How to Seek Justice After Dealing with a Narcissist.
It is completely normal to feel a sense of betrayal, deception, or loss when someone has harmed you, lied to you, cheated on you, deceived you, or stolen from you. Seeking justice or revenge is a natural response to these emotions, as it provides a sense of closure and control in a situation where you may have felt helpless.
Uncertainty caused by such experiences often results in stress, anxiety, fear, and worry. Therefore, seeking revenge can help restore a sense of certainty in uncertain times. It is essential to recognise and acknowledge these feelings without judgment, as they are a normal part of being human. However, it is crucial to remember that intentionally harming another individual makes you toxic, whereas having the desire for revenge does not.
Seeking revenge is an attempt to release feelings of resentment and anger. However, it is important to understand that targeting the person who hurt you is counterproductive. By doing so, you remain trapped in the situation, while the narcissist thrives on the attention. They will accuse you of being the villain, allowing them to play the victim and gain sympathy from others. They manipulate the situation through a technique called P.L.A.Y – Provoke, Label, Accuse, and Yield. As a result, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
To seek revenge on a narcissist, you must channel your emotions and desire for justice into moving forward with your life. Cutting off all contact with them is a crucial step in this process. By depriving them of the attention they desperately seek from you, you regain control. If going no contact is challenging, adopting a strategy known as grey rock—a method of limiting exposure—can be beneficial.
Thrive on personal growth and self-discovery. Narcissists envy the identity and relationships of others, so building new friendships and living life to the fullest is a powerful form of revenge. Narcissists thrive on controlling others, so by no longer reacting to their attempts to provoke a response, you hurt them. Additionally, accomplish the goals and achievements the narcissist once told you were impossible. Using the emotion of revenge as a driving force, you can achieve great things and break free from the toxic cycle.
Remember, how the narcissist reacts to your newfound happiness and success is entirely their responsibility. You have the right to live your life independently, with your own identity, friends, and family. You are no longer obligated to give your attention to those who only gave you attention when they needed something from you.
Ignore the narcissist and their drama. They despise being ignored. Focus on self-care, as this will provide solace and help you live well. When you refuse to engage with their attempts to regain control, they may escalate their behaviour by labelling you as awkward, selfish, or difficult. Recognise that this is their attempt to guilt you. Maintain your focus on self-care, gather evidence if necessary, and continue to ignore their manipulations.
Understand that narcissists will continue to seek control over you, especially when they have lost it. They might escalate their games and attempt revenge. However, by not reacting to their actions, they will eventually grow bored of you. They may continue to blame you and fall silent, but by staying safe and maintaining your distance, you can protect yourself from their lack of empathy.
In conclusion, seeking justice and revenge after dealing with a narcissist is a natural response. However, it is essential to channel these emotions in a productive way. By cutting off contact and focusing on personal growth and self-care, you can break free from their toxic influence and find happiness in your own life. Remember, your independence, identity, and well-being are essential, and they should not be compromised by individuals who lack empathy.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
