Surviving the Narcissist’s Tactics: What They Hope to Achieve After the Discard.
The experience of being involved with a narcissist can be extremely damaging and traumatic. Once the discard phase begins, it becomes crucial to understand the underlying motivations and tactics employed by the narcissist. This article aims to explore the various goals and potential outcomes that narcissists hope to achieve after discarding their victims.
Firstly, it is important to understand what the discard phase entails. The discard is when the narcissist decides to abruptly end the relationship, often without any warning or explanation. This action can leave the victim feeling confused, hurt, and abandoned. The narcissist may completely shut down any form of communication, leaving the victim to question what went wrong and why they were discarded so cruelly.
One of the primary reasons why narcissists discard their victims is their insatiable need for admiration and adoration. They thrive on the attention and validation they receive from others, and when they feel that their current supply no longer fulfils this need, they search for new sources of admiration. This new supply serves as a means to boost their ego and reinforce their false sense of superiority.
In addition to seeking new supply, the narcissist’s goal in discarding their victim is to destroy them emotionally and psychologically. By inflicting emotional pain and causing confusion, the narcissist derives a twisted sense of pleasure and control. They want to ensure that their victim feels worthless and powerless without them, making it easier for the narcissist to maintain a sense of power and dominance.
Regaining control is another major objective for the narcissist after the discard. By manipulating their victims, the narcissist aims to regain the upper hand. They may play mind games, provoke intense emotions, and label the victim as bitter or jealous. They hope to elicit reactive behaviour, ensuring that the victim remains trapped in a cycle of emotional turmoil and dependence on the narcissist’s manipulation.
Moreover, the narcissist often seeks attention to prove to themselves and others that there is nothing wrong with them. They want to convince everyone that their actions and choices are justified and that any blame lies solely with their victim. This desire for validation is deeply rooted in their need for self-preservation and the preservation of their carefully constructed facade.
Seeking revenge is another common motive for the narcissist after the discard, even when the choice to end the relationship was their own. The narcissist’s wounded ego cannot tolerate the idea that their victim may move on and find happiness without them. They may embark on a mission to rewrite history, pinning blame on the victim and vindictively tarnishing their reputation.
Maintaining control over their own self-presentation is another crucial goal for the narcissist after the discard. They want others to perceive them as faultless and unaffected by the breakup. Any indication that they still have a hold over their discarded victim or that they are capable of attracting new supply serves as a validation of their perceived superiority.
Lastly, the possibility of returning to the discarded victim remains a lingering hope for many narcissists. If their new supply fails to meet their expectations or their mind becomes occupied with other issues, the narcissist may seek to reignite the flame with their previous victim. They may manipulate the situation, assuming that their victim has not moved on or that they are desperately trying to make the narcissist jealous.
Surviving the narcissist’s tactics after the discard is no easy feat. It requires a deep understanding of their motivations and the ability to resist their manipulation. By recognising the narcissist’s underlying goals, victims can empower themselves to break free from the cycle of abuse and begin the journey towards healing and recovery.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
