The Narcissist’s Discard: Understanding, Coping, and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse.
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that is characterised by manipulation, control, and exploitation. One of the most painful experiences for victims of narcissistic abuse is the discard, which occurs when the narcissist decides to end the relationship or devalue the victim to the point of no return. In this article, we will explore the narcissist’s discard, why they do it, the signs that they are about to discard, the ways they discard, the impact it has on the victim, and self-help recovery steps for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse.
What the Narcissist’s Discard Is:
The discard is the final stage in the narcissistic abuse cycle, in which the narcissist ends the relationship or devalues the victim to the point of no return. This can be a devastating experience for the victim, as it often comes after a period of idealisation and love bombing, in which the narcissist showers the victim with affection, attention, and gifts. The discard can be sudden and unexpected, leaving the victim feeling confused, hurt, and emotionally devastated.
Why Narcissists Discard:
Narcissists discard their victims for a variety of reasons, but ultimately, it comes down to their need for control, power, and validation. They may discard their victims when they feel they have outlived their use, when the victim starts to assert their own boundaries, or when the narcissist finds a new source of narcissistic supply. The discard can also be a way for the narcissist to punish the victim and exert their power and control over them.
Six Signs the Narcissist Is About to Discard:
There are several signs that a narcissist may be about to discard their victim:
- Lack of empathy: The narcissist will show a complete lack of empathy towards you and your feelings. They may become cold, dismissive, or even cruel in their interactions with you, showing little regard for your emotions or experiences.
- Gaslighting: The narcissist may begin to gaslight you, making you question your own reality and perception of events. They may twist the truth, deny the reality of situations, or blame you for their own wrongdoing, causing you to feel confused and doubt yourself.
- Devaluation: The narcissist may start to devalue you, belittling your accomplishments, dismissing your opinions, and making you feel inadequate or unworthy. They may compare you unfavorably to others and seek to undermine your self-esteem.
- Increased criticism: The narcissist may become increasingly critical of you, finding fault in everything you do and frequently nitpicking and criticising your behaviour, appearance, or choices. This constant criticism can wear down your self-confidence and leave you feeling worthless.
- The Silent Treatment: The narcissist may start giving you the silent treatment, refusing to engage with you, communicate, or acknowledge your presence. This form of emotional manipulation is designed to make you feel insignificant and desperate for their attention and approval.
- Cheating: The narcissist may begin to cheat or engage in other forms of infidelity, betraying your trust and loyalty. They may show little remorse for their actions and may even flaunt their indiscretions in front of you, making you feel disposable and unimportant.
These signs may indicate that the narcissist is preparing to discard you, as they begins to devalue and mistreat you in preparation for ending the relationship. If you notice these red flags, it may be best to seek support and consider ending the relationship yourself before the narcissist can discard you.
Five Ways Narcissists Discard:
- Silent treatment: The narcissist may suddenly stop communicating with the victim, ignoring their calls, texts, and emails.
Example: A person had been in a relationship with someone for two years when they suddenly started giving them the silent treatment, refusing to talk to them for days at a time.
- Blame-shifting: The narcissist may blame the victim for the problems in the relationship, making them feel responsible for the discard.
Example: Someone blamed their ex-partner for the breakup, telling them that they were too needy and demanding, even though they had been emotionally distant for months.
- Ghosting: The narcissist may disappear without warning, cutting off all contact with the victim and leaving them with no explanation.
Example: Someone thought everything was going well with their partner until they suddenly ghosted them, leaving for them feeling abandoned and confused.
- Smear campaign: The narcissist may spread rumours and lies about the victim, trying to ruin their reputation and turn others against them.
Example: Someone’s ex-girlfriend started spreading rumours about them to their mutual friends, painting them as a manipulative and abusive partners.
- Replacement: The narcissist may quickly move on to a new source of narcissistic supply, making the victim feel discarded and replaced.
Example: Someone was devastated when their partner left them for someone else, leaving them feeling worthless and unlovable.
How the Discard Impacts the Victim:
The discard can have a profound and long-lasting impact on the victim, leaving them feeling traumatised, depressed, and emotionally devastated. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience a range of symptoms, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, and low self-esteem. The discard can shatter the victim’s sense of identity and self-worth, leaving them feeling worthless and unlovable. It can also make it difficult for the victim to trust others and form healthy relationships in the future.
Self-Help Recovery Steps:
Recovering from narcissistic abuse and the discard can be a long and challenging process, but it is possible with the right support and resources. Here are some self-help recovery steps for victims of narcissistic abuse:
- Seek therapy: Therapy can be a crucial tool for processing the trauma of the discard and rebuilding self-esteem and boundaries. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
- Educate yourself: Learning about narcissistic abuse and the discard can help victims understand what they have been through and start the healing process.
- Practice self-care: Engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with supportive friends and family, can help victims heal from the trauma of the discard.
- Set boundaries: Learning to set and enforce boundaries is crucial for protecting oneself from future narcissistic abuse.
- Seek support: Finding a support group or community of survivors of narcissistic abuse can provide validation, understanding, and support for victims as they navigate the recovery process.
In conclusion, the narcissist’s discard is a painful and devastating experience for victims of narcissistic abuse. It is crucial for victims to understand why narcissists discard, recognise the signs of an impending discard, and seek support and resources to recover from the trauma. With time, therapy, and self-care, victims can heal from the discard and rebuild their sense of self-worth and resilience.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.