The term “narcissist” has become a buzzword in everyday conversation, often used to describe someone who is self-centred or overly confident. However, the reality of narcissistic personality disorder goes much deeper than these surface-level traits. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) explains the nine criteria of narcissism, with someone needing to display at least five to be classed as NPD. Estimates claim between 0.5% and 5% of the population has narcissistic personality disorder, but many more people exhibit narcissistic traits to a lesser degree. This prevalence of narcissism in society leads to a downplaying of its severity, as well as a lack of recognition for those who are genuinely struggling with narcissistic individuals.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
One of the ways in which the severity of narcissism is downplayed is through the claim that the term “narcissist” is overused. Those who display narcissistic behaviour may try to distance themselves from the label by suggesting that it is thrown around too casually. This serves to minimise the impact of true narcissism and place the blame on others for wrongly using the term. This tactic is often employed by those who are trying to hide or escape from their own narcissistic tendencies.
Additionally, those who go undiagnosed as narcissists may mock or belittle those who are dealing with narcissists. This mocking serves to deflect attention away from the true issue at hand and allows the narcissistic individual to maintain control over the narrative. In doing so, they can continue to manipulate and exploit others without facing consequences.
When considering the prevalence of narcissism, it is important to note that even individuals who do not meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder can display narcissistic behaviour. The difference lies in the intention behind the behaviour. A person who exhibits narcissistic traits may do so unknowingly or without malice, while a true narcissist uses these traits to manipulate and control others. It is often the case that narcissists will use healthy intentions to excuse and justify their behaviour while accusing those with good intentions of being narcissistic when they finally stand up to the narcissist.
One example of this can be seen in a workplace setting. A coworker who consistently talks about their accomplishments and seeks attention may be displaying narcissistic traits without the intention of manipulating or controlling others. They may simply be seeking validation and recognition for their hard work, and their behaviour might be a result of insecurity rather than malice.
On the other hand, a true narcissist in the workplace may use their or other people’s accomplishments and charisma to gain favour with their superiors and manipulate their colleagues into doing their work for them. They may belittle others and take credit for their ideas, all the while presenting themselves as the victim when confronted about their behavior.
Another example can be seen in romantic relationships. A partner who constantly seeks validation and compliments may be displaying narcissistic traits without the intention of controlling or manipulating their significant other. They may simply have low self-esteem and be seeking reassurance. On the contrary, a true narcissist in a romantic relationship may use manipulation, gaslighting, and false charm to control and dominate their partner, all while making themselves out to be the victim.
While narcissistic behaviour can manifest in various forms, the intention behind the behaviour is what sets individuals apart. It’s important to recognise and address narcissistic behaviour, especially when it crosses the line into manipulation and control.
Furthermore, it is commonly observed that narcissistic individuals will claim that everyone else is at fault for their problems. They may assert that all their exes are crazy, their family is ungrateful, and their boss doesn’t appreciate them. This behaviour serves to further downplay their own actions and place the blame on others. It also perpetuates a cycle of victim blaming, in which the narcissist portrays themselves as the innocent party while vilifying those around them.
In addition to downplaying the severity of narcissism, there is also a tendency to claim that everyone is a narcissist. This logical fallacy, known as the bandwagon fallacy, occurs when people assume that a claim is true simply because many people believe it to be so. In the case of narcissism, the bandwagon fallacy allows narcissistic individuals to avoid accountability by suggesting that everyone else is just as narcissistic as they are. By lumping everyone into the same category, they can continue to evade scrutiny for their actions.
In conclusion, the prevalence of narcissism in society has led to a downplaying of its severity and a lack of recognition for those who are genuinely struggling with narcissistic individuals. This is often perpetuated by the narcissistic individuals themselves, who use various tactics to distance themselves from the label of “narcissist” and place the blame on others. It is important to understand the difference between healthy narcissistic traits and the intentional manipulation and control exhibited by true narcissists. By acknowledging and addressing the true nature of narcissism, we can better support those who are affected by it and work towards creating healthier and more empathetic relationships in our society.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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The Nine Criteria Of Narcissist Personality Disorder | Understanding Narcissism.
