smear campaign in an attempt to tarnish the individual’s reputation and turn others against them. This can involve spreading lies and rumours about the individual or portraying them as unstable, unreliable, or unworthy of trust. The smear campaign is designed to isolate the individual and undermine their support network, leaving them feeling vulnerable and alone.
- Silent Treatment: The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic that narcissists use to punish the individual for daring to walk away from them. This involves ignoring the individual and refusing to acknowledge their presence or attempts to communicate in an effort to make them feel insignificant and worthless. The silent treatment can be deeply hurtful and disorienting, especially after the individual has already been grappling with the decision to implement no contact.
- Stalking and Harassment: Narcissists may also engage in stalking and harassment after no contact, as a way to maintain a sense of control and power over the individual. This can involve persistent attempts to contact the individual, showing up unannounced at their home or workplace, or monitoring their activities and movements in a way that is intrusive and intimidating. Stalking and harassment can be a frightening and violating experience and can leave the individual feeling unsafe and vulnerable.
- Financial and Legal Manipulation: In some cases, narcissists may attempt to use financial and legal manipulation as a way to punish the individual for walking away from them. This can involve withholding financial support, sabotaging the individual’s career or financial stability, or engaging in legal proceedings designed to prolong the conflict and drain the individual’s resources. Financial and legal manipulation can be a way for narcissists to exert power and control over the individual, even after no contact has been implemented.
- Smear and Salvage: A final mind game that narcissists may play after no contact is what can be described as “smear and salvage.” This involves the narcissist exploiting any vulnerabilities or missteps that the individual may have experienced during the no-contact period in an attempt to salvage the relationship and reassert their control. This can involve the narcissist using the individual’s past mistakes or insecurities against them in an effort to make them feel guilty and remorseful for implementing no contact.
In conclusion, no contact with a narcissist can be a necessary and empowering strategy for those who have been subjected to the manipulation and abuse that often characterises relationships with narcissists. However, no contact is without its challenges, and it is often met with resistance and attempts by the narcissist to undermine the individual’s decision. It is essential for those considering no contact to be aware of the potential mind games and manipulative tactics that narcissists may employ after no contact in order to protect themselves and maintain their boundaries. By understanding these mind games and staying strong in their decision, individuals can begin the process of healing and reclaiming their autonomy and self-worth.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Two Sides To A Narcissists Games After No Contact. What Happens When A Narcissist Loses Control.

