The Gaslighting Game: How Narcissists Justify Their Behaviour.
Gaslighting is a term that has gained attention in recent years, particularly in the context of abusive relationships and toxic dynamics. It refers to the tactic of manipulating someone into doubting their own reality, memory, and perceptions. Gaslighting is a common behaviour of narcissists, who use it as a way to maintain control over their partners, friends, or family members. In this article, we will explore the gaslighting game and how narcissists justify their behaviour in different situations.
“It’s only because I care.”
One of the ways that narcissists justify their behaviour is by claiming that they are only looking out for the best interests of the other person. For example, in a romantic relationship, a narcissistic partner may insist on knowing where their partner is at all times and what they are doing. They may argue that it is because they care deeply about their partner and want to ensure their safety. However, this behaviour is not about caring for the other person, but rather about controlling them and maintaining power in the relationship.
Similarly, narcissistic parents may justify their controlling behaviour by claiming that they are doing what is best for their child. For instance, a parent may stop their child from pursuing their own goals and desires, insisting that they know what is best for their child. This can lead to a child feeling stifled and unable to make their own choices, perpetuating a cycle of control and manipulation.
“I just want to spend more time with you.”
Another way that narcissists justify their behaviour is by isolating their victims from their friends and family. In a romantic relationship, a narcissistic partner may insist on spending all of their time with their partner, making it difficult for them to see their friends and family. They may claim that they just want to spend more time with their partner because they love them so much. However, this behaviour is about isolating the victim and ensuring that they have no support system outside of the relationship.
Similarly, a narcissistic parent may feel threatened by their child’s desire to spend time with friends and may actively work to isolate their child from their social circle. This can lead to the child feeling cut off from their support system and may make it difficult for them to break free from the control of their parent.
“I’m only trying to help.”
Narcissists may also use the guise of “helping” as a way to justify their sabotaging behaviour. For example, a narcissistic friend may discourage their friend from pursuing a new job opportunity because they don’t want their friend to outshine them. They may claim that they are only trying to help their friend by pointing out all the potential negatives of the opportunity. However, this behaviour is about maintaining control and ensuring that the narcissist remains in a position of power.
Similarly, a narcissistic partner may claim to be “helping” their partner by discouraging them from pursuing their passions or interests. They may belittle their partner’s dreams and aspirations, claiming that they know what is best for them. This can lead to the victim feeling trapped and unable to pursue their own goals and desires.
“I don’t think that’s for you.”
Another common tactic used by narcissists is to undermine the confidence and self-esteem of their victims. For example, a narcissistic boss may dismiss the ideas and contributions of their employees, claiming that they are not capable of handling certain tasks. This behaviour is about maintaining power and control in the workplace.
Similarly, a narcissistic parent may constantly criticise and belittle their child, claiming that they are not capable of achieving their goals. This can lead to the child internalising these negative messages and may result in a lack of self-confidence and self-worth.
“Look what you made me do.”
One of the most insidious ways that narcissists justify their behaviour is by blaming their victims for their own actions. For example, a narcissistic partner may become physically or emotionally abusive and then blame it on their partner, claiming that they pushed them to it. This behaviour is about avoiding responsibility and shifting the blame onto the victim.
Similarly, a narcissistic parent may blame their child for their own shortcomings and failures, perpetuating a cycle of guilt and manipulation. This can lead to the child feeling responsible for their parent’s actions and may result in a lifetime of emotional distress.
In conclusion, the gaslighting game is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to maintain control and power over their victims. By justifying their behaviour with false claims of “caring” and “helping,” they are able to manipulate and undermine the confidence and self-esteem of their victims. It is important for those who are experiencing gaslighting to recognise the signs and seek support from a qualified professional. Breaking free from the gaslighting game takes courage and support, but it is possible to regain control of one’s reality and live a life free from manipulation.
The Gaslighting Game: How Narcissists Justify Their Behaviour.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
