The Narcissist’s Deceptive Illusion.

Triangulation is a manipulative tactic often used by narcissists to create conflict and competition between the people in their lives. This tactic involves the narcissist exploiting the insecurities and vulnerabilities of their victims by comparing them to others, either directly or indirectly. By doing so, the narcissist is able to maintain control over their victims and ensure that they remain the centre of attention in their lives. In this article, we will explore what triangulation is, and what narcissists hope to achieve through this manipulative tactic, provide five examples of triangulation in different scenarios, and offer advice on what to do if you find yourself being triangulated by a narcissist.

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

What is Triangulation?

Triangulation is a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to create tension and jealousy amongst their victims. This tactic involves the narcissist positioning themselves as the middle person or referee in a conflict between two or more individuals. The narcissist may use statements like “Why can’t you be more like [person’s name]?” or “I wish you were more like [person’s name].” By comparing their victims to others, the narcissist is able to instill feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and competition amongst their victims.

Narcissists may also involve a third party in the form of a friend, family member, or romantic partner to further exacerbate the sense of competition and insecurity amongst their victims. This creates a dynamic where the narcissist is able to maintain control over their victims and ensure that they remain emotionally dependent on them.

What Narcissists Hope to Achieve:

Narcissists employ triangulation as a means of asserting control and dominance over their victims. By pitting their victims against each other or involving a third party in their conflicts, narcissists are able to fuel their own sense of superiority and importance. Additionally, triangulation allows narcissists to maintain a sense of power and control over their victims, as they are able to manipulate their emotions and behaviour to keep them in a state of perpetual competition and jealousy.

Moreover, triangulation allows narcissists to divert attention away from their own shortcomings and misdeeds by shifting the focus onto the conflicts and insecurities of their victims. By doing so, narcissists are able to evade accountability and maintain their position as the central figure in their victims’ lives.

Examples of Triangulation:

Triangulation can manifest in various relationships and scenarios. Here are five examples of triangulation in different contexts:

Triangulation with Parents:
A narcissistic parent may compare their children to each other, using one child as a benchmark for the others. For example, a narcissistic mother may say to one of her children, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling? They are so much more successful than you.” By doing so, the mother instils a sense of competition and inadequacy amongst her children, ensuring that they remain emotionally dependent on her.
Triangulation with Partners:
In a romantic relationship, a narcissistic partner may involve a third party to incite jealousy and insecurity in their significant other. For instance, the narcissistic partner may frequently mention a colleague or friend who is highly successful and attractive, in an attempt to provoke feelings of inadequacy and competition in their partner.
Triangulation with Friends:
A narcissistic individual may engage in triangulation within their social circle by intentionally creating conflict and competition between their friends. This may involve spreading false rumours, comparing achievements, or creating rifts between friends in order to maintain control and dominance over the group.
Triangulation with New Supply:
In the context of a narcissistic individual seeking new romantic partners, they may use triangulation as a means of making their new supply feel special and superior to their ex-partners. The narcissist may speak negatively about their exes, paint them as inferior, and highlight the new supply’s superior qualities in order to create a sense of dependency and superiority in the new partner.
Triangulation in the Workplace:
Narcissists in a professional setting may engage in triangulation by creating conflict between colleagues or team members. This manipulation tactic allows the narcissist to maintain power and control in the workplace by pitting coworkers against each other, thus ensuring that the focus remains on their leadership and authority.

What can you do if you’re being triangulated?

If you find yourself being triangulated by a narcissist, it is important to recognise the manipulative tactics being employed and take steps to protect yourself from their harmful behaviours.

Recognise the Manipulation:
The first step in dealing with triangulation is to recognise the manipulative tactics being used by the narcissist. By acknowledging the triangulation, you can better understand the dynamics at play and take steps to protect yourself from further harm.
Set Boundaries:
Establishing clear boundaries with the narcissist is crucial in protecting yourself from their manipulative behaviour. Communicate your boundaries firmly and assertively, and be prepared to enforce consequences if the narcissist continues to engage in triangulation.
Seek Support:
It is important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide you with guidance and validation. Surrounding yourself with a positive support system can help to counteract the effects of triangulation and provide you with the emotional strength to resist the narcissist’s manipulation.
Focus on Self-Care:
Practicing self-care and prioritising your emotional well-being is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, and take time to nurture your self-esteem and confidence.
Consider Ending the Relationship:
In some cases, the most effective way to protect yourself from a narcissist’s triangulation is to end the relationship altogether. This may be a challenging and painful decision, but in many cases, it is the best option for your long-term well-being.

In conclusion, triangulation is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to create conflict and competition amongst their victims. By understanding the dynamics of triangulation and taking proactive steps to protect yourself, you can effectively counteract the harmful effects of this manipulation tactic and reclaim your emotional well-being. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and do not hesitate to seek help and support in dealing with a narcissistic individual.

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