When a narcissist moves onto their new supply, it can be a painful and confusing experience. The feelings of betrayal and confusion can be overwhelming, but it’s important to recognise that this is just another part of the narcissistic cycle of abuse. Understanding this cycle and how it affects not only romantic partners but also children, friends, and family members is crucial to breaking free from the toxic influence of a narcissist.
The first stage in the narcissistic cycle is idealisation. Narcissists are master manipulators who can make their new supply feel like they are the centre of the universe. They will shower them with attention, gifts, and affection, making them feel special and adored. This stage can be incredibly intoxicating, and it’s often what draws people into relationships with narcissists in the first place.
However, this idealisation phase is short-lived. Once the narcissist feels secure in their new relationship, they will begin to devalue their new supply. They may start to criticise, belittle, and manipulate them subtly. Suddenly, the adoration and attention they once received are replaced with coldness and indifference.
Intermittent reinforcement is another tactic that narcissists use to keep their new supply hooked. They may alternate between being loving and attentive one moment and then cold and distant the next. This creates a constant sense of uncertainty and keeps the new supply on their toes, always seeking the narcissist’s approval and validation.
Eventually, the narcissist will replace their new supply with someone else. This can be incredibly painful for the new supply, who was once idealised and adored by the narcissist, who may be left questioning what they did wrong and why they weren’t good enough.
The discard phase can leave the new supply feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. The narcissist may move on to someone new without a second thought, leaving a trail of emotional destruction in their wake.
After discarding their new supply, the narcissist may engage in smear campaigns to discredit and disparage them in the eyes of others. They may paint their now-old supply as crazy, unstable, or unworthy of their love and attention. This is a manipulation tactic designed to absolve the narcissist of any responsibility and garner sympathy from others.
The cycle then begins again, with the narcissist seeking out a new source of supply to fill the void left by the last. This pattern can be incredibly destructive, not only for the new and old supply, but also for any children involved in the narcissist’s life.
Narcissists can exhibit the same patterns of idealisation, devaluation, and discard with their children. They may alternate between treating one child as the golden child, showering them with praise and attention while neglecting and belittling another child who becomes the scapegoat. This can cause deep emotional wounds in the children and perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
It’s essential to recognise that the narcissist’s behaviour is not a reflection of the worth or value of their supply. The narcissist’s actions are driven by their own insecurities, need for control, and lack of empathy. They are only interested in listening to others in order to exploit them for their own gain.
The only way to break free from this cycle of abuse is to cut off the narcissist’s supply. This means walking away and no longer playing into their manipulative tactics. It’s important to recognise that you didn’t cause the narcissist’s behavior and you can’t change it. The only way to win is to remove yourself from the toxic influence of the narcissist and seek support from others who understand the cycle of abuse.
In conclusion, when narcissists pretend to move onto their new supply, it’s important to recognise that this is just another tactic in their cycle of abuse. By understanding the patterns of idealisation, devaluation, discard, and smear, you can begin to break free from the toxic influence of the narcissist and reclaim your life. It’s important to seek support from others who understand the cycle of abuse and to prioritise your own healing and well-being. Remember, the only way to win is to walk away and no longer play into the narcissist’s manipulative games.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
The Replacement Game: When Narcissists Pretended To Move On To Their New Supply.
