Narcissism is a personality disorder that can have harmful effects on both the narcissist and the people around them. It is characterised by a lack of empathy, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a constant need for admiration. A narcissist may use certain phrases to manipulate and control their victims, often leaving them feeling confused, hurt, and invalidated.
- “I did it for your own good.”
When a narcissist says this, they are attempting to justify their actions by making it seem as though they are acting in the best interest of their victim. In reality, they are often operating in their own self-interest and using this phrase as a way to manipulate and control the other person. This can be especially harmful because it can make the victim doubt their own judgement and feel guilty for questioning the narcissist’s motives.
What they mean: The narcissist is trying to deflect any responsibility for their actions and make themselves seem like a hero in the situation.
Implications on their victims: This phrase can make the victim feel like they are ungrateful or selfish for questioning the narcissist’s actions, leading to feelings of guilt and self-doubt.
- “Stop trying to control me.”
Narcissists often use this phrase when they feel threatened or challenged by someone else’s opinions or actions. They may accuse their victim of trying to control them as a way to deflect attention from their own controlling behaviour.
What they mean: The narcissist wants to maintain their sense of power and control in the relationship and is using this phrase as a way to manipulate the other person into backing down.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling like their concerns and opinions are not valid, leading to feelings of helplessness and frustration.
- “I don’t owe you an explanation.”
This phrase is often used by narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or to dismiss the concerns of their victims. It can be a way for them to maintain a sense of superiority and control in the relationship.
What they mean: The narcissist is asserting their power and autonomy and refusing to be held accountable for their behaviour.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling dismissed and invalidated, as though their concerns and feelings are not important.
- “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This is a classic non-apology that narcissists often use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It shifts the blame onto the victim for their feelings rather than acknowledging any wrongdoing on the part of the narcissist.
What they mean: The narcissist is refusing to take responsibility for their actions and is instead blaming the victim for their own emotional response.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling invalidated and dismissed, as though their feelings are not valid or important.
- “Oh, here we go again.”
When a narcissist says this, they are attempting to minimise and dismiss the concerns of their victim. It can be a way for them to maintain control in the relationship and avoid addressing any issues that may threaten their sense of superiority.
What they mean: The narcissist is dismissing the concerns of the other person and trying to avoid taking any responsibility for their actions.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling as though their concerns are not important or valid and may lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness.
- “It’s your fault.”
Narcissists often use this phrase to shift blame onto their victims and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It can be a way for them to maintain their sense of superiority and control in the relationship.
What they mean: The narcissist is refusing to take any responsibility for the situation and is instead blaming the victim for their actions.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling guilty and as though they are to blame for the narcissist’s behaviour, leading to feelings of self-doubt and invalidation.
- “You always / You never.”
When a narcissist uses these phrases, they are attempting to generalise and exaggerate the behaviour of their victim to manipulate and control them. It can be a way for them to make the other person feel as though they are always to blame and are never good enough.
What they mean: The narcissist is attempting to manipulate and control the other person by generalising and exaggerating their behaviour.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling as though they are constantly under scrutiny and never able to do anything right, leading to feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.
- “You’re crazy.”
Narcissists often use this phrase to invalidate and dismiss the feelings and concerns of their victims. It can be a way for them to maintain a sense of superiority and control in the relationship.
What they mean: The narcissist is attempting to make the other person feel as though their feelings and concerns are not valid or important.
Implications on their victims: This can leave the victim feeling as though they are not being taken seriously, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness.
In conclusion, the phrases used by narcissists can have harmful effects on their victims, leading to feelings of confusion, guilt, and inadequacy. It is important for individuals who may be in a relationship with a narcissist to recognise these phrases and seek support in order to address and overcome the manipulation and control they may be experiencing. It is important to remember that the behaviour of a narcissist is not the fault of the victim, and seeking support from a professional can be beneficial in addressing these harmful dynamics in a relationship. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
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