The Narcissist’s Networking and the Multiplayers They Need to Support Their Illusion.
Narcissists are known for their manipulative and exploitative behaviour and their ability to form and maintain intricate social networks to support their grandiose self-image. They operate in a cycle of idealisation, devaluation, and discard, and they require a cast of characters to fulfil different roles in their lives in order to maintain their illusion of superiority and control. In this article, we will explore the different roles that people may play in a narcissist’s life, how they are used and manipulated by the narcissist, and offer self-help strategies for those who suspect they may be involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.
The Person They’re Love Bombing:
In the initial stages of a narcissistic relationship, the individual is often love-bombed or showered with excessive affection, attention, and praise. The narcissist puts their target on a pedestal, idealising them and making them feel special and cherished. This is a calculated move to gain the person’s trust and admiration, and to manipulate them into fulfilling the narcissist’s needs and desires.
The Person They’re Devaluing:
As the relationship progresses, the narcissist’s behaviour shifts, and they begin to devalue their target. They may become critical, dismissive, or emotionally abusive, causing the individual to question their own worth and constantly seek the narcissist’s approval. This tactic serves to keep the person under the narcissist’s control as they become increasingly reliant on the narcissist for validation and acceptance.
The Person They’re Scapegoating:
Narcissists often choose a scapegoat in their social or familial circle, someone whose faults and shortcomings are exaggerated and blamed for any problems or conflicts that arise. The scapegoat is consistently blamed and manipulated and may feel isolated, ashamed, and unsupported. This tactic allows the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions and maintain their sense of power and control within their social network.
The Person They’re Smearing:
In order to maintain their façade of superiority and virtue, narcissists may engage in a campaign of smearing against those who challenge or threaten their image. They may spread rumours, distort the truth, or sabotage the reputation of their target, often behind their back and in secret. This serves to isolate the individual, damage their credibility, and diminish their support network. The narcissist’s allies and enablers are often persuaded into believing the false allegations and cut ties with the targeted person, further solidifying the narcissist’s control.
The Person They’re Discarding:
When the narcissist no longer finds the person useful, or they pose a threat to the narcissist’s image, the individual is discarded without warning or explanation. This leaves the person confused, betrayed, and hurt as they struggle to understand what went wrong and why they are suddenly being rejected. The discard phase is often followed by attempts to hoover the person back into the narcissist’s web as they realise they may still serve a purpose in the narcissist’s life.
The Vital Roles They Play in the Narcissist’s Life:
Each of these individuals plays a vital role in the narcissist’s social network, contributing to the maintenance of the narcissist’s inflated ego and feeding their thirst for praise, adulation, and control. The love bomber provides the narcissist with a constant source of validation and admiration, reinforcing their self-image as an exceptional and desirable person. The devalued person serves as the narcissist’s emotional punching bag, absorbing the narcissist’s insecurities and anger and propping up their sense of superiority. The scapegoat is used as a target for the narcissist’s frustrations and inadequacies, deflecting blame and accountability. The smeared person is a tool for the narcissist to eliminate any potential threats to their image and dominance, manipulating others to align against the victim. The discarded person is kept on hold as a backup source of validation and adoration should the narcissist require their services again. Each of these individuals is crucial to the narcissist’s ability to maintain control and admiration within their social network.
Playing These People Against Each Other:
Narcissists are master manipulators and are skilled at pitting their social circle against each other to maintain their position of power and control. They may use triangulation techniques, wherein they create tension and jealousy between their targets by comparing them to each other. By sowing seeds of doubt and competition, the narcissist ensures that their targets remain dependent on the narcissist’s approval and validation and distracts the individuals from realising the true extent of the narcissist’s manipulative behaviour. In doing so, the individuals are unwittingly played against each other, with the narcissist at the centre orchestrating the chaos for their benefit.
Having at Least One Person Serving Each Role:
Narcissists typically have at least one person serving each of these roles in their lives at any given time. Their social network is carefully curated to provide them with the necessary sources of validation, admiration, and control, and to ensure that their facade remains intact. They may form intimate relationships, familial ties, work alliances, or friendships based on fulfilling these roles, and their ability to move seamlessly between idealising, devaluing, and discarding individuals allows them to maintain a steady supply of supporters, enablers, and potential scapegoats.
Self-Help Strategies:
If you suspect that you are involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, it is important to understand that you are not alone, and there are strategies and resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation. Recognising the manipulation and exploitation at play is a crucial first step, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide validation, understanding, and guidance can be immensely helpful. It may also be beneficial to establish healthy boundaries and assert your own needs and desires rather than constantly seeking the approval of the narcissist. Learning to recognise the red flags of narcissistic behaviour, practising self-care, and prioritising your own well-being are essential in breaking free from the toxic cycle of idealisation, devaluation and discard. It may also be necessary to seek professional help in disentangling yourself from the narcissist’s web and rebuilding your sense of self-worth and autonomy. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
In conclusion, the narcissist’s networking and the multiplayers they utilise to support their illusion are all part of a carefully orchestrated strategy to maintain their power and control. They rely on a cast of individuals to provide them with the validation, admiration, and support they need to uphold their grandiose self-image, and their ability to manipulate, devalue, and discard their targets ensures that they always have a steady supply of enablers and allies. Recognising the signs of narcissistic manipulation and seeking support and guidance can help individuals break free from the toxic cycle and reclaim their sense of self-worth and agency.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
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