Understanding the truth about narcissists is essential for protecting ourselves from their manipulation. The misconceptions about their emotions, their longing for others, their reaction to anger, their fear of being alone, and their lack of conscience are all myths that need to be debunked. By shedding light on these myths, we can empower ourselves to prioritise our own well-being and shield ourselves from the harmful tactics of narcissistic individuals.
Myth number 1: They have no emotions.
The misconception that narcissists have no emotions is false. While they do experience some emotions, these are largely dominated by negative feelings such as power, anger, annoyance, rage, disgust, boredom, and loneliness. They may also experience shame, jealousy, envy, and hatred. However, they do not feel empathy, authentic happiness, or joy in the same way that others do. Instead, they feel a smug satisfaction when they manipulate or harm others and derive enjoyment from putting others down. They do not experience sadness, regret, guilt, remorse, or love in the same way. Narcissists can mimic these emotions to exploit people and are skilled at playing the victim to meet their own needs.
Myth number 2: The narcissist misses you.
Narcissists do not miss people in the same way that others do. Instead, they miss the benefits and emotional responses that people provided them, such as material possessions, admiration, or emotional support. If they discard someone, it is because they believe that person is no longer meeting their needs, and they likely already have other sources of supply lined up. When they try to reconnect with someone they’ve discarded, it is not because they genuinely miss them, but because they believe that person may now be able to meet their needs again.
Myth number 3: You reacting and getting angry at them makes them angry.
Narcissists often provoke reactions from others in order to feel powerful and in control. They may incite negative emotions in others to gain attention and reaffirm their own sense of dominance. However, they may also seek to evoke positive emotions such as guilt or empathy. They are skilled manipulators who understand how to elicit certain responses from others in order to meet their own needs. Remaining silent or indifferent to their manipulation can actually be more effective in hurting them than reacting with anger.
Myth number 4: They hate being alone.
While narcissists may need constant attention and validation, therefore if they’re not receiving any, they hate being alone. They are not necessarily afraid of being alone. They can enjoy their own company and may have multiple sources of supply or partners at once. With the advent of social media, they can maintain connections and seek out new people to manipulate even when physically alone. It’s important to differentiate between being alone and feeling lonely.
Myth number 5: They have a conscience.
Narcissists do not possess a true conscience. They only think of how a situation can benefit them and are incapable of feeling genuine remorse or empathy for those they harm. They may act as though they have a conscience when it serves a purpose or meets a need, but this is simply a manipulation tactic. A true sense of guilt or consideration for others is foreign to them. They are able to walk away from those they have hurt without a second thought, unless it serves their own needs.
By understanding these myths and recognising the true nature of narcissistic individuals, we can better protect ourselves from their manipulation and prioritise our own well-being.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
